Second Chances
by JMS529
Summary: AU S3 Marshall struggles to deal with his family & friends after finally having enough of being criticized, judged and used by them. They struggle not to lose him and for a second chance.
1. Chapter 1

Thanks to Dog in the Whisper for betaing this for me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Second Chances**

This had already been a long year as far as Marshall was concerned. With Mary's announcement of her engagement, her breaking up with Raph, her shooting and the nightmares that it had given him, to her running off to Mexico with Faber after he confessed his feelings, the fact that she had chosen Faber over him and the inkling that she was still seeing the sleazebag had been bad a lot for him to deal with. His father's arrival for Operation Falcon to observe his worth as a Marshal and Stan's continual comments on Mary being his best inspector despite her blatant disregard for the rules and he felt he had reached an all new low in his life. Lately, he was trying to figure out where he had gone wrong or what was wrong with him.

This trip home didn't bode well. It's not that he didn't love his family, but he didn't measure up to their standards. His Dad's trip was a glowing example of that. They may have come to a small understanding, but Marshall knew it wouldn't hold up when confronted with his brothers and their families. Nope, he probably should've gone off on his own. Staying at work would've more than likely proved his theory about Mary and Faber. He and Mary were already struggling to get onto an even keel and throwing Faber into the mix would just add to their problems.

_When will I ever be good enough?_ That thought continued to plague his mind lately and he hadn't been able to shake it. He was tired of always being last with people. No matter how hard he tried, he always seemed to fall short in measuring up to everyone's standards.

Grabbing his bag from the car rental, he hoisted it over his shoulder and headed towards the door. The door opened before he could reach the handle.

"Marshall," Rachel Mann said, pulling her youngest son into an embrace.

"Merry Christmas, Mom," Marshall replied.

"That it is. It's good to have you home again. Why don't you put your gear up in your old room, and then come down and join us in the living room. Everyone is here already," Rachel said.

Marshall nodded and went upstairs to his room. Setting his bag on the bed, he took a deep breath before joining the rest of his family.

"Marshall," Seth greeted his son, as he grabbed a chair.

"Dad."

"Uncle Marshall," Lizzie Mann said, running towards him.

"Hi, Princess," Marshall replied, picking her up a giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Aaron, Twiggy arrived," Shane called out.

Marshall rolled his eyes. "Shane, what's new?"

"Jory's pregnant, due in June," Shane replied, excitedly.

"Congrats. Lizzie do you want a baby brother or a sister?" Marshall asked, hoping to turn his attention on his niece.

"Sister, boys aren't any fun," Lizzie replied.

Marshall couldn't help but smirk at that comment.

"Mommy and Daddy want a boy though," Lizzie wrinkled her nose at that thought.

"I'll keep wishing for a sister for you," Marshall whispered softly to Lizzie.

"You're the best, Uncle Marshall," Lizzie said, before leaving the room.

"Do I want to know Twiggy?" Shane asked. Marshall just shrugged in reply.

"Twiggy, what's happening in Albuquerque? Have you given any thought to transferring into a major metropolis? Think of the action that can happen while you're there," Aaron said, entering the room.

"I'm perfectly fine where I'm at," Marshall replied.

"Seriously, there'd be more action in a big city. You should look into it," Aaron badgered.

"There's plenty of action in Albuquerque. I don't need to relocate," Marshall reiterated.

"Aaron, lay off your brother. He just arrived for heaven's sake," Jory said, smacking Aaron on her way to sit next to her husband.

"Congrats, Jory. I guess I don't need to ask what you and Shane have been up to," Marshall said, teasingly.

"Thanks, Shane's head is already swollen. Don't help him out," Jory replied, smiling.

"It's always been that way. I doubt it'll change," Marshall teased back.

"Hi, Marshall," Tess said joining the group.

"Tess, where are the kids?" Marshall asked his sister-in-law.

"Dean and Becca are playing their video games downstairs. They may eventually emerge to grace us with their presence," Tess said, rolling her eyes.

"Speaking of children, when are you going to start having them?" Aaron asked. "Oh wait, first there has to be a girl. So where are you in the dating stage? Stagnant like high school?"

"More like non-existent?" Shane chimed in.

_So it begins._ Marshall couldn't help but think.

"Marshall, could you come out here and help me please?" Rachel called out.

She heard where the conversation was heading and knew that it would just evolve into her sons making fun of Marshall's life. They never meant anything cruel by it, but she worried about the day it became too much. Marshall might be the sensitive one, but he had a side to him that Rachel feared would unleash itself on his brothers. Shane and Aaron would be in for a rude awakening when that happened. She couldn't help but think that day was drawing nearer.

"Coming Mom," Marshall called back in relief.

"Saved by Mom. We're not through here," Aaron cautioned Marshall.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The next few days were more of the same teasing about his personal life and insinuating that his career was too easy and at a standstill. He needed to relocate in order to get anywhere. Marshall knew that he'd never told them what he did for a living, but he was pretty sure they guessed it. He also knew they were of the same opinion of his father on WITSEC. Tomorrow was Christmas and he only had six more days to get through with the constant ridicule. The problem was he wasn't sure if he could stay quiet much longer.

Marshall knew that he went to bed early last night in order to stop himself from causing a scene and upsetting his nieces and nephew. He'd been really close to telling Aaron and Shane to screw off.

Coming into the kitchen he joined the rest of the adults, minus Seth at the table. The kids apparently were off watching cartoons.

"Marshall, before your father gets back I need to know if you can get the last weekend in March off. I got the hall reserved for his retirement party," Rachel said, excitedly.

"I won't know until I get back. It will depend on the case load and what's going on that week," Marshall replied, honestly.

"How hard could it be, Twiggy? You don't really do that much now do you? It's not like you're out busting your hump every day looking for fugitives," Shane said.

Marshall ignored Shane. "I'll let you know, when I get back to work."

Seth came in before anything else could be said.

"So Dad, what was it like working with Marshall?" Aaron asked, amused. He was waiting for there to be something new to tease his brother on.

"Educational," Seth replied.

"Care to expand on that?" Shane asked.

Marshall dreaded the answer he was about to hear.

"His methods are unique, but effective for what he does," Seth replied.

"In short form, he's good at his branch, but wouldn't cut it in the Fugitive Task Force. So you take a simpler branch. No action and less danger," Aaron said.

Seth was about to correct him, but Marshall stood up and took his plate into the kitchen. When he heard Shane and Aaron still criticizing his career and personal life he hit his threshold.

Jory looked up and saw something she'd never seen in Marshall's eyes before. She realized that things were about to get ugly. Thinking it would be wise to change the topic, she was just about to speak up when Marshall unleashed his anger at his brothers.

"Yeah, that's right, Aaron. No danger for us. That's why two years ago I had a bullet wound in my chest and last year my partner had one in her abdomen that almost killed her. You can't compare the danger in our jobs to the good old fugitive task force. How often have you been shot? Silly us, we don't go pounding down doors just to listen to the sounds of cuffs being put on and slapping each other on the back for a job well done. Same old high school crap that you did on the football team. Heaven forbid you have to use your brain for something. As for my personal life, what should I have followed, your high school example, Aaron? Sleep with any girl that would put out until a new one could be found? Or maybe I should have followed Shane's example. Date one sister and screw around on her with her other sister and her best friend. That worked out really well for you didn't it?" Marshall hissed out angrily.

"That's enough!" Seth shouted.

Rachel saw Marshall's face and knew he wasn't done.

"_Now _it's enough? Heaven forbid someone talk back to Shane and Aaron. It's perfectly fine if it's about me, but don't touch the perfect sons. Well sorry I was such a disappointment. You wonder why I only come back once a year; take a look at the double standards you've applied to me all of these years. I get you don't understand me, but then again you never really tried. The only reason you came to Albuquerque was to deem me unfit to carry on the Mann name in the Marshals Service," Marshall said, glaring at his father.

"Marshall," Rachel tried.

"Don't worry Mom, I'm done. I'm completely done," Marshall replied, heading out of the kitchen and into his bedroom.

"Are the three of you satisfied now?" Rachel asked, disgusted.

"That's not fair Mom," Shane said, defensively.

"Actually it is," Jory replied. "Every time Marshall comes home for Christmas, you ride him. Did it ever occur to you that he doesn't find it funny? I'm surprised it took him this long to explode. You damn well better apologize profusely to your brother. He more than deserves it."

"If you were smart, Aaron, you wouldn't say a word. Jory is right about the two of you. The fact that he called you out on it, says a lot. I know that you think it's funny, but I highly doubt you thought that when he commented about your high school self," Tess said.

"What is this? Gang up on your husbands?" Aaron asked.

"Doesn't feel good, does it? Yet you always do it to Marshall when he comes home. The three of you always alienate him and it needs to stop or he won't be coming back anymore," Rachel said looking at her oldest sons and husband.

She then turned towards her husband. "Seth, while I realize that you were trying to prevent a fight, nothing that Marshall said wasn't true. You did go to Albuquerque to decide if he was good enough and yet you came home surprised at what you saw. He's not the little boy that adored you, but I'm afraid he's becoming the man that will tolerate you when necessary. You wanted to change things after you came back from seeing Marshall. You wanted to get to know him better, but the first chance you get to do that you yell at him after he's been harassed for three days by his brothers. How did you think it would go over?"

"I'll talk to him after midnight mass," Seth said, "but we need to get ready to go or we won't make it."

"Shane and I will talk to him too," Aaron replied, seeing the glares from Jory and Tess.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall locked the door to his room and began packing his things while formulating a plan. They had gone to the ten o'clock 'midnight' mass and would think he was at a bar or somewhere else that he could go to cool off.

He refused to stay here and deal with the insults any longer. He didn't want to go back to Albuquerque and hear about Mary getting together with Faber, before he headed to Washington or even worse that they spent Christmas together. Right now the only thing he wanted to do was disappear from the world and not be found.

"Marshall," Rachel said, knocking on his door. "We're heading out for mass."

"I'm not going," Marshall replied.

"Marshall," she tried again.

"I'm fine, Mom. I'm just not going," Marshall shrugged, even though he knew she couldn't see it.

"Alright, I'll see you later," Rachel replied.

"Bye, Mom," Marshall said.

Marshall listened as they all left the house. He waited a half an hour before leaving. He drove the rental car back to the agency, after stopping at an ATM and getting enough cash to last him the rest of his so-called vacation. Grabbing a cab he went to a house that had a car for sale. It was a beater, but at least he couldn't be tracked. Getting into the car he took his phone out and turned it off so it couldn't be traced.

Pulling out of the driveway, he headed to the interstate, deciding to drive to Las Vegas. He could easily get lost in a crowd and no one would think of looking for him there. He had already toured the Hoover Dam and drove by Area 51. Mary laughed when he did that on their way home from a witness transfer. She couldn't believe they were the only two things he wanted to see in Las Vegas. She knew that he had a passion for experiencing new things. That would take Vegas out of their scope, besides he had to pass through New Mexico to get there. It wouldn't make sense for him not to just go home.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth, Shane and Aaron headed up to Marshall's room upon their return. Seth continued to turn over the words Marshall had said in his head. It hurt more than he thought possible. The drawing he carried around in his briefcase came to mind. Rachel was right; Marshall had adored him as a child. When he looked at Marshall now, he realized his son was right. He didn't understand him and he hadn't tried.

Seth knocked on the door.

"Marshall?"

Not getting an answer, he turned the handle. When he opened the door and the three of them stepped in, the first thing Seth noticed was the untouched bed.

"Check the closet," Shane said.

Seth walked over to the closet. All Marshall's clothes were gone and so was his bag. Grabbing his cell phone he speed dialed Marshall's cell number.

"Aaron, check the garage and see if his car is still in there," Seth ordered, getting Marshall's voice mail.

Seth called the phone again. Getting the voice mail, he left a message.

"Marshall, this is Dad. Where are you? Your brothers and I would like to talk to you. Give me a call when you get this message."

Seth and Shane headed downstairs looking for Aaron.

"It's gone," Aaron said, as he ran into them.

"What's going on?" Jory asked.

"Marshall's gone. He packed all of his things and his car isn't in the garage. I left a message on his voice mail," Seth replied, staring at his wife.

"Can't you track him?" Rachel asked.

"Let's see if he calls back. If he doesn't I'll drive around and see if I can find him," Seth said.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth and Aaron climbed into the car three hours later. Closing time at the bars was at two in the morning and a bar was the only place left that Marshall could be. He should've been back by now. There was nowhere else that would be open at this hour. Shane was calling all the local hotel and motels.

Rachel waited up with Tess, having sent Jory to bed: being pregnant she needed her sleep. Shane looked at the women.

"I called at the hotels in the area and he hasn't checked into any of them."

An hour later Seth and Aaron returned.

"We couldn't find him anywhere. I went to the office and tried to track his cell phone. He must have it turned it off. We ran his financials and other then a few sizeable cash withdrawals at the ATM a few blocks from here, nothing shows up. I have the phone numbers for both Stan and Mary. I'll call them if we don't hear from Marshall soon," Seth said, talking to his wife. He saw the tears starting to form in her eyes. "Marshall will be fine. He knows how to take care of himself."

"He's supposed to be with us, not running away from us," Rachel replied.

"I know and I'm sorry," Seth said. "Let's just try and get some sleep."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

It was now seven in the morning and Marshall had just passed Tucumcari, New Mexico. He was half way to Vegas. He was feeling a little guilty about not leaving his Mom a note. She would be worried. Tomorrow he'd pick up a disposable phone. He'd arrive in Vegas around six tonight and would need to sleep. After that he could get the phone and the things he needed to escape his life for awhile.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Marshall whispered, even though he knew she couldn't hear.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Rachel sat up in bed. She realized Lizzie was tugging her arm.

"Grandma, Grandpa, hurry, Santa's been here."

Seth and Rachel smiled at their granddaughter and headed downstairs. Becca and Dean were waiting excitedly by the tree with the rest of the adults half-awake on the sofa.

"Alright, let's start," Tess said, covering a yawn.

"Aunt Tess, we can't start yet, Uncle Marshall isn't here. Do you want me to go get him?" Lizzie asked.

Shane hated what he had to say next. "Uncle Marshall isn't here, but he'd want you to open your gifts."

"Where did he go, Daddy?" Lizzie asked.

Shane wasn't sure how to reply. No one wanted to upset the children.

"He got called away to work," Seth replied. He hated the lie, but he didn't want to tell Lizzie they caused Marshall to leave.

"He didn't say goodbye," Becca said.

"Uncle Marshall always says goodbye to us," Dean joined in.

"We were gone when he had to leave," Rachel replied.

They all opened their gifts until the only ones left were Marshall's.

"I'll go start breakfast," Rachel said, needing something to keep her distracted. The sight of Marshall's gifts under the tree made her want to cry.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall arrived in Vegas as he anticipated. Checking into a hotel off the strip he collapsed on the bed exhausted. He fell asleep a few minutes later. Unfortunately, it was a restless sleep, haunted by images of the last few years. His mood was growing darker and he was unsure how to stop it. He had always been able to get over everything that was thrown his way. This was the first time he couldn't seem to let it slide.

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The sun streamed in through the blinds in Marshall's room, waking him up. Looking at the clock, he saw that is was eight in the morning. At least he could say Christmas was over. He grabbed some clothes before showering and changing. Once he was done he headed out to grab a disposable phone, some food and several bottles of good whisky. The sooner the week flew by the sooner he could bury himself in his work. If he came back early there'd be questions and more harassing, and the one thing he knew was that he was done bearing the brunt of everyone's jokes.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan entered the office and heard his phone ringing. Seeing the area code he had a good idea who it was.

"Marshall?"

"Stan, this is Seth."

"Is everything okay?" Stan asked, confused.

"I was wondering if you heard from Marshall at all since Christmas Eve," Seth said.

"No, I haven't heard from him since he left to visit you. Why?" Stan was getting a knot in his stomach.

"We don't know where Marshall is. Could you ask Mary if she's heard from him?" Seth asked.

"I can give her a call. She's off until tomorrow," Stan said.

"Don't bother her on her time off. If you hear from Marshall, could you please tell him to call us?" Seth asked.

"Do you want me to trace his phone?" Stan asked.

"I've tried. It must be turned off. He's not using his credit cards either. He did take a large sum of money out before he left. I'm assuming he's using cash to stay off the radar," Seth replied.

"Why would he be hiding from you?" Stan asked.

"Family quarrel," Seth replied.

"I'll ask Mary as soon as I see her," Stan said, concerned.

"Thanks, Stan. Sorry for bothering you."

"It's not a bother. Let me know if you find Marshall."

"I will." Seth replied.

Stan hung up and started his own search. He ran Marshall's aliases, financials and tried to track his phone just in case it was turned on. Marshall wasn't prone to suddenly disappear. A part of him debated calling Mary, but he decided to hold off. She didn't take vacation time often and he didn't want her coming in unless it was absolutely necessary.


	2. Chapter 2

Marshall returned to the hotel after shopping and wandering aimlessly down the strip for most of the day and part way into the evening. He finished eating his sandwich before opening the first bottle of whisky. After drinking three quarters of the bottle he grabbed the disposable phone. Forgetting the original purpose for purchasing it, he decided he needed an answer to the question that kept plaguing his mind.

"Shannon."

"Mare, why, why am I never good enough?" Marshall slurred the words out.

"Marshall?" Mary asked, confused. She didn't recognize the number that showed up.

"Duh, why am I never good enough?" Marshall asked again.

Mary sat up. Marshall was hammered. That much she knew from his slurred voice, but why he was hammered while visiting his parents made about as much sense as his question.

"What are you talking about?" Mary asked, concerned.

"You, Stan, my family, I'm never good enough. Why?" Marshall slurred again.

"Damn it Faber, not now," Mary hissed, trying to turn her attention to whatever was going on with Marshall.

Marshall heard 'Faber' and hung up. _Yep, once again not good enough. _He couldn't stop that thought.

"Marshall," Mary said. "What the hell?"

Faber was trying to start another go around and Mary was getting pissed. She needed to find out what was wrong with Marshall. Dialing the number he was using she called back only to have it go to voice mail.

"You have a plane to catch. Go shower and get out," Mary snapped.

"Aren't you going to join me, Kitten?" Mike asked.

"No. Go home, Mike," Mary said, finding the number she was looking for, she hit dial.

"Mann residence."

"May I speak with Marshall?" Mary asked.

"Grandpa, someone is looking for Uncle Marshall," Dean called out.

"Hello, who is this?" Seth asked, eagerly.

"Seth?"

"Mary?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, I was trying to get a hold of Marshall. He called, but hung up. I called back, but it went straight to voice mail," Mary replied.

"Did he tell you where he was calling from?" Seth asked, not thinking.

"I assumed he was calling from your house. Why wouldn't he be?" Mary asked, concerned.

"What number did he call you from?" Seth asked eagerly.

"I have to end the call to pull it up," Mary replied.

"Mary, I _need_ that number," Seth said.

"You tell me what the hell is going on and I'll call you back with the number," Mary replied irritated. Something was wrong.

"Marshall left on Christmas Eve. Let's just say there was a family disagreement. Since he's good at what he does, I'm assuming he's hiding at his house," Seth said, informing Mary of everything they've managed to check.

"Give me a second and I'll call back with the number. When I'm done with that I'll check his house," Mary replied.

"How are you going to get in?" Seth asked.

"Marshall and I have keys to each other's houses. I call back in a minute."

Mary was scrolling through her calls list, as Faber emerged showered and dressed.

"You gave Marshall a key to your house?" Faber said, surprised.

"He gave me one to his too. What's the problem? Why are you still here?" Mary asked.

"You could come with me to Washington. We could have more time together," Faber said.

"No thanks. I have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Marshall is more important then spending time with me?" Faber said, trying to sound hurt.

"Of course." Mary looked at him like he was nuts while writing down the number Marshall called from. She called Seth back.

"Mary?"

"Do you have a pen and paper?" Mary asked, before giving Seth the number.

"What did Marshall ask you?"

"Why he was never good enough. Do you know what that means?"

"I know why he'd ask me and his brothers that, but unsure why he asked you." Seth replied.

"Marshall was drunk when he called. He might not have realized what he was asking. I'll check his house and if I find him, I'll let you know," Mary said.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

Mary hung up, grabbed the keys to Marshall's house and the phone number. She would do her own research. Marshall's question kept running through the back of her mind. He felt she and Stan, like his family, didn't appreciate him.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Who was that?" Rachel asked, as soon as Seth hung up.

"Mary, Marshall's partner. He called her a little while ago and hung up." Seth explained the rest of their conversation. "I'm going to the office to try and track this phone number."

"Call me the second you know something," Rachel said. The fact that Marshall was drunk concerned her. She knew it happened on occasion, but not very often.

"We'll find him. At least we know that he's semi okay." Seth wouldn't qualify being drunk as okay, but at least he was alive.

"This isn't okay, Seth," Rachel said.

"No it's not. Shane, Aaron and I need to have a talk with Marshall. I never wanted him to get the impression he wasn't good enough for me. I didn't think we'd gotten that far lost," Seth said.

"You're not the only one to blame," Aaron said, having overheard the last part of the conversation.

"We share the blame with you on this," Shane agreed.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary went to Marshall's and found the house empty. She did find a copy of his original itinerary and grabbed that. She then headed to the Sunshine Building to track her wayward partner.

Stepping out of the elevator, she swiped herself in. Mary saw Stan's office blinds closed, but could hear him talking on the phone. Sitting down she turned on her computer and began to track Marshall's movements. The car rental agency was her first place to call.

"This is U.S. Marshal Mary Shepard. I'm trying to find information on one of your rental cars. The car was rented to a Marshall Mann at your location on December 21st. I need to know if the car is still checked out by Mr. Mann and if it is, whether it has a tracking device on it," Mary said. She waited the few seconds while the person checked the file.

"I'm sorry, but that car was returned on Christmas a little after midnight," the man replied.

"Is there anyone there who could talk to me about the return and Mr. Mann?" Mary asked hopefully.

"The person that helped him will be coming into work in about an hour. Would you like me to have him give you a call?" the man asked.

"Yes, please," Mary replied, giving the phone number to him. "Thank you."

Mary was trying to think. Marshall basically left them with nothing to go on and no way to track him so far. She began to run the telephone number that Marshall had called her on. Lost in her train of thought she never heard Stan come out of the office.

"Mary, what are doing here?" Stan asked.

"Trying to find my partner, apparently," Mary grumbled.

"Seth called you too?" Stan asked.

"No, I called Seth after Marshall called me. Something is seriously wrong with Marshall."

"What did he say to you?" Stan asked.

"He asked me why he wasn't good enough," Mary relayed the rest of the conversation.

"Seth said they had a fight, but Marshall lumped us into the whole thing also. Why?" Stan asked, confused.

"I don't know, that's why I'm trying to track down the number he called me on. Maybe we can find him that way," Mary shrugged.

"He's not using his credit cards. I put a flag on them. If he uses his credit cards then we should get a call. If he's using cash, then we may not be able to find him. I've got a request out on Marshall's name and aliases to the airlines, car rental agencies, bus and train stations to call me if he shows up on their records."

"Good."

"Why would Marshall hang up on you after calling? Did something happen between the questions?" Stan asked.

Mary flashed back to the phone call. The only time she said anything other then to Marshall, was when Faber tried to feel her up. She then thought about her trip to Mexico. Marshall's words to her before she ran out haunted her still. She knew he had somehow found out about Faber before she returned. Things were definitely strained between them and apparently weren't going to get better anytime soon.

"Marshall heard Faber in the background," Mary said, softly.

Stan knew how poorly that would go over. Marshall didn't trust Mike Faber at all. Add that to the way Marshall felt about Mary and he was pretty sure that had to hurt. Why Mary would choose Mike over Marshall even Stan didn't understand.

Deciding it was smarter not to say anything about that comment he decided to focus on himself.

"Did Marshall mention anything as to why he thought he wasn't good enough for me?" Stan asked.

"No, he hung up before I could get any answers. Stan, we're not going to be able to find him, if he's using cash," Mary said, as the computer brought up nothing on the phone. "The phone isn't traceable. He made sure that he didn't leave us any clues. How the hell are we supposed to find him?"

"I think that's the point. He doesn't want to be found," Stan replied, running his hand over his bald spot. "Is there anything in between Dallas and here that he mentioned wanting to see?"

"No, he usually sees something along the way and decides it would be fun to stop in or he grabs the brochures in the hotel lobby. I don't think there is much between Texas and New Mexico that he hasn't seen," Mary said, frustrated.

Stan grabbed his cell phone. "Let's see if Seth has any ideas."

"Mann residence."

"Seth?"

"Stan, did you hear from Marshall?" Seth asked, eagerly.

"No, but he isn't leaving us a trail either. He turned in the rental vehicle at the airport," Stan filled him in on the rest. "Is there anywhere he mentioned stopping at to see something between here and there?"

Seth felt his shoulders sag at the information Stan relayed. "No, nothing that I'm aware of. We're not going to find him if he doesn't want to be found, are we?"

"No. You know he's damn good at his job. He knows how to make people disappear. He knew what he was doing when he left. The only chance we have is if he calls back again. That more than likely means he'll be hammered, it would be the only time he would let his defenses down," Stan replied, knowingly.

"Call me if you hear from Marshall," Seth said before hanging up.

Seth turned around to see five adults looking at him hopefully.

"They haven't found anything either. Stan's right though. If Marshall doesn't want to be found he knows full well how to stay off the grid. We won't find him unless he slips up or decides to talk," Seth admitted.

"You track fugitives for a living, how hard could it be to find Marshall?" Tess asked.

"Considering what I'm assuming his job is, damn well impossible," Aaron said.

"What exactly does that mean?" Rachel asked.

"If we're right and Marshall is in the Witness Protection Division of the U.S. Marshals Service, he hides people in plain sight for a living. He would know how to hide without leaving a trail," Shane replied.

"You're telling me, we might not find Marshall?" Rachel said.

"Marshall called Mary. He was drunk, but he did call her. He might try again. If he's inebriated then his walls might come down and he might reach out again. I don't know that he'd call Mary again, because he hung up on her. He might try Stan. If he calls here it would only be to talk to you, Rachel. He asked Mary why he was never good enough for us, so I doubt he'll call here," Seth replied, truthfully.

"Where would Marshall go?" Jory asked.

"The possibilities are endless. Though he'd show up at all modes of transportation he could use to get back and forth. His office is checking his names and aliases they use for the job. Mary said she'd call back after talking to the car rental place. Let's hope they have a clue," Seth said.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Day four in Vegas and Marshall once again woke up worshiping the porcelain bowl. He was tired and feeling extremely old and worn down. Hope for Mary and him getting together was pretty much gone. He wasn't even sure he could maintain their friendship. Marshall knew things between them had gotten worse since her trip to Mexico. He couldn't help it. The thought sickened him and in some ways he thought less of her. It was a new level of low even for Mary.

Switching gears he thought of his father and brothers. His brothers were the perfect sons. They excelled in sports, social life and the Fugitive Task Force. They had both married and provided his parents with grandchildren. He was pretty sure they had an idea of which department he was in, but the words were never spoken. To them he had the cake walk job. If they only had a clue what it all entailed they might have sung a different tune. The fact was Marshall liked giving people a second chance to turn themselves around. Granted, on occasion it didn't work out so well, but that was part of the job. He felt it was more rewarding to see someone flourish in their second chance than to latch the cuffs on and put people away.

His Dad would never understand him; he accepted that a long time ago. It just irritated the hell out of him when he protected Aaron and Shane from hearing the truth and yelled at him. It had been that way his entire life and he was tired of it.

Trying to get that depressing thought of his life out of his mind, he turned his attention to his boss. Stan is where Marshall was torn. Mostly, he liked his boss. The sentiment of Mary's his best inspector was getting old. She followed her own rules and didn't think about the consequences to anyone else involved; especially him. Stan covered for her more times than he should have, but Marshall also knew that he wasn't aware of some of the things that Mary had done. Stan was the complication in his equation and he didn't know how to work it out. A part of him resented the double standards that applied at the office, they reminded him too much of his father.

He only had three more days before he had to head back to Albuquerque. He knew there would be a ton of questions, but personally he didn't feel any of them deserved an answer. If he was going to get through this, he needed to create distance between him and everyone else. It wouldn't hurt if he could stop caring. Deciding it was time for some fresh air, Marshall headed out. He was surprised to see that it was already night time.

Marshall stopped at a bar for several drinks before partially staggering down the street. He came to a stop in front of a church and decided to head in. Not being able to find his own answers he thought maybe some divine wisdom would come through. At this point, he just wanted an answer. Entering the doors, he noticed the church was empty. Taking a seat in the back row he stared at the lit candles in the front. Lost in his thoughts he never heard the door open.

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Father Gabe had come in to lock up the church. He was surprised to see a man sitting in a pew. In fact, the man reminded him of Marshall Mann. Heading over, to the man he laid his hand on the man's shoulder.

"Son, can I help you?"

Marshall startled at the hand and voice. He recognized the voice, but the alcohol was preventing him from making a connection.

"I doubt anyone can at this point, Father," Marshall replied, before looking up. His eyes opened in shock at the priest.

"Marshall," Father Gabe said, surprised. The young man's breath reeked of alcohol and his eyes were blood shot. This was nothing he'd ever expected from the marshal. "What brings you to my church?"

"Sorry, I didn't realize it was yours. I was just walking by before going back to my hotel," Marshall replied.

"Do you want me to call Mary? I can have her pick you up," Father Gabe offered. He didn't want Marshall wandering around in his current condition.

"No," Marshall said, adamantly. "She doesn't know I'm here. Really prefer to keep it that way too."

"Where are you supposed to be?" Father Gabe asked, confused. He assumed with the holiday Marshall was on assignment.

"Dallas, with my so-called family," Marshall mumbled.

"Can I call them and let them know you're here?" Father Gabe was fishing. Something was way off and he needed answers.

"No, I'm not interested in seeing anyone or having them knowing where I am. They won't care anyways. It's why I came in here. Thought maybe some wisdom from above could explain the answer to my question. Not getting anything though," Marshall shrugged.

"What question is it that you have?"

"Why I'm never good enough for anyone," Marshall said, explaining his theories behind this development.

"Could you be misinterpreting their meanings?" Father Gabe asked.

"Maybe Stan, but not the others. Stan might just be doing things to keep me around to help with Mary. I don't know what his angle is yet."

"You should try talking to them," Father Gabe replied.

"Yeah, that didn't go well either. Mary ran, my father yelled and defended my brothers. I think I'm right. Just isolate myself from them and I'll be fine. I'm done with all of it. Someone else can take over or they can just stay out of my life," Marshall said.

Gabe looked at Marshall and felt bad. All the reasoning in the world wouldn't break

through his alcohol induced haze.

"Why don't I lock up and drive you to your hotel."

"I don't want to put you out. I can get back on my own," Marshall said, before attempting to stand.

"I insist, Marshall," Father Gabe replied.

Locking up the church, he helped Marshall into the car and drove him to the hotel. Taking a good look at the place, he was more concerned about Marshall's state of mind. Calling it a dive was giving it a lot of credit.

"Thanks for the lift," Marshall said, reaching his hand out to shake Father Gabe's hand.

"My pleasure, Marshall. Call if you need anything. Take care of yourself," Father Gabe replied, as he watched Marshall stagger into his room. The second he saw the door close he pulled out his cell phone to place a call.

"McQueen."

"Stan, this is Father Gabe."

"Are you in danger? You need to get in touch with your local marshal office," Stan said, urgently.

"I'm fine, but I stumbled across a lost sheep that belongs to you."

"Marshall?" Stan asked.

"That would be the one," Father Gabe replied.

"Where is he? How is he?" Stan demanded.

"He's in Las Vegas at a hotel that I wouldn't recommend anyone to stay at. He's drunk, lost, hurt and confused."

"Can you give me the name of the hotel? I'll send Mary to pick Marshall up," Stan said.

"That would not be a wise choice. The only person that he may talk to is you. Mary and his family will send him deeper into the bottle. He seemed more confused by what to think about you. Either you wait this out or you come alone. Anything else might send Marshall spiraling even further down than he already is. Not sure what sent him down this path, but he is definitely questioning his worth."

"I'll come alone," Stan replied, trying to figure out how to lose Mary. "Thank you."

Mary came into the office as soon as she got off the phone and Stan hung up.

"I talked to the man at the rental agency. Marshall took a cab to a house, according to the cab driver. I called the house and the man stated Marshall bought a car. He's driving wherever he's going. I can put an A.P.B. out on the car. If they find him then we'll get a notice. There's no way he could've registered the car that quickly," Mary said, excited they had some information.

"There's no need for that," Stan replied.

"Who called you?" Mary asked.

"An old friend," Stan said.

"An old friend who knows where Marshall is?" Mary asked.

Stan rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'm going alone. From what my old friend said, it's the best solution. Marshall is apparently on the edge of linking me in with you and his family. Not sure exactly what that means, but he said if anyone other than me shows up and Marshall will dive deeper into the bottle. I know that you want to go, but for Marshall's sake, you need to stay here. Do you understand me?"

"That's not fair Stan. He's my partner," Mary fumed.

"Who currently thinks he's not good enough for you; that you look at him like something lesser than what he really is. You want to help Marshall; then let me go find him and try to talk to him. We need to get to the bottom of the problem, not make it worse."

"Can you at least tell me where he is?" Mary asked.

"No, because you'll ignore my warning and follow," Stan replied. "Call Seth, tell him that I know where Marshall is and I'm going to go talk to him."

Mary huffed but followed Stan's instructions for once.


	3. Chapter 3

Stan began the eight hour trek to Las Vegas. His mind kept going over his conversation with Father Gabe. He was trying to place anything he'd said or done that would have Marshall questioning his worth. The fact that he wanted to isolate himself from all of them didn't make Stan feel any better. The step after that would be Marshall asking for a transfer to another office. If they lost him now, they'd never get him back. It was the one thing Stan was sure of by his conversation with Father Gabe.

Stan knew the last couple of years had been rough on the partners, especially with everything that had happened to both of them. The question was, what finally pushed Marshall to the edge of his limits. It worried him that Marshall was trying to drink his problems away. This wasn't Marshall. That was something Mary would do. The more the questions popped up the harder his foot pushed down on the accelerator. A part of him wished he had flown to Las Vegas. It would have been much quicker. He just hoped Mary listened to him. If she showed up, he feared what the consequences would be.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary called Seth and told him what Stan had said. Then she went into Stan's office and hit the redial for the last number.

"Hello."

"Father Gabe?" Mary asked.

"Mary, what a surprise," Father Gabe answered, sarcastically. "Please tell me that you aren't on your way here."

"Stan banned me from going. I was just checking things out," Mary said.

"You were thinking of trying to find out where your partner is and make things worse for him by showing up," Father Gabe replied.

"I want to help, not make things worse. Did he come to you directly?" Mary asked. It wasn't like Marshall to seek out an old witness for several reasons.

"No, he found my church by accident. We were both surprised to see each other," Father Gabe replied. "I know you want to help him, but I'm pretty sure at this point you'll only make things worse. Give him time, Mary. The two of you are close, but something happened between the two of you and I'm thinking you know what it was."

"I always knew you were wise. How bad is he?" Mary asked.

"He was drunk when he was here and I have a feeling, that this is how he's been for most of his stay. He's staying in a place that I would feel better if he wasn't. I doubt he'll meander back my way. I told him to call me if he needed to talk, but don't expect that to happen. You're more than likely going to have to deal with a side of your partner that you've never seen before, at least until he can clearly think things through."

"You sound pretty sure of that," Mary said.

"I've seen people go down this path before, Mary. I wouldn't have expected it of Marshall, but I have a feeling he keeps a lot to himself."

"You're sure it's a bad idea for me to go talk to him?"

"Mary, if you want to have any kind of relationship with Marshall then you'll stay away. I gathered it was a combination of many things that festered together at once. If any of those things come face to face with him the result could be disastrous. You push, you'll lose him. That has always been my experience in these cases."

"Thanks," Mary said, before hanging up.

She trusted Father Gabe's opinion more than most. Something about the man had always told her he was good at helping others. Even as a bartender he listened to others and guided them. The fact that he knew that she had done something to Marshall was a glowing example. The problem is how to fix trampling on someone's heart by hooking up with a person they couldn't stand. Marshall scared her with what he was saying. She ran like she always did. Mary had taken Faber with her for one purpose only. Marshall knew full well that the only reason she'd take Faber on the trip was for sex. Hell like it wasn't obvious with Faber there when Marshall called. Was that the final straw for her partner? Faber was fun and simple. That is what she was looking for, wasn't she? Marshall was more permanent and non disposable; she wasn't ready for that, was she? The questions were giving Mary a headache.

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Stan finally arrived in Las Vegas. Driving to the hotel, he understood Father Gabe's concern. Seedy would be giving the hotel a compliment. After getting out of his car, he went up to the door and knocked. When Marshall opened the door Stan was glad that he'd come. Marshall's eyes were bloodshot, his stance was wobbly at best, his hair was disheveled and his clothes were a disaster.

"Marshall."

"What are you doing here?" Marshall asked.

"You have a lot of people concerned since your disappearance on Christmas Eve," Stan replied. Honesty for now was the best policy.

"Why? Worried I might find another way to not measure up?" Marshall asked.

"Can I come in?" Stan asked ignoring the anger in Marshall's voice.

"Don't worry I'll be perfectly sober when I return to work. You can go back and say you did your good deed of the day," Marshall replied.

"I'm not leaving until we talk. We can do it out in the open or we can do this in your room. Your choice," Stan said firmly.

Marshall rolled his eyes, but moved to the side to let Stan in. Stan noticed the empty whisky bottles piled up in the garbage can right away. His eyes then began to scan the rest of the room taking in the stains on the carpet, and ceiling, the dead bolt to the room was hanging limply by the door, the room had a stench he couldn't describe and the drapes had holes in them. The furniture had to be left over from the sixties at the earliest and was covered with scratches. Everything about the place screamed seedy. The only positive thinghe could find was the coffee maker. Stan moved over to it and started a pot. The second the coffee was done he poured it into the Styrofoam cup and handed it to Marshall.

"Drink this, and then we'll talk," Stan ordered.

Marshall wanted to protest, but if he did, it would prolong Stan's visit.

"Happy now?" Marshall asked, finishing the cup of coffee.

"No, I'm not happy. You want to tell me what's wrong?" Stan asked.

"There's nothing to say," Marshall replied.

"Bullshit, Marshall. You're in a hotel that even our office wouldn't put you up at. you ran away from your family on Christmas Eve, spent most of the week hammered, your clothes are rumpled, you haven't shaven, and you look like death warmed over. Don't lie to me and say that there's nothing wrong. Something is _very_ wrong. What did you mean when you asked Mary why you were never good enough? That seems to be the center of the problem," Stan said, heatedly.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I know what I need to do," Marshall replied.

"What exactly is that?" Stan asked.

"I'll be at work and do my job. You have nothing to worry about," Marshall said.

"I have plenty to worry about with you, right now. This isn't how you behave and it has a whole hell of a lot of people worried. Just talk to me, Marshall. Let me help you," Stan pushed a little harder.

"I don't need your help. I'll be at work when I'm supposed to and I'll do _my _job and _my_ job _only_," Marshall replied.

"What does that mean?" Stan asked, confused.

"It means I'm done being Mary's secretary, punching bag and person who keeps her in line. Keeping her in line is your responsibility, not mine. Since she's your best inspector that shouldn't be too hard, should it? I'll protect her back on assignments like I've always done. I'll be her partner, but that's it."

Stan was taken back with the venom with which Marshall stated his words. The words were running through his head as he struggled to put enough of it together to reply. Before he could speak Marshall walked by and opened the door.

"Thanks for stopping by. I'll see you on Monday," Marshall said, waiting for Stan to leave.

"This conversation isn't over," Stan insisted.

"I'm on vacation, Stan. I don't have to listen or speak to you. This is my personal time and I'm telling you that I don't want to spend it talking to you. Leave or I'll call the police," Marshall said, adamantly.

"I'll go for now, but I'll be back tomorrow. Could you at least get a better hotel? This one doesn't look safe," Stan replied.

"No need to return. I'm fine where I am," Marshall said, shutting the door as Stan finally exited the room.

Stan stared at the closed door. He didn't really want to stay at this hotel, but he wasn't leaving Marshall on his own. Stan at least had his gun. Walking to the front he got the room next to Marshall's.

Lying on top of the bed he listened to Marshall's room. Not hearing anything, he called Mary.

"Did you find him?" Mary asked, eagerly.

"I found him," Stan replied.

Mary heard the concern in Stan's voice.

"What happened?"

"If I don't get him out of the funk he's in, things are going to be unpleasant in the office," Stan said.

"What exactly did he say?" Mary asked.

Stan repeated what they had said. "I'm not sure what to think. The only thing I'm sure of is that I don't know the Marshall that is in that room."

"Great, so what do we do?" Mary asked.

"We see what happens when he sobers up and if that doesn't do the trick then I think his family and all of us need to talk to him," Stan said.

"An intervention?"

"Call it whatever you want, but I want the Marshall we know back," Stan said. "Let's just give him a little time to work things out. With any luck, he'll talk to us."

"Are you staying tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm not comfortable leaving him alone right now," Stan replied.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary finally went home that night, but couldn't sleep. Her mind was playing over everything that had been said to her. She should've known that there would be consequences to her seeing Faber. Marshall wasn't going to let it go. She had a feeling she'd just lost her only friend. It pissed her off. Marshall didn't have the right to interfere in her personal life. It was her life to do as she pleased.

Beating her pillow to take out more of her frustrations, she finally settled down for the night. It took her a couple of hours, but her body gave into the exhaustion.

Two hours later, Mary shot up in bed.

"Marshall!"

Her body was sweaty and her pulse was racing. Marshall was gone. She couldn't find him anywhere. She scoured everywhere looking for him. Then just before she woke up she found him bloody and bleeding lying on a couch in an old gas station. He didn't survive this time.

Not thinking she grabbed her phone and dialed his number. She waited for him to pick up for a few minutes, until it dawned on her that he wouldn't be picking up. He wasn't using his normal phone.

"Damn it, Marshall," Mary said, to her empty bedroom.

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The following morning, Marshall woke up sick to his stomach again. Once he emptied the contents out and felt strong enough he gathered some clothes and took a shower. He assumed Stan would be stopping by again. It was time to start sobering up and putting distance between him, his family and everyone at the office.

Marshall stared in the mirror for a long time. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to see when he looked at himself. Somehow he felt like he lost himself somewhere over the last several years. The reflection staring back at him wasn't anyone he knew. But the only thing he knew about the man he saw was that somehow he wasn't enough for everyone who knew him.

The knock on the door pulled his attention away from the thoughts plaguing his mind. Heading to the door he pulled it open to see Stan standing with coffee and doughnuts.

"Marshall."

"Stan."

"May I come in?"

Marshall reluctantly stepped aside. Stan handed him the coffee and bag of doughnuts as he walked past.

"How much do I owe you?" Marshall asked.

"A conversation will do nicely," Stan replied.

"I thought we had that last night," Marshall said.

"No, we barely got started before you threw me out," Stan replied, watching to see for any sign of remorse. The lack of reaction caused Stan to worry more.

"What else would you like to talk about?" Marshall asked.

"Everything, starting with what sent you into this downward spiral, why you think you're not good enough for anyone and your comments about just being Mary's partner and nothing more. I'd also like to know exactly where I fit into this whole scenario you've worked out in your head," Stan said.

"Let's just say I finally came to a few cold hard truths lately. I am who I am and that's all I can be. As far as Mary's concerned, I'm her partner period. We're not friends, just partners. I won't be bailing her family out of anymore troubles unless it specifically has to do with our office. They aren't witnesses and I won't waste my free time trying to help them. If you and Mary want to, by all means feel free, but don't think I'll be a part of it. I'm tired of being on a one way street with her. I'm not around to be kicked at or played with. It all ends now. As far as you're concerned, you're my boss and I'll do what you order me to do, unless it isn't WITSEC related. That would be infringing on my free time. My life is mine and I'm done giving it up freely to those around me. From now on, I'll do what's best for me. If you have an issue with that, transfer me out," Marshall said.

"I'm not transferring you, Marshall," Stan replied, adamantly.

"Fine, then I'll be heading home tomorrow and back to work on Monday. I'll see you then."

"Marshall, you still haven't told me what caused this change. Was it the fight between you and your family? They're worried about you. They called me, looking for you."

"That's between me and my family. I'll call my Mom later," Marshall replied.

"It isn't just between you and them. We spent a great deal of time trying to find you because we all care about you. This change in behavior has all of us worried. You lumped us into whatever happened with them," Stan said.

"I'm sorry that you wasted your holiday time, but really I'm on vacation and there was no need for concern unless I didn't show up on Monday," Marshall replied.

Stan could see the protective layers Marshall was building up between them already. They weren't getting anywhere, and he was afraid if he stayed the walls would get higher and impenetrable.

"I don't consider worrying about you a waste of my time. Don't shut us out, Marshall. We want to help," Stan said, sincerely.

"Then leave me alone," Marshall replied.

"I'll see you on Monday," Stan said.

After leaving Marshall's room, Stan climbed into the SUV and stared back at the room. He needed to think about everything that was said, and he also needed to talk to Marshall's Mom. She was the one he said he'd talk to. Maybe she could give them an idea on how to handle Marshall. With that last thought he put the vehicle into reverse and headed back to Albuquerque, hoping that somewhere along the way he'd find an answer to fixing the problem.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Jory and Rachel were sitting in the living room. Jory noticed the way Rachel kept staring at Marshall's presents. She wished there was a way to make this all better.

"I'm sorry," Jory said, softly.

Rachel looked up. "It's not your fault. It's been coming for years."

"Marshall was tense when he arrived. Shane should've picked up on it. I could've said something to him to try and get him to back off. I should have said something years ago. I honestly hadn't expected Marshall to blow up. I don't blame him for it though. In some ways it was nice to see him take a stand. Shane and Aaron need to think before they speak," Jory replied.

"I have a feeling there's more to it then just what happened here. Marshall usually lets things roll off his back, and I think we've just gotten used to it. He's hurting and I can't help him. He should be here with us and I've got no clue what to expect. I knew one day Marshall would finally yell at them, but I hadn't expected Seth to step in. I know he was just trying to prevent a fight before the holidays, but Marshall didn't see it that way. They have become so far estranged. Seth realized it in Albuquerque. I was hoping they could work on their relationship this year," Rachel said, sadly.

Jory felt bad for her mother-in-law. Marshall was her favorite in many aspects. Not that she loved Shane or Aaron less, but Marshall was closer to her. This was tearing her up. For the first time, Shane got a dose of his own medicine. It was funny how having some of your own mistakes thrown back at you made you realize words weren't as harmless as you had thought. Placing a hand on her stomach, Jory hoped they could fix this. She didn't want her baby to not know his or her Uncle Marshall. They would miss out on a wonderful human being. The ringing of the phone interrupted her thoughts.

"I'll get it."

"Relax, while you can, Jory," Rachel said, getting up to grab the phone.

"Hello."

"Hi, Mom."

"Marshall, where are you honey?" Rachel asked.

"I'm safe. I just needed you to know that. There's no need to worry. I'll be back at work on Monday."

"Marshall Ryan Mann, do not tell me that there's nothing to worry about. You spent Christmas alone and I know for a fact you were drunk. That isn't you. Your dad and brothers would like to talk to you," Rachel said.

"I've got nothing left to say. I won't be coming to Dad's party and I'm not sure when or if I'll be coming home again. I just wanted you to know that I was okay. I love you, Mom," Marshall said, hanging up.

"Marshall. Marshall." Rachel called out knowing he wouldn't answer.

Jory heard the fear in her mother-in-law's voice. "What's wrong?"

Rachel's tear streaked face turned towards her and Jory's heart ached for the woman as she explained what Marshall had said. Rachel excused herself and headed upstairs. Jory waited in the living room for the men and children to return. Half an hour passed when the door opened and the objects of her ire walked into the room.

"Hey, honey," Shane said.

"Children, go downstairs and play," Jory said.

Seth, Aaron and Shane all could tell she was angry. Jory waited till the children were out of the room.

"What's wrong?" Tess asked.

"Marshall called," Jory replied.

"Is he okay?" Seth asked.

"No he's not. The three of you better plan on making a trip to Albuquerque to do some major groveling and apologizing," Jory said, explaining what Marshall said.

"Where's my wife?" Seth asked, worried.

"Upstairs crying. Now thanks to the three of you. She's wondering when or if she'll ever see her son again. I hope you're proud of yourselves," Jory said, heading up the stairs.

"It's not our fault he's so freaking sensitive," Aaron said, looking at his wife.

"No, he's not. If Marshall was he would've blown up a long time ago. It is, however, your fault that you're insensitive to him. You know it bothers him, but when he turns the table on you, then suddenly it's not okay. You're lucky enough to have a kind and caring brother, a relationship with whom you blew it by behaving like a complete an utter ass," Tess replied heatedly, as she walked past them and up the stairs

"Dad," Aaron said, noticing the look on his face. "You okay?"

"No, I'm not," Seth said, before heading into his office.

"Well this is turning out to be one lousy holiday," Aaron said.

"How do you think it's been for Marshall?" Shane replied, as everything started to really sink in.


	4. Chapter 4

Stan drove straight from Las Vegas to Mary's house. They needed to sit down and talk. Mary was in for a rude awakening when Marshall arrived to work on Monday. Knocking on the door, Stan saw Mary's excited face.

"Where's Marshall?"

"Still in Vegas. He'll be coming home tomorrow and back to work on Monday. You and I need to have a long talk," Stan said, firmly.

"You talked to him and things are back to normal," Mary shrugged.

"Things aren't even close to normal," Stan replied. "You need to prepare for Marshall to treat you as a partner only." Stan explained the conversation that passed between him and Marshall.

"You left him there in that shape? What the hell, Stan?"

"I don't like it either. When we're done here I'm going to talk to his Mother. She seems to be the only person he trusts now. You're going to need to give him time to work things out. He's building up walls to shut us out and I'm not sure pushing him is the right approach. The more I tried the higher his defenses went. Don't aggravate him or push him to far. I have a feeling he won't have a problem telling you where to go," Stan said.

"Stan, seriously, this is Marshall we're talking about," Mary said, refusing to believe that Marshall was that troubled.

"No Mary, this isn't Marshall. You need to understand that you're not dealing with the Marshall you know. I don't want you fighting with him or doing something to set him off. We need time to figure out how to fix this," Stan cautioned.

"I'll try to behave," Mary said.

"You need to do more than try. Until we find out what the catalyst is, we won't know how to deal with everything. If he doesn't straighten out, I'll call the department shrink in," Stan said, before getting up to leave.

"He'll be fine, Stan. He has to be," Mary whispered the last phrase.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Rachel came out of her bedroom and headed downstairs. When she reached the bottom step she saw Aaron and Shane talking in the living room.

"Where's your father?" Rachel asked.

"He went into his office and hasn't come out. Are you okay?" Aaron asked, knowing it was a stupid question.

"No, I'm not. Could you please explain to me why the two of you seem to feel the need to belittle your brother every chance you get?"

"We were just teasing, Mom. It's not like it's anything new," Aaron replied.

"That's the problem," Shane said. "You bristled at his comment about your old dating life. If Dad hadn't stepped in you would've said something hurtful back. The same way I was thinking of retaliating. Neither of us considered how it made him feel. The problem is that in the past Marshall usually ignored it. We both know that Marshall hit us with the truth. We don't have a clue what's really happening in his life, because we've never bothered to take a vested interest. I'm not saying you or I don't care about him, but we don't ever show him that. Instead, we tease and ride him hard on anything and everything. It's a sort of amusement for us, which for Marshall isn't very amusing."

"His job is every bit as dangerous as ours, if not more so," Seth said, entering into the conversation. "Everything that Marshall said in the kitchen was true. Now, we may not get the chance to see him again because of our actions."

The phone rang interrupting their conversation.

"Mann residence."

"Seth? This is Stan."

"How's Marshall?" Seth asked, worried.

"Not good. He's pushing all of us away. Is Rachel there? She seems to be the only one, to whom Marshall doesn't feel animosity. I would like to get her opinion on how to respond to Marshall. Nothing that I've used so far is working," Stan replied.

"Rachel, Stan would like to talk to you about Marshall," Seth said, handing her the phone.

"Stan, how's my son? I know he's upset, but how is he holding up?" Rachel asked, unable keep the worry from her voice.

"He's building up walls and pushing everyone away. I was wondering if you might have any suggestions for dealing with this side of Marshall."

"Marshall's never behaved like this before. I'm not sure how to deal with it," Rachel relayed her conversation with Marshall.

"I was thinking of giving him some space and if things don't improve, making him meet with the departmental shrink to try and work through whatever this is," Stan replied.

"Whatever you do, don't force him or push his buttons. I'm not sure how he'd react. The boys pushed him too hard here and it sent him running. If he runs from there, I'm worried where he'd go," Rachel said.

"That's what I was thinking also. We'll see what we can do on our end," Stan replied.

"Please keep us informed on what's happening with Marshall. If you need me, I can fly out there," Rachel said.

"I'll call if we need reinforcements," Stan said before hanging up.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan made sure to arrive at the office early on Monday. Not knowing exactly what to expect from Marshall, he braced for the worse. Marshall swiped himself in while balancing his coffee and a bag in one hand.

Marshall nodded at Stan and moved to turn on his computer right away. He took out his breakfast and began to look through his e-mail. Stan watched him, but other than not bringing the rest of them coffee and breakfast nothing was out of the ordinary. He was hoping that meant the storm had passed. His hopes were dashed when Mary entered the office.

"Doofus, welcome back," Mary said, walking towards her desk.

Marshall decided to ignore her. He had a name and until she used it he wouldn't answer her.

Mary noted he didn't answer her and was ignoring her while working on his computer. She tried several more times before getting irritable.

"Marshall, are you alive over there?"

"Is there something I can help you with Inspector Shannon?"

"What the hell? Inspector Shannon? I have a name you know," Mary said, irritably.

"So do I, but you seem to have a hard time recalling it," Marshall replied.

"Fine, Marshall. I was just welcoming you back," Mary said, looking at Stan who was watching the incident play out.

"Thank you, Mary. Is there anything that I need to know about my witnesses?"

"No, they're fine." Mary couldn't even recall the last time Marshall used her full name.

"Alright," Marshall replied, as he started to shift through the paperwork on his desk.

Mary kept casting glances Marshall's way all morning. He hadn't said a word to her unless it was work related. She was getting ready to scream. At lunch time Marshall grabbed a bunch of files and sorted them into two piles. Standing up he walked over and dropped the second pile into her inbox.

"I believe you put your reports in with mine. You'll need to fill them out," Marshall said. He then took the remaining files and placed them into Stan's inbox.

Stan watched Mary's facial expression and knew she was pissed. He also looked into Marshall's eyes when he walked in to make sure he hadn't been drinking before coming into work.

"Here are the completed files you needed. I'm going to lunch and then check on my witnesses. I'll be out the rest of the day, unless you need me to come back for something," Marshall said.

"No, that's fine," Stan replied. He watched Marshall leave the office and hoped he would ask Mary to join him. Instead, Marshall grabbed his coat and keys and headed for the elevator.

"Hey, Marshall, wait up," Mary called out. "I'll come with you."

"No, thank you. I've got lunch plans," Marshall said, getting into the elevator.

Stunned, Mary watched the doors close. Angrily she turned and stormed into Stan's office.

"You need to do something. This is ridiculous. I want my Marshall back," Mary demanded.

"I warned you about this," Stan reminded Mary while picking up the phone. He wanted Shelly's opinion on Marshall's behavior. "Shelly Finkle, please."

"The shrink already?" Mary asked.

"Just as an observation. I'll bring her here under different pretenses and see what she thinks. I can't force him to see her. He hasn't done anything that would deem it necessary," Stan shrugged.

Mary threw her arms in the air and went back to her desk to fill out her paperwork that Marshall refused to do.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

A week had passed: Mary was beyond frustrated. Marshall refused to do anything with her unless it was necessary. He barely said a word to her at all in the office. The one day they had a witness transport he hadn't mentioned any trivia, answering only work related questions or those asked by the witness. Her patience was at the end of its rope. It was a miracle she had lasted this long. Shelley had been absolutely useless, telling them what they already knew. Marshall was hurting and shutting them out, but unless she could actually talk to him about it, she couldn't diagnose him. Mary couldn't believe she needed a degree to be able to tell them that.

Mary watched Marshall leave again before her. Looking at Stan, she didn't care about the promise. Nothing was changing except Marshall was slipping further and further away from them. It was time for them to have a talk.

"I'm leaving, Stan. I'll see you tomorrow," Mary said, heatedly.

"What are you up to?" Stan wasn't stupid.

"We're losing him, Stan. This sitting around trying to give him time isn't working. I'm going to go talk to him about what's going on. I can't fix the problems between his Dad and his brothers, but I'm not going to sit by and let him destroy our partnership," Mary replied.

Stan wanted to argue with her, but he couldn't. Marshall was completely professional, but totally impersonal. His behavior in the field and office were within departmental guidelines. The problem was that wasn't who Marshall was.

"Let me know what happens," Stan said.

Mary nodded and skipped the elevator to rush down the stairs. She wasn't waiting any longer for this conversation to take place.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall pulled into his driveway and went inside his house with a heavy heart. The answering machine was blinking again. It had been that way every night since he returned from Las Vegas. The messages were usually from his Mom, Dad, Aaron, and Shane. Jory and Tess left a few messages asking to call just so they knew he was okay. They told them to call their cell phones; that way he wouldn't have to deal with his brothers if he didn't want to.

Marshall knew if he called back they'd apologize and say they'd try to change. Things never changed with his brothers or Dad though. He knew it wouldn't last long and once again he'd become the object of ridicule. It was something he couldn't do anymore. Heading towards his bedroom he decided to change before listening to the messages.

Marshall came back out in a faded pair of jeans and a tee-shirt. Rolling his eyes he hit play on the answering machine.

"Marshall, this is Dad. Please call and talk to us. I know that you're upset, but your Mother and I are both worried about you." Marshall hit delete and played the next message. "Hey little brother, it's Shane. I get why you're mad and I'm sorry. Please call me when you get this. We need to talk about what happened." Marshall hit delete and figured he knew the last one was from Aaron. "Marshall, it's Aaron. Please call me. We need to discuss what happened Christmas Eve."

"What exactly did happen on Christmas Eve?" Mary asked.

Marshall turned around startled. He'd been engrossed in the messages and his own thoughts about them that he never heard Mary enter the house.

"None of your business. What are you doing here?" Marshall asked, angrily.

"Making it my business. Whatever happened catapulted you into a funk that doesn't seem to be disappearing. I want my partner and best friend back," Mary replied.

"Miss your own personal secretary, is that it? I'm not doing your paperwork and what we had wasn't friendship, Mary. It was a one way street. You were the driver and I was just along for the ride. I kept giving and you kept taking. You never gave a crap about me. I was just the person you could rely on to pick up all of your messes. When did you ever do anything for me? I was blind to think that somewhere along the way you might actually figure out what friendship is all about. It's a two way street. Each person willing to be what the other one needs. I'm done being used."

"Is that what our problem is or is this because I've been seeing Faber?" Mary asked.

"Ah, Faber, the next mess waiting to happen in your life. The better question is will this one roll over into work too? I freely admit I don't like or trust the man. But, it's your personal life. If you want to continually lower your standard, that's your choice also. I will admit I'm disappointed in you, which shouldn't come as a surprise. I thought you were finally starting to grow when you realized that taking Raph back would be a huge mistake. Who knew you could stoop lower than Eps? I never thought that would be possible. But you started seeing Faber. He played you and you bought into it. When it blows up in your face, you'll have to deal with the fallout on your own. I'm done with you." Marshall tried to keep the contempt out of his voice.

"I wasn't played Marshall," Mary bit out.

"Uh-huh. Let me see if I can guess how it went down. Somewhere along the way he mentioned his father and how their relationship sucked, or that he was turning into the old man. Using people is something that Faber is good at. You and I both witnessed that first hand. He finds their weakness and exploits them. Faber then comes to Albuquerque and plays the Daddy card again. He either used his own father or the fact that he is a Dad. Brings a picture of or drawn by said child and shows it to you or shows you a picture of him and his Dad when things were good. What did you tell several of your witnesses over the years about men who bring up kids to get what they want? Everyone that's ever met you knows you have Daddy issues. All he had to do is read your file to figure that out. He wanted you from day one and he found the right hand to play. Did you question any of his motives Mary? He's with the F.B.I., who has been after your father for years. Faber comes along just as Brandi brings your step brother home for a visit. What would it do for his career to catch your Dad? He keeps requesting you for his witnesses, in order to get closer to you. You let him get as close to you as two humans can. How long before his true motives come out? For an inspector, you have a huge blind spot when it comes to fathers. Did you even think or were you just looking to be the cowboy again? How long before you tangle Stan into the mess when Faber goes after your father? How much WITSEC funds will you waste trying to fix another Shannon family disaster?"

Mary fought back the tears that wanted to come. Marshall's words were hurtful. She wondered now what Marshall really thought about her.

"Where do you get off lecturing me on Daddy issues? You ran away from your entire family at Christmas?" Mary lashed out.

"I don't have any false illusions about my Dad or my place in my family. I know exactly where I stand. I'm the mistake that was born. The son that _was_ never and _will_ never be good enough. My job isn't dangerous enough. I should move to a major metropolitan area so I can experience the cruelties of life first hand and possibly get moved up into the chain of command. Oh wait, that won't happen because I'm not tough enough to do a job like that. No, I took the cakewalk job as far as they're all concerned. If it's not the job I failed at, it's my personal life. I'm not married and don't have kids to carry on the family name. I'm the biggest disgrace that ever carried the Mann name. We have no hidden issues Mary; they're perfectly out in the open. I'm sure they'd be happier if I hadn't been born."

Mary felt the anger fade and her heart ache for Marshall. He actually believed the words that he just spoke.

"The world would be a far less happy place without you in it. You're parents love you, Marshall. They called us looking for you. Your Dad and brothers drove around searching for you, and then went into your Dad's office trying to track you down. No one regrets your existence in this world," Mary said, calmly.

"I'm sure they just did that because Mom was upset. It's the same reason they keep calling. Mom won't let it go until peace is restored. I'm done being the one who gives everything and gets nothing. I'm tired of dealing with all the crap from everyone. I'm not going to be the peacemaker this time. I'm better off on my own. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go to sleep tonight," Marshall replied, dismissing Mary.

Mary headed towards the door, but stopped before walking out. She turned and looked at Marshall.

"You're wrong about all of us. We care a great deal about you. Yes, occasionally we do something to hurt you, but it's never been intentional. We're all human and we make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes don't backfire on us, but on those around us, like you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I make bad decisions sometimes, but it's my way of protecting me." Mary closed the door hoping that Marshall would think on her reply. She knew there was a lot for her to think about.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan waited by the phone impatiently for Mary to call. He never thought he'd miss the shenanigans his two inspectors did at work. Marshall who rarely talked was uncomfortable for everyone. Before his thoughts could go any further his cell phone vibrated.

"Well?" Stan asked.

"We've got major issues. They're stemming from all sorts of things. I think everything that's happened both personally and professionally have all meshed into one," Mary replied, explaining what was said, minus the Faber items. That was between her and Marshall.

"Marshall needs to talk to us," Stan said. "Let me talk to his parents and see if we can work something out."

"Alright, I'm headed back to the office. Maybe we can all brainstorm on how to get through to him," Mary replied.

"Where are you?"

"I'll be there in about ten minutes," Mary said.

"I'll wait until you're here before calling," Stan replied, hanging up he set the conference room to make the call.

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Marshall lay in his room staring at the ceiling. Mary's words were swirling in his mind. One part of his mind was telling him that Mary might have had a point that he was overreacting. The other part of him was tired of being the doormat for everyone.

Thinking about the people in his life, he tried to categorize them. He really didn't have a problem with Jory, Tess or his Mother. None of them were responsible for their husbands' actions. He knew that Jory was trying to change the topic before he blew up. Stan he was still unsure of. Mary, Seth, Aaron and Shane on the other hand were the biggest part of the problem.

Seth, Aaron and Shane could be lumped into one problem. Aaron and Shane took after Seth. Marshall was his mother's son. They would never respect what he does for a living because he couldn't tell them what he did and he knew full well that they would always think his job was much easier than theirs. His parents had hoped that he would be married by now, and that didn't appear like it would be happening anytime soon, if ever. He was particular about the kind of woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and wouldn't settle for less. His Dad and brothers just assumed he wasn't able to get dates because he was a geek. He never bothered to defend himself because they would just find some other character flaw.

Last was Mary, he was still in love with her and hated himself for it. His opinion of her had plummeted since he discovered that she'd been with Faber. He couldn't lie to him or her about that. The words spoken earlier tonight were the truth. He could overlook Faber if he thought it would make Mary happy. But he was confident it would backfire.

She might even care about Marshall like she said, but her way of showing it seemed to leave him more scarred than anything else. He was serious about the one sidedness of their friendship. He was equally to blame for that. A part of him questioned if she would still be his friend, now that he stopped doing her work for her. They couldn't go back and they were not moving forward. He could be her partner at work, but nothing more. He seemed to be stuck in a dead end street with no way out.

Starting tomorrow, he'd find things to do to keep him occupied. He would take more classes at the University, maybe make new friends and start looking for someone who would be good for him. If that didn't work he'd just find more hobbies to take up his time. Having decided that, he fell asleep, only to continually be woken up by nightmares.


	5. Chapter 5

Stan saw Mary exit the elevator and signaled for her to come into the conference room. He had Seth and Rachel on speaker phone.

"Seth, Mary's here and can relay the conversation she had with Marshall," Stan said.

Mary retold what Marshall had said. She skimmed through her part without mentioning Faber's name. She heard his mother gasp at the statement about it being better if Marshall hadn't been born.

"We need to get him to a place where we can talk to him without him running away or kicking us out," Mary said, firmly.

"Seth's retirement party," Rachel said. "Marshall won't want to cause a scene and it would give us a chance to talk to him. If you could show up towards the end we could talk to him then."

"Rachel's right. Marshall was taught to behave in a public place and wouldn't cause a scene. It might be the only chance we have to let me explain what happened," Seth said.

"What exactly did happen?" Mary asked, remembering Marshall hadn't answered her.

Rachel went over the conversations that had happened in the three days.

"What the hell?" Mary asked. "Seth, I know you don't understand your son, but why on earth didn't you speak up during the three days he was being harassed?"

"An error in judgment on my part, I freely admit. I just didn't want an argument ruining Christmas. What exactly is your part in all of this, Mary? I know it was more than what happened here," Seth replied.

Mary didn't want to admit what she had finally realized. Right now though, if they wanted to help Marshall she would have to tell them the truth. They needed all the facts.

"I broke his heart," Mary said, softly.

Stan closed his eyes at that part. He knew it was true, but hearing Mary admit it was alarming in some sense. For her to say it aloud told him exactly how bad her conversation with Marshall was.

"Marshall's still dealing with his guilt issues from Mary's shooting, combine that with her kidnapping, near rape, Marshall's shooting and all the words spoken, he just hit his limit of what he could tolerate. Marshall buries a lot of his own hurt inside. We've all seen it. He puts the needs of others before his own, and how often do any of us ask him what he needs? We'll get him to the retirement party even if I have to cuff him to a chair. He's not leaving until he'd heard us out," Stan said.

"When is the retirement party?" Mary asked.

"The last weekend in March," Rachel replied.

"Two months," Mary said.

"Would it help if I came out?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know. You're the only one I know of, whom he trusts, but he could take it as you trying to play peacemaker. Why don't we see how much worse it gets before we call in for reinforcements?" Stan said.

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Mary and Stan struggled with the situation with Marshall for the first half of the following week. Neither one could get him to say anything unless it was about work. The silence in the office was deafening. Stan received a call on Wednesday for his inspectors to pick up a new witness in Denver. Stan wanted to have them transfer the witness elsewhere. The last thing they needed was Marshall dealing with Faber. While the witness wasn't his, there was no way they wouldn't run into him.

"Inspectors, my office," Stan called out. He watched as they both sat down. Mary continually tried to catch Marshall's eye or get him to talk to her. Nothing was working. He knew what he was about to say would add fuel to the fire. He sent up a quick prayer to any higher being that would listen, to please cut them some slack and not make things worse.

"The D.O.J. just called. You have a new witness to pick up in Denver. Special Agent Wilson of the F.B.I. is in charge of the case. You have two hours to prepare before you need to be on the road," Stan said.

"Why are we driving? If we fly we can get in and out in no time flat," Mary asked.

"It's believed that the arms dealer has several connections at various airports. So far every time they've moved the witness by plane they've run into trouble within a few weeks of the transfer," Stan replied.

"I'll run the threat assessment and route possibilities. We'll need to know what the weather forecast is also," Marshall said.

"I'll check that," Mary replied.

Marshall nodded in agreement.

"Here's the file on the witness," Stan said, handing them the information.

Marshall took it and headed out to his computer. Mary got up slowly.

"Mary, I need you to consider Marshall on this trip. Don't do anything that will further complicate the situation. Do I make myself clear?" Stan asked.

"I'm not stupid, Stan. I'll stay away from Faber and do my best to keep him away from Marshall. I want to get in and out of there without further damaging our chances of fixing things with Marshall," Mary replied.

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Mary was beyond frustrated at this point. They had been on the road for four and half hours and not a peep out of Marshall. She couldn't take it anymore.

"For the love of Pete, would you say something? This is ridiculous. We have two more hours to go and you haven't said any trivia, history lesson, anything and I can't take the silence," Mary said, glaring at Marshall.

Marshall reached out to turn the radio on and returned his attention back to the road. Mary stared at him in disbelief. Angrily, she shut it off. Fine, she'd make him talk yet.

"Go over the plan for the trip home with me again," Mary said, frustrated.

"Which one?" Marshall asked.

"Which one do you think is best?"

"We need to travel back a different route than the one we came. I'm leaning towards cutting into Kansas through Oklahoma and into Texas. If we need to stop overnight we can stay in Amarillo. Then drive from Amarillo back to Albuquerque. It's twice as long time wise and not something that they would expect us to do," Marshall replied.

"We're going to need to stop. I doubt the witness has had any time to sleep. She'll need to crash at some point and so will we. If all goes well in Denver we should be able to get out in an hour. Stan was going to have them get the paperwork done by the time we arrive. If that happens we might make it out in a half hour. Which would put us in Amarillo around when?" Mary asked.

"Between midnight and one," Marshall said. "Albuquerque is a little over four hours from there."

Mary nodded and Marshall stopped talking again. Two hours later they were at the Denver F.B.I. building. Mary hoped Faber was out of the office today.

Her hopes were dashed the second they stepped out of the elevator.

"Kitten, missed me already?" Faber smiled brightly. "You brought your sidekick."

Mary could've decked him. "I brought my _partner_. Where is Special Agent Wilson?"

"In the conference room. Why don't you join them Marshall? I'll bring Mary by later."

"Where's the conference room?" Marshall asked.

Faber gave him directions and Marshall headed towards the room. Mary glared at Faber and began to follow Marshall.

"Kitten, your partner can get the information. Come join me for a cup of coffee. We can plan our next get together," Faber said, eagerly.

"I'm working and we're trying to get out of here in a hurry. Now if you don't mind and even if you do mind, I need to go with Marshall," Mary replied, walking away from Faber.

Mary could see the tension in Marshall's shoulders as she walked in a few minutes after he did.

"Are we ready to leave?" Mary asked, hoping to get out before Faber tried to hit on her again.

"This is Inspector Sheppard, my partner," Marshall said, introducing Mary to Special Agent Wilson.

"The paperwork is ready. Wendy, these two marshals will be taking you to a safe location. If you need anything, go through your inspectors and they'll let me know. The D.O.J. will prep you when we get closer to the trial date." Special Agent Wilson informed her before turning toward Mary and Marshall. "She's all yours. Have a safe trip."

Mary, Marshall and Wendy exited the conference room and were headed to the elevators when Faber stepped in with them.

"I was thinking we could do lunch while you're in town," Faber said.

"You were thinking wrong," Mary replied. "Which part of the fact that I'm on the clock do you _not_ understand?"

"Fine, I get it. Back off, my mistake," Faber said as the elevator doors opened to the parking garage. "Call me when you're not on the clock."

Mary rolled her eyes and held out her hand for the keys. She had memorized the route and wanted to drive. Mary hoped that between here and Amarillo that Marshall would lose the tension that seeing Faber had caused.

They got into the SUV and Marshall turned around to address their witness.

"Wendy, we're going to ask that you get on the floorboards just as a precautionary measure. We don't want anyone seeing you leave here. Once we decide that it's clear we'll let you know when you can sit up again," Marshall said, in a calm soothing voice.

Wendy nodded and did as she was instructed. Mary took off as soon as Wendy was out of sight. Mary headed towards I-70 as they began their trek to Tribune, KS and then onto Amarillo.

They stopped in Boise City, Oklahoma, to eat before continuing onto Amarillo. Wendy had fallen asleep shortly after they ate. Marshall had his eyes closed, but she knew he wasn't sleeping.

Mary double checked to make sure Wendy was sleeping.

"Can we ever be friends again? I want to fix us Marshall, but I don't know how," Mary said, nervously.

"I highly doubt it. You don't like change. Things need to change in order for me to even think about trying to fix things," Marshall replied, softly.

"I'm stubborn, feisty and naturally cranky. It's who I am," Mary said.

"That's not what I'm talking about. Those are personality traits of which I've become accustomed to. I don't like being used and that's what this 'friendship' turned into. When it's convenient for you, you include me. I'm an afterthought at best. I deserve better than that," Marshall replied.

"Yes, you do," Mary said.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

They had stayed in a hotel near the interstate when they reached Amarillo. Marshall insisted he take first watch since Mary drove. After walking the outside perimeter and finding nothing out of the ordinary, Mary went in by Wendy who was sound asleep. She left the adjoining bedroom door open. She needed to be able to hear Marshall.

Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, she thought about the conversation they had in the car. She knew she took advantage of their friendship. It wasn't even a question. She meant it when she said he deserved better than the way she treated him. Marshall was the only person who ever asked her what she needed. It made her feel special, the kind of special that scared her. "Special enough to love" was the feeling; she hadn't had it since her father had left. It was why she ran from Marshall. A life of commitment to Marshall petrified her. She would screw it up and hurt him in the process. That was the logic she used, but in the end she hurt him even worse. Faber is a fun play toy. She didn't have to worry about getting hurt. Some of the things Marshall had said made her question if there wasn't an ulterior motive for Faber. It was definitely time to cut him out of her life. That was the easy decision.

The greater problem was earning the right to be a part of Marshall's life again. She just wasn't sure how to give Marshall his confidence in himself and her back. Mary, Stan, and Marshall's family had done a pretty good number on destroying that. A part of her wondered if that was an after effect of all the drama they had endured the last two years. Getting nowhere with her internal debate she slammed her fist into the pillow and fell into a restless sleep.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall went to check them out of the hotel while Mary and Wendy got into the car. Mary noticed a vehicle drive by a couple of times. She was starting to get suspicious.

"Wendy, get on the floorboards and stay there, unless Marshall or I tell you to move," Mary said, putting the car into drive and heading to pick her partner up at the desk.

"What's up?" Marshall asked, getting into the SUV.

"I believe we have company. A grey Yukon has driven by slowly three times," Mary replied.

"Get onto I-27. We'll head towards Lubbock, TX, and then to Albuquerque. I'll call Stan and see if we can get some help on standby, just in case," Marshall said, while pulling out his cell.

"Sounds like a plan," Mary said, heading the SUV towards I-27.

Marshall waited for Stan to answer.

"McQueen."

"Stan, we're leaving Amarillo, but we may have picked up a tail. It's a grey Yukon. They've driven by the hotel three times slowly before joining us on the interstate," Marshall said, filling Stan in on the rest of the plan.

"I'll see what I can get you for backup. I'll call back in a few minutes."

Marshall hung up.

"Stan's working on backup. The Yukon is a lane over and back six cars. Wendy, stay down."

Mary pushed on the accelerator and began to weave in and out of traffic. The Yukon stayed about five cars back, but made sure it kept them in their sights.

Marshall's phone rang as Mary continued to try and put distance between the two of them.

"Stan, how's the help coming?" Marshall asked.

"There are two fugitive task force teams that just finished a joint operation in Tulia. They're heading your way to help out. They're less than a half hour away from you," Stan replied.

"Thanks, Stan." Marshall hung up and relayed the information to Mary.

Traffic was beginning to thin out and the Yukon was starting to close the distance.

"Did you, by any chance, pack the shotgun in the back?" Marshall asked.

"Yep, it's under the away bags," Mary replied, watching as Marshall undid his seat belt and climbed over the seat.

"What's going on?" Wendy's frightened voice asked.

"We've got company. Backup is on their way and Marshall is getting the shotgun in case we have a problem," Mary said.

Marshall looked out the back. "They're getting ready to make a move."

"Shit," Mary said, as she noticed the Yukon getting ready to ram them from behind. "Marshall, Wendy, brace yourselves."

Marshall pinned Wendy down with one arm while trying to grab onto the seatbelt for the impact. The SUV lurched forward and Mary swung the car across a lane punching the accelerator again. Marshall sat up and blew the back window out with the shot gun.

"Gun," Marshall called out.

"Why not?" Mary asked, sarcastically. "What day wouldn't be complete without a car chase with weapons? It was then she noticed the cavalry coming on the other side of the Interstate. "Backup's here."

"Down," Marshall yelled, as one man leaned out of the Yukon and began to fire at them.

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The Fugitive Task Force team saw the Yukon that they'd received the description on just before the bullets started flying.

"They weren't kidding they needed backup. Are you seeing this?" Aaron asked, into his transmitter.

"We need to get over there now," Shane replied back. It had been a strange twist of fate that the two brothers got called into the same location. Aaron's team had been chasing the man that was setting up a meet with the fugitive Shane's team was trying to arrest.

They both maneuvered their vehicles to get onto the other side of the interstate. Once on, they accelerated to catch up to the Yukon. As they finally started to close the distance with the Yukon they noticed a man lean out and fire again at the SUV. This time the bullet hit the tire causing the driver to lose control of the vehicle and it flipped over several times.

The Yukon moved in to finish the job as two of the FTF members opened fire on the Yukon. They needed to keep them away from the occupants of the SUV.

"I'm calling for an ambulance," Aaron said, over his transmitter.

"Good, let's block in the Yukon. I'll maneuver us between the SUV and the Yukon, you move in behind them," Shane ordered.

"Copy that," Aaron replied. They managed the maneuver before the men from the Yukon had a chance to approach the upside down SUV.

"U.S Marshals! On the ground! On the ground now," Aaron yelled out.

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Mary knew she'd blacked out somewhere after their car flipped. The last thing she recalled hearing was Wendy scream. Now she could hear the yell of the marshals that were getting the people from the Yukon.

"Wendy, Marshall?" Mary called out, fighting her seatbelt. Once she got it released she fell to the ceiling of the SUV. Crawling her way between the seats, she ignored the pounding in her head. Getting into the back seat she noticed that Wendy was seat belted into the passenger seat.

"Ow," Wendy moaned.

"Wendy, what hurts?" Mary asked, concerned.

"My head. I think it smacked against the window before Marshall finished getting me in the seat while putting my seat belt on," Wendy replied.

Mary wanted desperately to check Marshall out, but she knew the witness had to come first. "I'm going to undo your seat belt."

Mary undid the seat belt and caught Wendy before she landed on her partner. She was about to move Wendy out of the car when a face peaked in through the shattered glass. Mary trained her Glock on the person.

"Whoa, easy there. I'm a U.S. Marshal," the man said, showing her his badge.

"Is the area clear?" Mary asked.

"All the members in the Yukon have been arrested," the man replied.

"We need an ambulance. I need you to get her out of the vehicle and into a secure location," Mary ordered.

"The ambulance is on the way. My boss has one of our vehicles for your witness to stay in with one of the teams guarding her until the replacements arrive that your boss is sending,"

"Good. You keep and eye on her while I check my partner. If anything happens to her, I'll shoot you," Mary said, knowing technically she should stay with Wendy.

"Understood," the man helped Wendy out of the vehicle.

Mary turned her attention back to Marshall. He hadn't moved or made a sound at all, and that scared Mary more than she cared to think about. Reaching down with a shaky hand she felt for a pulse.

"Please, come on, please give me a pulse," Mary kept repeating. Finding one, she sighed in relief. She started to check him over the best she could without moving him. She didn't want to injure him more than he already was.

Mary heard the sound of someone trying to force the passenger side door open, but ignored it for now. She'd deal with them when they opened it.

"Marshall, come on. I need you to talk to me or open your eyes. Give me something to work with here. You need to fight, Marshall. It's not your time to go. There's too much that needs to be fixed. Please, Marshall. Don't leave me. I need you here. Don't leave me." Mary knew she was begging, but she didn't care. The statement he said about his not being born played in the back of her mind. She needed him to fight. They could fix all of this, but he needed to stay with them.

The door creaked open and Mary didn't even look up.

"Where's that ambulance?"

"It's five minutes out. My man said we should call for a flight for life. He said the other passenger isn't moving," the Marshal said.

Mary looked up and gasped at the man talking to her. She would know those eyes anywhere.

"Which brother are you?" Mary asked.

"Excuse me?" Shane asked.

"Which …" Mary started to ask, when she heard a moan. "Marshall?"

Shane looked down at the injured marshal. "Oh crap. Aaron!"

"Hold your horses, I'm a little busy at the moment," Aaron called back, leading one of the men from the Yukon into a patrol car that finally arrived.

"Aaron, get over here now!" Shane snapped.

Aaron handed the prisoner to one of his men before hustling over to see what Shane's problem was. Aaron came over and knelt down next to Shane to find out what's wrong when he heard the female calling out.

"Marshall, damn it, you answer me," Mary said.

"Our Marshall?" Aaron asked Shane.

Mary looked up. "Where the hell is that ambulance or flight for life?"

"Paramedics are here." Aaron stood up and signaled them over.

Mary told the paramedics everything she could about what happened. They forced her out of the car while they climbed in. Mary was about to ask the two brothers a question when she saw the replacement Marshals arrive.

"Excuse me," Mary said, quickly making her way over to them.

Wendy was looked over and released to them. Mary informed the two marshals what she knew about the previous locations and warned of a possible leak. It was the only way the witness could've been found. Once Wendy left with the marshals, Mary ran back to see how Marshall was.

The flight for life arrived and they loaded Marshall onto the helicopter. Mary wanted to ride with, but they wouldn't let her.

"Come with us. We cleared it with our bosses to take one of the SUV's to Amarillo to be with Marshall. Aaron, call Mom and Dad," Shane said.

"You realize how pissed Marshall's going to be when he wakes up?" Mary said.

"I don't really care at the moment. They flew him out on flight for life. They think he could have internal bleeding. If something goes wrong, our parents need to be there," Shane replied, angrily.

"Nothing is going to happen. Marshall's not allowed to die," Mary said. Turning she headed towards the SUV.

"This ought to be interesting," Aaron muttered.

"Stow it. We have enough issues right now, we don't need more. What did Mom and Dad say?"

"They're on their way to the hospital," Aaron replied.


	6. Chapter 6

Mary paced back and forth, waiting for the doctor to come out. She already called Stan to let him know what had happened. Stan's flight left three hours ago. He should be arriving within an hour. Marshall's parents would arrive shortly after that. Apparently, their drive was about six hours.

Aaron and Shane were watching their brother's partner pace back and forth. Neither knew if it was a good idea to approach her. Seth had told them a little about her, but didn't go into specifics. Marshall being in WITSEC wasn't something that was advertised. Their suspicions were always there, but today they'd been confirmed.

Mary could feel them staring at her. Finally having enough she turned [around to] face them.

"What?" she snapped

"I don't think we've officially introduced ourselves," Shane said. "I'm Shane, the oldest brother and this is Aaron the middle child."

"Mary. Would you two care to explain why you feel the need to belittle my partner every chance you get?"

"Dad was right, you're not exactly gun shy," Aaron said, amused.

"There's nothing funny about what's been going on with Marshall," Mary said, heatedly.

"No, there's not. Aaron wasn't trying to suggest there was. It was just something we've always done and never thought about how it affected him. Trust me when I say, we got a taste of our own medicine," Shane replied.

"You're worried what happened will affect his will to fight," Aaron said, noting the concern and recalling what she said to Marshall at the accident site.

Mary nodded. "You haven't talked to your parents lately."

"No, we've been working on taking down the two dealers in Lubbock. What don't we know?" Shane asked, worried.

Mary repeated the conversation that she'd had with Marshall about his father and the two in front of her. Their shocked expressions said a lot to her.

"Geez, how did things get so messed up?" Aaron asked.

"Honestly, I think it's a combination of everything over the years and especially the last two years for us. Things have been complicated, to say the least," Mary replied, filling them in on what she could tell them and generalizing other parts.

"Marshall's systematically shutting us out in order to stay afloat," Shane summarized.

"Very effectively too, I might add," Mary said, honestly. They continued to talk until Mary saw Stan coming towards her.

"Stan, how's Wendy?"

"Secured," Stan said, looking at the two sitting down. "You must be Marshall's brothers."

"Shane is the one on the left and the other one is Aaron," Mary said.

"How's Marshall?" Stan asked.

"It would be nice if someone would tell us," Mary replied.

A doctor came in before Stan could reply.

"Family of Mr. Miller?"

"Yes," Mary said, knowing they used their aliases for the trip.

"Mr. Miller suffered several injuries, including lacerations on his back. We cleaned them out. None were deep enough to require stitches. He has five bruised ribs and a two that are cracked. We did a CT scan to see if there was internal bleeding. He had an injury to his spleen. We took him into surgery and repaired it. We'll need to keep him here for the next five to seven days to make sure the spleen doesn't bleed again. He also suffered a concussion and has a large bump on the back of his head. He did regain consciousness before we took him into surgery. Right now he's in the recovery room and will be moved to a private room shortly. I'll have a nurse come and get you. Do you have any questions?" the doctor asked.

"Will he have any restrictions after his release?" Stan asked.

"Mr. Miller will need to avoid all strenuous and physical activity for six to eight weeks," the doctor replied.

"Thank you," Stan said, as the doctor turned to walk away.

"Why did he call Marshall, Mr. Miller?" Aaron asked.

"They hide in plain sight. Aliases to protect their identities and that of whomever they're protecting," Shane said, he'd heard some rumors about that, but never knew if they were true. He briefly wondered how many aliases Marshall had.

"Wouldn't have a clue what you're talking about," Mary replied.

"Mom and Dad will need to know he's under a different name." Shane pointed out.

"I'll wait for Seth to arrive," Stan said.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary, Shane and Aaron had finally been shown to Marshall's room, while Stan waited patiently for Seth and Rachel to arrive. He was worried what the reunion would do to Marshall's state of mind. Mary had already warned him about the run in with Faber. It just seemed that Marshall couldn't catch a break lately. It was probably part of the problem. Stan talked to Shelly again and asked if she thought the trigger for it was the compilation of everything and if it was, how would they tackle it?

Shelly wanted to talk to Marshall, but they couldn't force the issue when Stan originally talked to her. He could use the accident and injury as a way to force Marshall to go, but he would only use that as a last resort. He had a feeling that pushing his inspector into anything right now would only backfire on their goal.

Stan heard footsteps rushing down the hall and caught Seth's attention.

"Seth, they moved Marshall to his room. Your sons and Mary are with him now," Stan said, as he then informed them of what the doctor said.

"What room is he in?" Rachel asked.

"Follow me," Stan said, leading them to Marshall's room.

Rachel, Seth and Stan entered to see Shane and Aaron on one side of the bed and Mary clinging onto his hand on the other. They all turned when they heard footsteps.

"Has he woken up yet?" Stan asked.

"Not yet," Mary replied.

"Mary, nice to see you again. This is my wife Rachel and I see that you've met Marshall's brothers," Seth said.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Mann," Mary reached out to shake her hand.

"Please call me Rachel," she said, moving to the side of the bed. Leaning over the railing she ran her fingers through Marshall's hair before placing a kiss on his forehead. "We're all here Marshall. Everything is going to be okay."

They all sat in silence for two hours until Marshall began to twitch.

"Come on, Marshall, show me those blue eyes," Mary said, eagerly.

"Mare?"

"Yep, the one and only," Mary replied.

"Wendy?"

"Handed off securely. You got her seat belted in just in time," Mary replied, hitting the call button, since they were asked by the nurses to let them know if he woke up.

Rachel moved to sit right next to Marshall.

"Marshall, honey," Rachel started.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Marshall asked, confused.

"Your brothers called when they realized you were the injured Marshal on the scene. Dad and I came out right away," Rachel replied.

Marshall did a quick survey of the room and almost groaned out loud. He was grateful for the medication, now. It was making him tired.

"I'm tired. Going to sleep," Marshall said, softly.

"It's okay honey, we'll all be here when you wake up," Rachel replied.

"Don't need to stay. It's just me. No one important," Marshall said, giving into the sleep that called to him.

Mary and Rachel stayed while Marshall slept. No one was sure what to say or do after Marshall's comment before falling asleep.

"How did you break my son's heart?" Rachel asked, after watching Mary for over an hour.

"I ran," Mary said, simply.

"Why?"

"Marshall deserves better than me. I was scared of hurting him. I have commitment issues, and I didn't want to lose my best and only friend," Mary said, honestly.

"Do you love my son?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know," Mary said, uncomfortable with this conversation.

Rachel realized she was making Mary squirm. "I'm not trying to be judgmental. Marshall sees something in you, which means there is something worth having. Something has changed to doubt you. It's part of the puzzle that we need to fit together in order to help him. I wouldn't push otherwise. Deep down I think you know how you feel about him. Sometimes the truth is a scary thing. Either way, you need to tell him. If you don't feel the same than you need to let him go."

"I think he already let me go. His opinion of me is less than what it used to be. Rightfully so, I ran to someone else when he tried to tell me how he felt. The person I ran to isn't someone Marshall likes," Mary said, knowing Rachel was right about what they needed to help Marshall.

"Then why go to him?" Rachel asked, curious.

"He was safe, easy, fun and disposable," Mary said, shrugging. "Why do you let Shane and Aaron belittle Marshall all the time?"

Rachel smirked. Mary had a backbone.

"I shouldn't have. Marshall always let it roll off his back. Marshall usually ignored the jabs. I knew we were getting close to a blow up, but figured it would be a few words and then we'd be back to normal. I could see the tension in Marshall. I pulled him away from them the first night. There really isn't a good excuse for what had happened and what's been allowed to happen."

"I'll do whatever it takes to get our Marshall back. If that means confessing every freaking sin I've ever done then I'll do it. This is going to get personal for all of us and as much as I don't like discussing my life with others, I'll do it for Marshall. His needs need to come first for a change," Mary said.

"Good, because we're all going to need to be thick skinned before this is over. I have a feeling we're going to discover things we won't like along the way," Rachel replied.

"I don't doubt that," Mary said, having experienced that firsthand already.

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Seth relieved Rachel and Mary after a small argument. He needed to sit with his son. If Marshall woke up, he hoped for a chance to not only apologize, but also to try to explain.

Seth looked at Marshall and noticed his eyes begin to flutter open. He patiently waited for them to focus.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Marshall asked, confused.

"I'm here because I need to know that you're okay," Seth replied.

"Just give me the failure report card and get it over with," Marshall said, dejectedly.

"Is that what our relation has come down to? A pass or fail card. I know that I've been tougher on you. I was doing it to protect you from the world. In my job, we see the worst of the worst. I'd finally realized that's why it never meant much to you. Yes, the bad guys get taken off the streets and you know it's a good thing, but you like to protect the innocent and those who can manage to turn their life around. It took me Operation Falcon to realize that. You are my son and I do love you despite what you may think. I know that I don't show it and I'm sorry that you think I don't deem you worthy. It was never my intention for things to come to that. I thought if I toughened you up, the world wouldn't rip you into two. I never thought it would be us who tore you apart, but we did and I regret that the most," Seth said.

"Mom's not here, you know. You don't have to be nice and say what you think I want to hear," Marshall replied, confused by his father's words. He couldn't recall hearing that many in his life.

"I'm not trying to appease your Mother. I had to argue with her and Mary to get them to leave. I've been thinking about the two of us since Operation Falcon. I remember the little boy that used to be happy to see me come home. The same one who drew the picture of us together, the only piece of art I own. I'm afraid you're going to become the man who tolerates or avoids me. I want to try to bridge the gap we've built over the years. I shouldn't have waited until you blew up to put an end to Aaron, Shane and you fighting. I just didn't want a huge argument to ruin Christmas. It's the only time of the year that we get together as a family. I wasn't siding with them. They were out of line and so was I. It's way past time for me to get to know you."

"Why now?" Marshall was trying to get his mind wrapped around the fact that his father might actually care enough to make an effort.

"Operation Falcon showed me that I didn't know you. I could see the wonder in your face that I even kept something of yours other then the best and worst report card. A son shouldn't have to question his father's love for him. We should be able to talk to each other and not around things. I'd like a chance for us to get to know each other better."

Marshall realized his father just offered him an olive branch. Did he dare take it?

"You don't need to give me an answer today, Marshall. I know I've thrown you for a loop," Seth said, seeing the confusion in his son's eyes.

"Do you really mean it?" Marshall had to know.

"Yes, Marshall. I wouldn't say it if I didn't. I want a second chance with you."

Marshall scanned his father's face, looking for any kind of clue that he didn't mean it. He wanted the second chance, but needed to be sure. He didn't want to open himself up to more heartache.

"You need time. I understand Marshall. This is new territory for both of us. Would you prefer to have your Mom and Mary in the room for awhile?" Seth asked.

"Mom," Marshall replied.

"I'll send her in. I'll try and keep Mary out for a little bit. I don't make promises with that one. You scared her at the accident site," Seth cautioned.

"Thanks."

Seth nodded and walked out to the waiting room where everyone else was sitting.

"What's wrong?" Mary asked.

"Nothing. Rachel, he'd like to see you and _only_ you," Seth said, giving Mary a pointed look.

Rachel got up and headed in to see Marshall.

"You want to tell me why I can't see him?" Mary demanded.

"He asked for his mother only. I gave him some things to think about and I'm assuming he needs to make sure Rachel didn't put me up to it. He's not very secure in his relationship with me for a very good reason. He'll talk to you Mary at some point. I think we're going to have to do it one step at a time," Seth said.

"Baby steps," Mary muttered.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Rachel sat in the chair that Seth had just vacated.

"What's the matter, honey?"

"Did you put Dad up to that?" Marshall asked.

"Up to what, Marshall?" Rachel didn't know what he was talking about.

"Dad said he wanted a second chance with me. He sounded sincere, but I'm not sure. I need to know if you told him to," Marshall said.

"No. You and your father, brothers and friends need to make up your own minds on if you want to work things out. I'm glad your Dad asked you to give him a second chance, but I would never force it. I don't want things to get worse. You look tired. Why don't you close your eyes for awhile? One of us will be here when you wake up," Rachel replied, reassuringly. She held his hand until he drifted off.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall woke up with Mary next to his bed, holding his hand. He tried to pull it away, but she tightens her grip.

It's a word he barely recognized. It's something he often wondered if she really knew how to say.

"You pulled away first," Marshall reminded.

"I didn't pull, I ran away. Fast, scared, and stupid."

"Am I going to go through this with each of you every time I wake up?"

"That's sort of the idea. You can't run from us here. It's not fair to you, but it maybe the only chance we have at working things out," Mary said, truthfully.

"What if I don't want to work things out?" Marshall asked.

"Don't you? You have every right to be angry with me. I know I hurt you, but you scared the crap out of me. You know I don't do scared well," Mary said.

"Are we talking about Faber or the fact that you use me all the time?"

"Faber first, then the one sided friendship," Mary said. "Your opinion of me has fallen since the trip to Mexico."

"How could it not? I don't trust the man and that won't change. He lied to a witness and that damn near got the witness and innocent people killed. I stick with what I told you earlier. He uses people to get what he wants. It's your choice to see him or not. I've got no say whatsoever in your personal life. Don't expect me to hang out and listen to what the two of you are doing, because personally it sickens me. I won't pretend it doesn't. You knew there would be fall out from this, but you went and did it anyways. That is on you," Marshall said.

Mary fought back the tears. She hadn't been prepared for the harshness of what Marshall was going to say.

"Geez Marshall, how do you really feel?"

"You really don't want me to answer that," Marshall warned.

"Yeah, actually I do. If we're going to work through this, then I need to know. No matter how much I may not like it," Mary said.

"You're still playing the cowboy because of you abandonment issues. You're not the seven year old whose father left her. You're an adult who has never dealt with those issues, and because of that you live an empty life. You don't let people in because you're scared. It's time to grow up and fix your problems Mary, before you totally destroy your life. Either find your father and confront him or see some one to deal with your issues. You're not the first child, whose parent abandoned them and, unfortunately, you won't be the last. While I realize your childhood was less than ideal, others have been worse off than you and still managed to come out okay. They worked through their issues and they've grown up into functional adults. You've shut down and buried it all inside. It's why you prefer to be the cowboy in a relationship, because you know it will end and you can't get hurt. Life is full of ups and downs and you get hurt, but you pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move forward," Marshall said, calmly.

"Is that what you did by running away from your family?" Mary asked, swallowing the lump that was in her throat. She knew Marshall was giving her brutal honesty, but that didn't mean it hurt less.

"I needed time and space to figure out how to deal with all of this. I'm tired of not being good enough for my family and so called friends. Getting drunk wasn't the smartest plan, but I did get backup. I will work with you and Stan, but we're not friends," Marshall said.

"I want us to be friends again Marshall. I know that I've taken advantage many times over and that it needs to stop. Every time I've tried to protect you, I end up hurting you more. Faber was someone simple. I thought he was what I needed. Messy scares the hell out of me. Especially the kind of messy you can give me. I couldn't survive you leaving me. I need you in my life, but I haven't ever asked you what you needed. We need to find a happy medium. I need to put your needs first. You're the only person that's ever asked me what I need since my Dad left me. I know what you can offer me, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Maybe you're right, maybe I need to put an end to my father issues. The only thing I'm sure of is that I want to have you in my life and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I may stumble, fall or mess things up, but I'll keep trying to make them right." Mary took a deep breath.

"I can't promise you anything beyond partnership. Not unless I have proof that you're willing to change the way you treat me and that it's not just a temporary thing," Marshall replied.

"I know. I'll show you. I promise," Mary said. "It's late, visiting hours are almost over. I'll be back tomorrow."

Marshall watched Mary leave before thinking about what he said to her. She might not be the only one who needed to talk through some of their issues. He didn't feel comfortable talking to Shelley. He was hoping they might have someone on staff that he could talk to. If he was going to give anyone a second chance he had to enter into understanding what was going on with him. He knew he was off-kilter. Something hadn't been right for a while now.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall was toying with the blanket on his hospital bed. He was going over everything the psychiatrist said to him this morning. She wanted him to talk with her about Mary's shooting and kidnapping. He knew he would need to learn to stop bottling everything up inside. It wasn't helping matters.

Stan entered the room, and noticed Marshall playing with the blanket.

"Marshall, we need to talk," Stan said.

"I know," Marshall replied.

"I want you to see Shelley. Something is wrong with you, and we need to get to the bottom of it to fix this," Stan said, adamantly.

"I talked to a counselor here this morning," Marshall replied.

Stan was surprised. "I thought I was going to have to fight you on this."

"Mary and I were talking about some things yesterday and I told her she had issues that needed to be worked out. I haven't felt like me, in a long time. I wanted to talk to someone about that," Marshall shrugged.

"And?" Stan said.

Marshall gave him the diagnosis.

"Why didn't you tell me you were still having nightmare about Mary's shooting?" Stan asked.

"When? We were trying to catch her shooter. Then we were trying to keep Mary out of the office so she didn't over do it. You had taken Charlie under your wings and have been trying to teach him the ropes. You didn't have time for me, Stan."

"Marshall, my door is always open. I can't help you if you don't tell me something is wrong. I know that I've said Mary's the best inspector that I have. That seems to bother you, which I understand since you don't realize the way I perceive the two of you. Mary is the best inspector I have. The thing is, she won't ever be more than a field inspector. You, on the other hand, will at some point become a Chief Inspector and more than likely higher then that if you choose. You have the brains, discipline and talent to be more than a field inspector. Mary doesn't. It's how I view the two of you. I've never once doubted your skills in the field or your professionalism. I agree with your statement that I need to hold Mary more accountable for her actions, and stop looking the other way as much. I've been trying to make up for the past she had and that isn't fair to you or the others. You need to stop putting everyone's needs before your own. I don't want all of this to fester up inside of you again. We want the Marshall that we know back."

"What if I can't be that Marshall?"

"You can. You're still here. If you weren't you wouldn't have realized your need for help, and would have shut us all out months ago. The fact that you're listening to us and considering giving us a second chance tells me your still here. Don't give up on us or yourself. You've been through a lot the last two years and kept it bottled up inside of you. I should've seen something was off, for that I'm sorry," Stan said.

"It's not your fault, Stan. I didn't think anything of it either. I know the signs, just never related them to me. I'm sorry about how I treated you in Vegas."

"It's okay, Marshall. We've all hit bumps in the road. Considering everything, you weren't that bad. I'm just glad you're talking to someone about it," Stan replied, as Aaron and Shane entered the room. "I'll stop by later. I have to leave in a couple of days."

Aaron and Shane waited until Stan left the room.

"How are you feeling?" Shane asked, deciding a neutral topic was a good way to start.

"Sore, but okay," Marshall shrugged.

"We need to talk about what happened over Christmas," Shane said.

"I know an apology isn't really enough to cover it, but I swear Marshall we were just teasing. It wasn't meant to hurt you," Aaron added.

"I know that, but it gets old. I realize that you don't think much of my job or personal life, but I'm tired of being judged by the two of you and Dad," Marshall admitted, reluctantly.

"Why WITSEC and not FTF? I know we all assumed it was what you did, but the little adventure yesterday confirmed that," Shane asked, curiously.

"I know FTF helps to get the bad guys off the streets, I don't disagree with that. The people we protect get a second chance at life. Some are innocent and some aren't. To watch them flourish beyond anything they had evert thought could be is rewarding. Some get a chance they never would have, if they had not entered the program. Protecting them from those who want them dead is an adventure in itself. They can't all be reformed. We've seen it and there are times when we know it. They can't all handle the new life and loss of connections, careers, family and friends. Despite our best efforts sometimes they leave and end up dead shortly afterwards because of it. Sometimes they get left alone. To me it's a rewarding career; I'm not attached to the sound of cuffs closing onto someone's hands. It's a tool to use to bring a prisoner in without them hurting someone else," Marshall replied.

"Well, I'll never say you don't see action. At least we know what we're walking into," Aaron said, processing what Marshall said with what they had seen.

"Don't be having us called to any more scenes with you lying unconscious and your partner in full protective mode. She threatened to shoot one of my men if we let anything happen to you," Shane smirked.

"Don't make her mad, she'd kick your butt," Marshall cautioned.

Shane grew serious again.

"Look, I know that neither of us says it, but we do love you Marshall. You're our baby brother and though we pick on you all the time, we care. Seeing you, lying unconscious in the SUV scared us. I promise we'll work on keeping the teasing to less personal things. I'm sorry we hurt you."

"Double that," Aaron said.

"It wasn't just that. I've been trying to deal with a lot of other things and it all clashed at once. I'm sorry I ruined Christmas."

"You weren't the one who ruined it," Aaron replied.

"That was us," Shane said, watching as Marshall began to yawn.

"We'll let you get some sleep. The kids say 'hi' and are making get well cards. We'll stop by later if we can. We have to go fill out reports. Take care, Marshall," Aaron said, as they left the room.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Two days later, Stan and Mary were on their way to Marshall's room. They had to head back to Albuquerque, but wanted to see Marshall before they left. Mary had tried to put up a fight, but Stan thought the distance might do the both of them some good. Seth and Rachel invited Mary and Stan to Seth's retirement party. Rachel had told them Marshall had finally agreed to come, and wanted them to be there.

As they entered the room they found two women in the room with Marshall, handing him homemade cards.

"Stan, Mary," Marshall greeted. "This is Jory and Tess, my sisters-in-law."

"It's nice to meet you both," Jory said.

"We've heard a lot about the both of you," Tess added.

"Nice to meet you," Stan replied, nudging Mary for a response.

"Pleasure," Mary said, sizing them up.

"We'll stop by later, Marshall," Tess said. "It was nice meeting you."

Jory and Tess left the room as Mary and Stan took their vacated seats.

"Sorry we interrupted," Stan replied.

"They had to get going anyways. After hearing about the accident and what happened at Christmas they wanted to see how I was doing. The kids will be getting out of school about the time they make it home," Marshall said. "Are you two heading back?"

"The flight leaves in three hours," Stan replied. "I just wanted to make sure things were still going well."

"They're definitely better. I'm starting to feel like me again," Marshall shrugged.

"What about the nightmares and sleeping?" Stan asked.

"I'm sleeping more, and the nightmares aren't as frequent."

"It's not because of the medicine though, right?" Stan asked.

"No, they've been decreasing that. The spleen has been healing and there hasn't been any additional bleeding so far. When do you need my report in?"

"When you get back, since you'll be on desk duty for awhile," Stan replied. "I need to check in with Allison. I'll stop back in a few minutes."

Mary watched Stan leave before turning her attention to Marshall. They were still struggling with things and Mary had been doing a lot of thinking in the hotel room.

"When did we start keeping secrets from each other?" Mary asked.

Marshall looked in her eyes and knew she already had the answer.

"You know when," Marshall said.

"I've always kept secrets Marshall. You know it's how I protect myself. Even when I know I don't need to protect myself from you. I guess I never realized you did too. I just assumed you could handle everything, like you always have. I'm sorry that I didn't know you were hurting. I get so self absorbed in my own problems that I forget other people have them too," Mary said. A part of her knew the only way to fix things was to be honest with Marshall.

"Mary, I'm not going to spend the rest of my life trying to convince you that I won't leave. I've already made that promise to you and you know that I don't break my promises. We're still on a one way street. I'm not sure how or if we can even begin to fix the things that are wrong between us."

"I called Shelley to schedule and appointment to talk to her about my father issues. You're right that I need to work on them. I can't say that it will lead me to go and look for him. A part of me wants to confront him and the other part wants to remember him the way he was before he left. Maybe talking to Shelley will help," Mary said, biting her lip nervously. "I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I know that it needs to be done. I've hurt to many people because of it. I never wanted to hurt you Marshall, but I don't know if I can tell you what you want to hear."

"Mary, work out your problems. I'll work out mine. Right now, I'm not sure I want what I used to. My feelings where you're concerned are very conflicted. When we've both healed or at least made more progress we can figure out where we go from here. I still can't promise you what you want to hear either. I don't know that I trust you like I once did," Marshall replied, honestly.

"This is more than Faber. You still haven't forgiven me for telling Raph," Mary said, knowingly.

"It wasn't your place to share that information. The only reason you didn't consult me was because you knew I'd steer you in the right direction. You put yourself, me and our witnesses at risk. You then acted like it was no big deal and I should take a flying leap because you did what was 'best' for you. You need to separate your personal and professional life. Even if you continue to see Faber, there is a lot you can't tell him or it could jeopardize other witnesses. There are things that make this job hard and if you can't walk that line anymore, maybe this job isn't for you."

"You want a different partner," Mary said, shocked.

"No, I don't. We work well together under most circumstances, but I do need to know that you can keep the secrets of the job. Faber knowing what you do makes things a little easier, but what happens if he pushed on information from you so you can hook up, when it's one of your other witnesses or one of mine? If we had to stay in Denver over night, would you stay at the hotel alone or would you've have him over? Having him over would jeopardize the security of the witness. What would you do and why? Think it over Mary. It's an important question."

"What if it was you and I together? How does that change the equation?" Mary asked, trying to see things Marshall's way.

"We'd do our job and take care of the witness. They come first; it's what the job entails. It's like dating anyone else. You get together off the clock and hope the phone doesn't ring to ruin your plans. I'm a Marshal, Mary. It's who I am. I follow the rules because there is a reason they're there. Occasionally, they need to be bent in order to get out of a bad situation, but never crossed. We both know the job and we know how to do it when we're on the clock. I've never crossed the line with the rules, but you have and it wasn't for the benefit of anyone, but you. I won't stand by and not say anything anymore. You need to play by the rules or deal with the fallout. I won't have it biting me in the ass.

Mary didn't get a chance to say anything else. Stan entered.

"Marshall, we'll see you later. Mary, we've got to go."


	7. Chapter 7

Stan was watching Mary after they left the hospital. Mary and Marshall were still having issues, but it didn't surprise him. Faber was the final straw, but they'd been pulling apart since her engagement. Eleanor had mentioned a fight between the two when he was at the conference. They hadn't really ever returned to normal after that. Stan had hoped her shooting would fix it all, but there was underlying tension even after that.

"What happened?" Stan finally asked.

"I'm not sure that I can fix Marshall and me," Mary whispered.

"You lost his trust somewhere along the way. I have an idea where, but I don't know how or why. You also pushed Marshall away after your engagement. You're not blind and you know how he feels about you. Going to Faber was like rubbing salt into an open wound. The problem is you weren't expecting things to change. How long do you think he was just going to sit around waiting for scraps from the table? He's not a pet, Mary. You do what you want with no regards to Marshall's feelings and expect him to be there to pick up the pieces, just so you can turn around and do it to him again. He has a right to not want anything at all from you. The fact that he's still willing to be your partner means you've got a chance to fix all of this. You're going to have to put effort into it or lose Marshall. You need Marshall more than you care to admit, but your fear of losing him is going to cost you. Take it from a man who's learned the hard way, if you don't do something about it, the best thing that ever happened to you could walk right out of your life," Stan said.

"What if I can't be who he wants me to be?" Mary asked.

"Marshall isn't asking for an overhaul, all he wants is for you to treat him with respect. That shouldn't be hard since he's more than earned it," Stan replied.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you're encouraging us to get together," Mary said.

"I am. He loves you and you love him. You're just too damn scared to admit it. He won't wait forever. Marshall has goals in life. He wants a wife, and possibly kids. While I know children scare you, I've seen the way you look at your partner when he's holding a baby. You're imagining him holding one of yours. Don't deny it either. I've seen that look before and I've looked at someone that way before. I'm older Mary, but I'm not blind. WITSEC has no official rules that say partners can't be together. It's not encouraged but it's not forbidden. While the two of you are separated, take the time to think about what you want and who you want it with. Then figure out how you can make that happen. I'm done preaching now, you can return to ignoring me," Stan said.

Mary smirked a little at Stan's ending. She never thought she'd hear him encourage a relationship between her and Marshall. The question came back to her. What did she want and what was she willing to do to get it. Staring out the window of the plane, she let her mind drift to relationships she'd seen work and those that had failed. She then focused on her own disappointments with relationships and what she wanted for herself.

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Rachel came by to visit Marshall to find his room empty. She headed to the nurse's station to see where he was when she spotted him walking down the hall.

"Hi, Mom," Marshall said, as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"You're looking much better," Rachel said, smiling.

Marshall climbed back into the bed. He knew what his Mom was going to ask at some point today, and knew she wouldn't like his reply.

"The doctor seems to agree with you," Marshall shrugged.

"How do you feel?"

"I'm feeling a lot better. I know that I haven't been pleasant to be around lately and I'm sorry about that," Marshall said, nervously.

Rachel looked at her son, reaching out she squeezed his hand. "What are you trying to avoid? There's obviously something that you want to discuss, but you think I'm not going to like what you have to say. You were never good at lying. So let's get the topic over with."

"I know that when I get released from here, you were hoping that I would stay with you and Dad. I'm not ready to do that yet. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I need to work things out and with everyone around, I'm not sure I can," Marshall said.

"I freely admit I was hoping that you'd stay with us, but I understand. Are you heading back to Albuquerque or are you going to stay in a hotel near here? What about the psychologist that you're seeing?" Rachel was worried he'd stop seeing one.

"Neither at first. I need some time alone to put things together for me. I promise I won't drink like I did at Christmas. I've gotten a recommendation from the psychologist here for someone in several locations," Marshall reassured.

"When you're ready to see us, I want to know so that we can fly out and see you. I also expect my usual phone calls," Rachel said, kissing Marshall's forehead and wishing she could comfort him like she did when he was little.

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Marshall had been back in Albuquerque for two days after spending a week in Virginia. He still hadn't talked to Stan to let him know he'd returned. Finally pulling out his laptop he began to write up his report. He knew that it was past overdue and should be turned in.

Marshall had just hit the send button when he heard his front door opening. Heading into his bedroom he grabbed his Glock and made his way towards the living room. Quietly moving to the front room he heard a noise in the kitchen. Turning towards the sound he entered the kitchen just as Mary turned around with a pitcher full of water. She dropped the pitcher and went for her gun, but realized who she was looking at.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Mary asked, trying to clam her breathing.

"What are you doing here?"

"Watering your damn plants, so they don't die. I remembered you said something about every two days," Mary replied. "When did you get back?"

"A couple of nights ago," Marshall said. "Since when did you start caring about my plants?"

Mary shrugged in response. She was scared to answer, afraid he was angry that she was in his house.

"I should get going, unless you need something," Mary said.

"I'm good. I sent my report off to Stan. How are my witnesses?" Marshall asked.

"Same as always, well with the exception of Louisa. I think she's going deaf. She didn't answer any of my questions. Just looked through me like I wasn't there. It was kind of creepy," Mary said, reflectively.

"Bring her a cupcake or something sweet next time. She'll open up once she has sugar," Marshall suggested.

"You bribe your witness to talk?" Mary asked, amused.

"Louisa is a loner. She's not comfortable around people, but for some reason if you give her something sweet she will talk," Marshall shrugged.

"How are you feeling?" Mary wanted to talk about them, but wasn't sure where to start.

"Better."

"I started talking to Shelley," Mary blurted out, gasping for something for them to talk about and hoping it would get easier.

"That's good."

"Are you seeing her, too?"

"No, I arranged to speak with someone else. I wasn't comfortable talking with Shelley," Marshall replied.

Mary nodded in understanding.

Marshall could see the insecurity in the way Mary was biting her lip and not looking at him directly when she thought he was looking at her.

"Mary, I know that we need to talk and work things out, at the very least so that we can stay partners. I'm not ready to talk to you yet."

"But, you will talk to me at some point, right Marshall? I know that you have a lot to work out where I'm concerned, and I've been trying to work things out on my end. Shelley mentioned at some point the two of us are going to have to hash over things. I don't want to pressure you. I want to do what you need for a change. I'm trying to fix things, but I know that I can't do it alone."

"When I first started working with Stan, he mentioned every partnership hits a rough patch. Maybe this is ours. I'll talk to you again, but right now I need space from you to sort things out. I appreciate you taking care of my plants while I was gone."

"I'll see you later. Anything you need me to tell Stan?"

"I'm sure he'll call when he gets my report," Marshall said.

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Three weeks later Marshall was back in the office on desk duty. Stan had wanted him to take more time off, but since Marshall kept checking his e-mail and calling his witnesses on his cell phone, he figured it was easier to have Marshall where he could keep an eye on him.

"Mary, Charlie," Stan called from his office.

Marshall watched as the two entered. He was tired of being stuck to a desk even though he knew he was still healing. His phone rang before his curiosity could get the better of him.

"Inspector Mann."

"Marshall, honey" Rachel said.

"Hi, Mom."

"Dad and I wanted to fly out for a week or two to see you. I wanted to make sure it was okay."

"It's fine. I'm working, but on desk duty."

"Bored already," Rachel smiled, knowingly.

"Just prefer to mix things up a little," Marshall said.

"We'll be flying in tomorrow night." Rachel had wanted to leave today, but Seth figured a little advanced warning would be nice.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?" Marshall asked.

"No, we're renting a car so we can run errands while you're working. We'll see you tomorrow. Love you, Marshall."

"Love you too, Mom," Marshall replied, as he watched Charlie and Mary come out of Stan's office.

"How's Mom?" Mary asked, hearing the tail end of his conversation.

"Good, arriving tomorrow with Dad."

"What's going on?" Marshall tilted his head towards Stan's door.

"Witness transport. Charlie and I are relocating the Ashley's. Marion's old boyfriend moved to town and they ran into each other. The D.O.J. wants them moved as a precautionary measure," Mary shrugged.

"Are you leaving now?" Marshall asked, feeling his gut tightening in response to Mary going without him.

"In about four hours," Mary said, looking at him with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Marshall said, defensively.

Mary stared at him strangely as he got up and headed into Stan's office.

Marshall knocked on Stan's door before being waved in.

"Is there something that I can help you with Marshall?" Stan asked, wishing with all his might that Marshall would return to his old self.

"Not to question your judgment; but do you really think sending Charlie with Mary is a wise choice?" Marshall asked.

"Mary will be fine, Marshall," Stan replied, secretly pleased that Marshall showed some interest in Mary's well being.

"It wasn't Mary that I was concerned about," Marshall replied, before starting to turn and leave.

Stan silently cursed. He had hoped that they had just taken a step forward.

"What concerns do you have about Charlie going with Mary?"

"You really need to ask?" Marshall replied back harsher than he had intended.

"Humor me, Marshall. Tell me what concerns you have about this arrangement," Stan replied, hoping it might shed some light on Mary and Marshall's problems.

Marshall stepped over and closed the door before starting. He didn't really want to say something to get Mary in trouble, but sending in someone as green with Mary as Charlie was putting both of their lives at risk.

"Mary has a blatant disregard for protocol. Charlie is green, Stan. He's not going to know how to react when Mary throws away the play book if something goes wrong. Mary can also go in and aggravate a situation and Charlie wouldn't even begin to know how to diffuse the situation. He's going to follow Mary's lead and we both know what happens when things go bad, she runs purely on instinct which works fine when you have a veteran out with her. A rookie isn't going to know what to do," Marshall replied, leaving off a few of the other things that Mary may consider doing when the case is over and she needs to blow off steam that has on a couple of occasions nearly gotten her in trouble. Luckily he knew how to smooth things over.

"What do you suggest that I do?" Stan asked, curious to see what else Marshall had to say. He was holding back and Stan wasn't sure why.

"Send her with a veteran or go with her yourself. Charlie needs to learn the skills and reactions before you send him into a dangerous situation with Mary," Marshall replied, shrugging.

"I don't have a veteran available and you're still on medical leave."

"Then I suggest you borrow a go bag or pack yours. It's not fair to send Charlie out there without knowing what to do. I realize that part of the training comes from the job, but that training should come from someone who knows how to patiently train someone."

"Anything else, Marshall?"

"If I finish up my paperwork, would you mind if I headed out a little early? My parents are coming in and I want to make sure everything is up to their expectations."

"You can leave early even if you don't finish your paperwork. I know that it will be done in a timely manner, but Marshall, do us all a favor and stop putting pressure on yourself to be what you think it is that we all want you to be," Stan replied, exasperated at his inspector for thinking his parents would judge him by his house. He'd been there enough to know Marshall always kept it neat and Stan also knew by his parents he meant Seth.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Stan."

"When you left your parents at Christmas and took off to Vegas, you told me you were tired of not being good enough. Do you even realize the reason you just gave me for leaving early reiterates the fact that you're still feeling like you won't measure up to your Dad's standards?"

Marshall had to stop and think about what he said.

"The only thing any of us wants is for you to be happy and for once in your life to stop shooting yourself down. I'm probably stepping over the line with this next statement and it's not meant to be hurtful or taken the wrong way, but Marshall, sometimes I think you take some of the things being said or done out of context. Your home is always neat and I really don't think your parents are coming to judge your house. They want to see you and make sure that you're still doing okay. We're all still worried about you. We miss the Marshall we knew. I'm not saying that we don't need to change the way we treat you or anything, but I hope that some day that silly grin and laughter that used to come from you returns to this office. I don't have a timeframe in mind, but I would like to think that deep down you remember how to be happy."

"Yes, sir," Marshall said, before getting up and heading back to his desk.

Stan watched as Marshall left the room. He had thought Mary and Marshall had made steps forward, but it seemed for every little improvement they made; they ended up two steps behind. Stan also had to take into account what Marshall said about Charlie going with Mary. He had some valid points. There was also something that Marshall wasn't saying and he had a feeling that it was something he didn't want to hear. Stan was going to need to talk to her before she left today. From there, he'd make up his mind about what to do with the transfer.

Marshall returned to his seat to see Mary casting glances his way. He didn't really want to make the comments to Stan about Mary and Charlie going on a transfer, but he couldn't live with himself if one or both of them got hurt. Marshall went back into typing up paperwork for the next two hours before getting it all done. Shutting down his computer he got up and collected his keys.

"Where are you going?" Mary asked.

"Home. Mom and Dad are coming tomorrow."

"Are you okay with that?"

"We'll find out. Good luck with the transfer," Marshall replied, before heading towards the elevator.

Mary watched him go before heading into Stan's office.

Stan looked up. "Shut the door, Mary."

Mary shrugged, shut the door and sat in the chair.

"Now what's wrong with Marshall? Are his parents coming here going to help or make things worse?"

"Mary, we need to talk and not about Marshall. Your partner will be fine, I think, as long as his mother is there."

"So what's the problem?" Mary asked confused.

"There has been some concern brought to my attention about you going alone with Charlie on this assignment."

"Marshall's worried about me?" Mary asked. This could be a turning point.

Stan knew she had been thinking the same thing that he had by the small smirk on her face.

"Unfortunately, no. He's more concerned about Charlie's safety with you out in the field. Some of the points he made are very good ones."

"So what Marshall decides to have a melt down and you're questioning my skills?" Mary asked, heatedly.

"Marshall did not have a melt down, Mary. What he had was enough of all of us and the way we treat him. The fact that he has concerns about you taking Charlie on this assignment is enough to make me wonder what exactly he isn't telling me."

"What exactly did he say?" Mary asked, wondering how much damage control there would need to be.

"The things I already knew. The facts are that you have a blatant disregard for following the rules. Marshall and I at least know how you think. Marshall more than me, but we both know how to respond to your actions. Charlie would get eaten alive out there if you go off the book or decide to start something. My problem is that there was something Marshall wasn't telling me and I have a feeling that I need to know. So what did he leave out?" Stan demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mary said, knowing she couldn't tell Stan about the few times her need to blow off steam almost got her in trouble. Marshall had always made sure to keep her out of trouble.

Stan saw that Mary was lying to him.

"Well, then Charlie and I will be transferring the witness. I won't send Charlie out with you until I know the truth. He needs a role model that he can look up to and depend on to follow the rules. Take the rest of the day off and think about all of this. When Charlie and I get back, you and I are going to finish this conversation. "

Mary bit her cheek so she didn't say anything. She was torn on how to react to all of this. In one sense she was pissed at Marshall for telling Stan that she couldn't handle a rookie, and on the other hand she was relieved he hadn't told their boss about some of the problems she got them into. Unfortunately, Stan knew them both well enough see that he wasn't getting the whole picture.

"Fine," Mary snapped irritably, getting up to leave Stan's office.

"Do not stop by Marshall's house along the way to start something and that is an order. He did what he thought was in the best interest of this office."

"Then why does it feel like he stabbed me in the back?" Mary asked, not expecting an answer.

"I don't know. How many times have you put your needs before Marshall's or that of another inspector in order to benefit you in some way? How often have you needlessly endangered your partner while on an assignment?" Stan knew it was a cheap shot, but it was necessary to get Mary to realize that there our consequences to her actions.

Mary didn't reply. She headed towards her desk to grab her keys before leaving.

Stan watched Mary get on the elevator and briefly wondered if there was any hope in salvaging her and Marshall's partnership. If this kept up they would be tearing each other apart and nothing would be left. Stan knew that what he did this time was right. The only bit of hope he had was Marshall didn't tell him what Mary had done, but it was obviously going to need to be addressed. He had a feeling things were going to get worse before or if they every got better.

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Mary had stopped at Marshall's deciding to ignore Stan's warning. Marshall had damn well better talk to her. He had the information that could end her career.

Parking in Marshall's driveway, she took a deep breath before getting out of the car and heading towards the door. Not feeling comfortable with just walking in anymore, she rang the doorbell.

Marshall heard the doorbell and hoped it wasn't his parents. He still needed to straighten the house up a little more. Yet every time he started to he could hear Stan's voice in his head telling him that his Dad really just wanted to see him. If he left the place as it was he could test that theory. The problem was he wasn't sure he could deal with the outcome.

"Coming," Marshall yelled, when he heard the doorbell again. Opening the door he was surprised to see Mary standing there. "I thought you were leaving."

"So did I, until Stan benched me. Are you trying to get me fired? Is that what you're talk to him was about?" Mary asked, heatedly.

"No, what I was trying to do is make sure Charlie and you come home alive. He's green and you know it. The crap that you can pull on a job without him knowing how to respond could get him or you killed. The problem is you don't think before you act and unlike those of us who've learn to adapt to you and your ways, Charlie doesn't have that skill and learning on the fly with you as a teacher, will have us attending at least one funeral."

"You really think that little of me?"

"Mary, you can ignore the facts like you usually do or you can step up to the plate and admit that you throw caution into the wind at a moment's notice if you think it will work. The problem is you can't take a rookie out in the field and expect them to know that. You're not even going to give that consideration when you go by the seat of your pants. I told Stan that he needed to send a veteran or himself with you. I never told him to bench you. This more than likely means that he asked you a question and you lied to him. Stan knows us both enough to know when we're covering for one another or one of us is lying. You want to blame someone for getting benched, look in the mirror."

Mary stared at Marshall and for the first time she began to wonder exactly what he thought of her. It had never mattered to her before what someone else thought, but Marshall mattered. This whole mess needed to be resolved She promised to confess every sin if it meant fixing this, but slipped into an old familiar pattern instead.

"Screw you, Marshall. Just because you're incapable of thinking outside of the box, doesn't mean it's a bad thing. How many times has it helped us out? Step up to the plate? When are you going to? You're not good enough for the old man so you decide to take it out on me. It's no wonder your Dad expects you to fail at this job," Mary yelled, defensively.

Marshall felt himself recoil at the words. The self doubt returning, but he refused to back down. He was tired of Mary's one way street.

"How many times have you damn near gotten us killed with one of your scatterbrained ideas? Some of them work, but how many have backfired? When are you going to tell Stan about the times you jeopardized yourself in order to get laid while we are out of town? How about the time you told Raph what we do for a living? I may never be good enough for any of you, but I sure as hell never endangered the job or the witnesses to get an itch scratched. The fact of the matter is Raph was your boy toy. You may have cared about him, but you were never in love with him. You hung Raph out to dry and pretended to love the man when you don't have a clue what love is. You wanted a chance at normal so you latched onto him and assumed that you'd find out what it was like to be in a real relationship. The only thing that will ever give you a shot at normal is if you start dealing with your abandonment issues. Everything is always about you and as long as you get what you want or think you want, you don't give a damn about who you hurt along the way.

Brandi wasn't wrong in that argument about you making everything about you. It's exactly the truth and that is why you were so mad at her. The only problem is that it's not just about you. The Shannon family has an unusual knack for bringing everyone else involved in their lives into the family drama. How much of the Government's money have you wasted on your family? You're still trying to prove to the world that you won't fail or be like your Father. You wear his abandonment as a shield and use it as an excuse for your behavior. I'm tired of your excuses. It's time for you to grow up, Mary. You need to accept the past and learn to move on from it instead of clinging to it."

"Up yours, Marshall," Mary replied, heading towards the door.

"That's right, Mary. Run like you always do. It's the one thing that you're good at," Marshall said, right before she slammed the door behind her.

Marshall heard the car sputter to life and the screech of the tires as she left his house. His words had been uncharacteristically cruel. The words were that of a bitter man and he didn't want to become that. Now he doubted they could even be partners. Picking up his cell he dialed Stan.

"McQueen."

"Stan, this is Marshall. When you return from the transfer, we're going to need to talk about my transferring out of Albuquerque. I can't stay here or there will be nothing left of me."

"What are you talking about?" Stan asked, his concern growing.

"I can't do this anymore. Not here and not near my family. It's time for me to go somewhere that I can breathe. I'm going to look at the openings and we can discuss where would be the best place for me."

"The best place for you is here, Marshall. You and I both know that you're set up to take over for me when I retire."

"I won't last that long."

"Marshall, what about switching partners? You can train Charlie the right way and I'll get Mary a different partner. Think about it before you do anything rash," Stan replied. Mary must have stopped by and made things worse. He should've known she wouldn't listen to him.

"I want to get away from here, Stan. You said I put everyone else's needs before mine. Well, this is what I need to do. I need to get away from all of you."

"We'll talk when I get back, but I won't sign any of the papers until we discuss this thoroughly."

"Fine," Marshall replied, hanging up.


	8. Chapter 8

Stan was ready to shoot Mary. She pointedly disobeyed his order and made things worse. Hitting speed dial he impatiently waited.

"Shannon."

Stan could tell by her voice that she was upset, but right now he didn't care. He was going to have to find out what she did and then suspend her until he returned to the office so that Marshall would be left alone.

"Did I or did I not tell you to stay away from Marshall?" Stan snapped.

"What, his feelings got hurt so he came crying to you?" Mary asked, irritated.

"No, he called and asked for a transfer. I'm assuming he told you something you didn't like and you spewed insults rather than listen to what he had to say. Now all he wants is to get away from all of us. Are you proud of yourself? What the hell did you say to him?" Stan demanded.

Mary heard that Stan was pissed and Marshall's transfer request scared her. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to. What kind of damage are we talking about?" Stan asked, trying to get his temper under control.

Mary told Stan what she had said. She was also aware that Stan was trying to curb his anger at her.

"So you got us all back to square one. You're suspended until I get back. I don't want you going anywhere near the office or Marshall. That's an order. You break this one I'll suspend you indefinitely until I get you transferred out. After all he's done for you, this is how you treat him when he's struggling? Tell me, what you were thinking?"

"I wasn't. He said things that pissed me off and I responded as I always do."

"There lies the problem. You need to get your head on straight over the next three days. You and I are going to sit down for a very long conversation. With any luck, Marshall will take the offer to train Charlie instead of a transfer. If he leaves, we're not going to get him back and neither is his family."

"I'll stay away from Marshall until you get back."

"You're going to stay away from Marshall until he says otherwise. This isn't about you, Mary, so don't make it out to be."

"That's kind of hard when it's your life's choices he's insulting."

"Think about what you just said, Mary, and relate it to how you've treated Marshall over the years." Stan said.

Mary dropped her head onto her steering wheel before her shoulders shook with the sobs that finally escaped. She had known she screwed up the second she retaliated. The problem was Marshall's words had hurt her, even though could not deny the truth. She briefly wondered when she'd learn to stop destroying everything good in her life.

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Marshall stared at the empty desk across from him. Stan sent him an email that Mary had been suspended until Stan returned for disobeying a direct order. It was Stan's way of trying to level the playing field. All sides would be treated equitably.

This led Marshall to believe that Stan was trying to do what he had promised him. Now he had a decision to make. Was it enough to make him stay? In one sense the idea of being able to help train Charlie appealed to him. He could mold him into a good inspector. It would be fun to take someone under his wing. But what happened when the training was over? Would he work with Mary again? He would need to ask Stan several questions before he could give him a firm answer. Leaving everyone behind still appealed to him immensely and he had a feeling that once he picked his parents up at the airport it would become an even stronger urge.

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Mary sat in her living room, staring at the empty wall. It reminded her of how she felt at the moment. She should have known better then to go over and take frustration out on Marshall when he was at such an emotional low. His words had stung more than she ever thought words could.

Her mind drifted to the speech he had given her before she left for Mexico with Faber. It was adding salt to a wound, but she didn't care. Faber had given her what she needed at the time without any strings attached. It had been all about her.

That trip had been a huge mistake. Marshall had plagued her mind when she wasn't with Faber. Yes, Faber scratched an itch, but instead of feeling the satisfaction from good sex, she felt empty inside.

Then why did she agree to see Faber at Christmas time? She hated being alone and he was still an easy lay. Never had she imagined Marshall would call her while he was out of town. It was when Marshall heard her yell at Faber that he hung up on her. It caused the crack in their already strained relationship. He had called her looking for an answer to why he wasn't good enough and that feeling of worthlessness was reinforced when Marshall found out Faber was there. The tryst wasn't worth the loss of her only friend or the damage that followed since.

Mary swiped at the tear that streaked down her face as she recalled Marshall's words at his house. Everything he said was true. He called her on her bullshit and she hit him with the words that would do the most damage. Mary knew the only way to even begin to fix her and Marshall was by fixing her first.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. A brief flash of hope spread through her that maybe Marshall had realized she'd just be retaliating for him hurting her feelings.

"Mary, what are you doing home? I was surprised to see your car when I came to return your lamp. Thanks, by the way."

"Just set it anywhere," Mary replied, trying to wipe the tears away.

Brandi saw Mary swiping her face.

"What's wrong and why aren't you at work?" Brandi asked.

"Three day suspension," Mary replied.

"What did you do? I didn't think Stan would ever suspend you." Brandi was under the impression that Mary had her boss wrapped around her pinky. "I'm sure Marshall could talk him into shortening it."

"Marshall won't help me at all right now."

"Mary, that doesn't even make sense. Marshall would do anything for you."

"Brandi, I've treated Marshall like crap and hurt him more than I can possibly begin to explain. You can only kick a person so many times before they've had enough," Mary replied in frustration.

"You broke Marshall?" Brandi asked, trying to get her head wrapped around what Mary was telling her.

Mary finally broke down and told Brandi what happened since Christmas Eve. She left out a few of the details, but Brandi got the gist of the story.

Brandi bit her lower lip not knowing what to say. There was really nothing Mary wanted to hear in this situation. Marshall had told Mary how he felt the only way he could without her running for the hills and she bolted anyways. But, there was one thing Brandi didn't get.

"If Marshall doesn't trust this Faber person, why do you? You've always said Marshall has really good instincts. Why run off with a guy he clearly doesn't like? If you needed sex, I'm sure you could have just picked up some guy in Mexico. It almost sounds like you intentionally set out to hurt Marshall." Brandi waited and hoped she didn't get shot for asking.

Mary stared at Brandi for a moment. She didn't have an answer to that question. She panicked and ran. Did she really set out to hurt Marshall? She hated it when other people hurt him, but why was it okay for her to do it.

"Of course I trust his instincts," Mary replied defensively.

"You're avoiding the important part of the question. Why?" Brandi insisted.

"I wouldn't hurt him on purpose."

"Yet, you did. Until you can answer the why you did it, you're going to have problems. Look, I know I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, but even I can see that you're not oblivious about Marshall's feelings. You treat him like dirt because you feel the need to protect your heart from everyone. I think Marshall has at least earned your trust. He's not the one who broke your trust. We both know who did that. Dad's leaving did some serious damage to you. That doesn't make it right for you to hurt those who care about you because you afraid. If you can't treat him with the respect that he has earned from you, then maybe you need to let him go so that at least one of you can have a happy life. There are many women out there who would give anything for a guy like Marshall. He's a rare find."

Mary watched Brandi leave the house. She sat staring at the blank wall again. The truth of the matter was, she couldn't let Marshall go. She needed him by her side through the good and the bad. She wasn't sure that she could survive without him.

Mary's inner war raged until she finally realized what she had to do. Pulling out a card she had buried awhile ago she dialed the number.

"This is Shelley Finkle. How can I help you?"

"This is Mary Shannon. You said if I needed to talk things out, I could call you. I think I need to. Our previous sessions weren't enough."

Mary scheduled the appointment and hung up. She had talked to Shelley a couple of times since the accident as promised, but soon found herself not wanting to say anything else. The things she didn't want to talk about were the exact things she needed to if she was going to figure out why she kept hurting the most important person in her life. Fix yourself and then fix Marshall she chanted internally. It would be the only way to make things better.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall left work early to meet his parents. They had insisted on renting a car so they could go sightseeing while he was at work. He had stopped half way through rearranging the house and given in to what Stan had said. Worst comes to worst, he would know that his father didn't approve. What else was new?

He was nervous when he pulled into the driveway. Knowing what his Dad had said at the hospital and believing it were two different things. Now, that the moment of truth arrived, all he could hear were Mary's words. Rubbing his hands over his face, he got out [of the car] and prepared to plaster a fake smile on his face. His Mom he wouldn't have to force anything with. She had always accepted him for who he was, but Dad was a whole different story and he highly doubted enough had changed to warrant anything less than suspicion.

As soon as he closed the door, his Mom came in for a hug.

"Marshall, how are you?" Rachel asked.

Seth studied his son and knew something wasn't right. The tension was visible in both his jaw and the way he carried himself. He had hoped for things to improve, but from the look of his son they hadn't. Talking to Marshall now might not be the best idea. The biggest thing he had to keep reminding himself was to not say anything wrong. He didn't want to critique his son or give him the impression he was displeased with him. It wouldn't fix the problem. What he needed to do was learn who is son really was. It was a sad statement about their relationship that he needed to ask. A father was supposed to know these things.

"Dad," Marshall greeted, after his Mom pulled back.

"Marshall, good to see you again," Seth replied.

Marshall nodded before leading his parents into his house. Once they were settled he took them out to dinner.

When they came back to the house, Seth sat down in the recliner next to the sofa where Marshall was sitting. Rachel had excused herself for the night. He knew it was so that he and Marshall could talk.

"What's wrong, Marshall?" Seth asked, concerned.

"Nothing," Marshall replied, wondering if he could excuse himself to his bedroom for the night.

"Son, please. If we are ever going to be able to know each other then we're going to need to be able to talk to each other. Why don't I start this off and explain about Christmas Eve?"

Marshall just nodded in agreement before calculating how long he needed to stay up before he could escape to the confines of his bedroom.

Seth didn't miss the look of longing that his son cast at the hallway. Something had definitely happened and it wasn't good. Unfortunately, it seemed that anything that went wrong with one person would push Marshall away from all of them.

"We'll get back to Christmas Eve later. Marshall, tell me what happened. Tell me why you look like the only thing you want to do is get away from me. What's changed?"

Marshall could feel the anger boiling up inside of him. He wasn't sure if it was because of what Mary said or his father's need for an open line of communication. It was probably a combination of both, but before he could stop himself, he found himself spewing out the angry words he had kept locked inside for years.

"Why do you even care? Why are you really here? Is it because Mom wants to keep us all together or is there some other ulterior motive? You want to talk about what happened Christmas Eve, then why don't we talk about all of the Christmas Eve's and every other family get together before that? I finally have enough and suddenly you want to be my father again? You haven't been there for me since I was seven. Your world consisted of Gavin and Kyler. I never measured up. Not once did you ever consider what I needed. It was always about what you wanted for me. I'll never be them and I don't want to be. So let's just be honest with each other and admit that no matter what we try, I'll always be the son who fell short."

Rachel had heard the shouting from the bedroom and hurried down the hallway.

"Marshall, sweetie…"

Marshall turned towards his mother.

"Don't. Don't defend their actions. Or have you been secretly ashamed of me? Why is all you ever did, was call me from a room or try and buffer when they were on my case? You never once stood up for me all of these years. Why? We're you embarrassed to have me as a son too?"

Seth stood up to stop Marshall from yelling at his mother, but Rachel stopped him. She knew full well it would destroy any chance of them solving their problem and they would lose Marshall forever.

"Marshall, look at me," Rachel demanded. When he complied, she saw a look that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Her son was lost and hurt and every ounce of his pain was visible in those beautiful eyes.

"I should have said something to your brothers and father. I know, I should have. You seemed to take it in stride and I never realized how much it hurt you. You're my youngest and it hurts me to see you in so much pain. I have never and will never be ashamed of you. You were our precious gift! You've grown into one of the kindest, most caring people that I have ever met. I never told you that because I always thought you knew. I never intended to cause you pain. Talk to us, please, let us in so we can help you. You're eyes have always sparkled with so much life. I want that look back and for you to be happy. Please tell us what you need," Rachel pleaded, tears steaming down her face.

"I need to know why. Why am I failing to meet all of your expectations? Why am I never enough for anyone?" Marshall asked.

"Marshall, you've never failed any of us. You have always proven yourself more than capable of doing things that I never thought possible. What I saw as a weakness has turned into one of your biggest strengths. You haven't failed us. We've obviously failed you," Seth replied.

Marshall ran a hand over his face. He knew he couldn't do this anymore tonight.

"It's getting late. I have work tomorrow. If you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight, Marshall," his parents replied simultaneously.

Once Marshall was in his bedroom Seth looked to Rachel.

"I'm going to try and talk to Mary. I think we've just taken several steps backwards."

"I'll try to talk to Marshall, but this is the first time he's questioned me. I'm scared, Seth. I'm really scared," Rachel said.

"I'm worried too," Seth admitted before they headed off to bed.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth walked into the kitchen the next morning to find coffee already brewed for them and a note that Marshall had already left for work. Seth sighed. He had hoped to catch his son before he left.

Seth still had Mary's phone number from the time of Operation Falcon and promptly used it. As expected, he reached her voicemail.

"Mary, this is Seth Mann. I was hoping you could call me when you get a chance. I would like to talk to you about Marshall. He seems to be getting worse. His mother and I are very concerned about him. Please call me so we can talk," Seth said, leaving Mary his number.

Rachel had heard Seth talking to someone while she was coming down the hallway. She hoped it was their son, but when she heard Mary's name and that he wanted to talk she knew Marshall wasn't home.

She walked into the living room to see Seth staring out the window. Rachel wanted her son back, but was beginning to lose hope. She had never seen him so hurt and confused before.

"How soon before Mary calls back?" Rachel asked.

"Depends on their workload. I still don't know how we got to this point. I realize that there is a lot that Marshall keeps inside, but I never expected it to fester into this."

"We're losing him Seth. We can't lose him, but I'm not even sure how to keep him anymore. We've never supported him the way he needed. I don't want Marshall to become a stranger to us."

"I won't give up on him. If I have to follow him to the end of the earth, I'll do it. I can't lose him either, Rachel. I remember how he used to get so excited when I'd come home from work and now he'd rather be a million miles away from me. We need to fix this for all of our sakes, but especially for Marshall. He deserves better than we've ever given him. I know he'll never look at me as he did when he was little. You and Stan may be the only ones left that he'll talk to. He questioned you, but didn't accuse you of anything. Something had to happen for things to change so much since the accident."

"What though? I can't stand seeing him hurt this much."

Seth pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her forehead softly. He wanted to give her reassurances, but at this point he wasn't sure he could honestly say that everything would be okay. That fact that Marshall had questioned Rachel shook Seth to his very core.

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Mary came home from her appointment with Shelley and plopped down on the couch from exhaustion. She had to ignore every urge she had to escape Shelley's office when she arrived.

Mary had to give Shelley credit, the woman didn't hold back with what they were going to have to do. She warned Mary that she would have to touch on her emotional issues or nothing would ever change. She also recommended at some point that a duo session with Marshall. Mary didn't say anything because she wasn't even sure Marshall would still be around for that.

The silence of the house was making her edgy for some reason. For as long as she had hoped to have that luxury, right now it wasn't allowing her to relax. Realizing she hadn't checked her cell phone for messages after her session with Shelley, Mary opened it to find she had two missed voicemails.

The first call was from Stan, Mary almost cringed when he said that he and Charlie would be back early today and he would be coming over her house for a discussion. Her day was definitely going to get worse. Moving on to the next message, she was both surprised and concerned to hear Seth's voice. Mary could hear the worry in his tone and knew that the family get together must not have started off well. Mary knew a lot of that was her fault. She dialed Seth at the same time the doorbell rang.

Mary opened the door to see Stan waiting for her and not looking overly happy to see her. She wished that she could blame him for that, but couldn't.

"Stan."

"We need to talk, Mary."

Mary nodded in agreement and stepped aside to let Stan into the house. Stan headed into the living room and took a seat in the chair next to the sofa. Mary signaled for him to wait a moment and mouthed "Seth".

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Seth was sitting in Marshall's living room, waiting impatiently for Mary to call. He couldn't seem to stop thinking about last night and his fear that they were going to lose Marshall was growing every second. His cell went off before he could contemplate anything else.

"Mann."

"Seth, this is Mary. You called about Marshall?"

"Are you able to talk or is he with you?"

"Marshall is at work, I'm assuming. I'm out for a few days," Mary replied, unwilling to share that she had been suspended.

"I need to talk to you about Marshall. He's worse than he was since the accident and I need to know what's changed."

"Worse, how?" Mary asked, afraid of the answer.

"He's now questioning Rachel's part in all of this."

"Seth, how did he question her?"

"Mostly why she didn't do anything earlier and if she was ashamed of him too. Something had to happen to change his mood from the little progress we had made. I need to know what that is."

"Why don't you come over to my house in an hour and a half? We can discuss it then," Mary said, giving Seth her address.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary hung up and then turned her attention to Stan. This was going to be a long day for her.

"Would you like something to drink?" Mary asked, hoping to delay this conversation for a few minutes.

"Sit down, Mary. We both know you don't do hostess."

"Look, Stan, before you say anything, I know that I screwed up royally and apparently a lot worse then I had originally thought."

"Why do you say that?" Stan asked concerned.

Mary explained her brief conversation with Seth.

"Damn it, Mary. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was hurt and angry. I wasn't thinking at all. I just wanted to…" Mary stopped, unsure how to continue.

"You just wanted to what? Get your way again. Have Marshall cover up who knows what? Don't like being called out on truths that you don't like to hear? What exactly did you think causing a confrontation would do? Is there something that you said that set us back to square one?"

Mary looked away. She knew exactly where Marshall was inflicted with his sense of failure. She couldn't forget the way he recoiled at her words, but yet continued with his lecture anyways. The worst part was, she realized today during her talk with Shelley that he was protecting not only Charlie, but also her.

Stan could tell by Mary's actions that she knew what she did wrong. The problem was Mary was proud, strong, determined and didn't like to admit when something was her fault.

Mary knew that she was going to have to swallow her own pride if they were going to be able to help Marshall.

"I brought up his father and not being good enough for him and I ran away from him in the end because I was scared to find out how little he thought of me. At least, that's what Shelley thinks."

"Shelley? I thought you stopped seeing her."

"I can't help Marshall if I don't fix me. Part of the problems that he and I are having is me hurting him to protect myself. I know that I need to address all of my issues and not just the ones I'm comfortable talking about. I would rather talk it through with Marshall, but I screwed that up."

"I'm glad you're talking to someone, but you're still suspended and are to stay away from Marshall. While I realize that your defense mechanism kicked in to protect yourself, you should've known better then to go to Marshall. He's hurting and you did more damage when we seemed to be making baby steps in the right direction. If the two of you can't work together, Marshall gets the choice to leave or stay. He has seniority and hasn't disobeyed my orders. I won't punish him because you couldn't keep your temper under control," Stan warned.

"So to make Marshall happy, you're going to change everything at the office," Mary said, defensively.

"No, I'm going to make things fair in the office and you're going to start following the rules like everyone else. I've let you get away with a lot over the years and it's taken a toll. It's not fair to the other inspectors and it's time for a change. You're going to have to learn to tow the line or I will transfer you out. In the meantime, I'll be looking for a new partner for you."

"I don't want a new partner."

"Then you should've thought of that before you went to Marshall's," Stan replied, getting up to leave.

"Isn't Marshall going to be suspicious that Charlie's in the office and you're not?" Mary asked, before Stan left.

"I gave Charlie the day off so he wouldn't. I needed to talk to you first to know what kind of damage you did. Now I have to convince Marshall not to leave. For all of our sakes, I hope this works. If he leaves, Mary, we won't get him back. You and I still need to discuss what Marshall didn't tell me. We can do that at the office when you return."

Mary nodded, opened the door and watched until Stan backed out of the driveway.


	9. Chapter 9

Marshall continued to try working on his pile of forms begging for completion in his in box. The problem was he couldn't concentrate. One part of him was feeling guilty for snapping at his mother and the other was trying to figure out if he was wrong.

He had spent the morning looking for opportunities within the Marshals Service. The farthest places he was able to find were Alaska, Guam, Seattle and the Virgin Islands. All of them would allow him to put plenty of distance between him and his family, Stan and Mary.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the elevator ping. Looking up he was surprised to see Stan. The chief wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow.

"Stan, everything go okay?" Marshall asked.

"Everything went fine. Could you please step into my office?"

Marshall took a deep breath and let it out before standing up to follow Stan into the office. He shut the door before taking the seat that Stan indicated.

"We need to discuss our conversation," Stan said.

"You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow. I still haven't made my decision. I have looked up the opportunities available and the locations that I'd consider transferring to," Marshall replied, honestly.

"I realize that Mary said something to upset you even after I told her to stay away from you which is why she's suspended. While I'd normally take myself out of this and let your argument stay between the two of you; I'm making an exception in this case because it affects this office. I apologize if you think this is inappropriate, but I feel that there isn't any choice in the matter.

Mary knows that what she said was wrong, inappropriate and hurtful. We discussed what was said and she has been informed that if she disobeys a direct order again she will be suspended before being transferred. I'm working on trying to make things more balanced here for everyone. It shouldn't have taken this long for that to happen. Mary is also working on dealing with her issues. I would hope that after all of these years at this office you'd be willing to give us a second chance so that we can work things out. If you still think it's in your best interest to isolate yourself from everyone that cares about you we can discuss a possible transfer."

"What happens if I stay and train Charlie and those positions are no longer open? Once Charlie is trained, does he stay my partner or do I get Mary back? I need to know what your expectations are for me if I do stay."

"Where were you looking at?" Stan asked, wondering just how far Marshall was trying to go.

"Alaska, Guam, Seattle and the Virgin Islands," Marshall replied.

That didn't sit well with Stan. He didn't want Marshall leaving at all. He needed to figure out a way to keep him here before he attempted to transfer to places they'd likely never see him again.

"I can't guarantee you those places will still have openings, but I can guarantee that any office would be thrilled to have you. If you don't want Mary as your partner, then we can keep you and Charlie together. I expect you to continue doing the job with the same integrity that you have always done. The only other thing is that there maybe a time when you and Charlie would have to work with Mary. I need to know that you can still do so."

"I can work with her Stan, but I just can't be her partner right now. I'm not sure that I can be her partner again."

"What about your family?"

"That's a different matter, which won't interfere with my job."

"If you need to talk to me, you know that my door is always open. I'm still not completely sure where you lost complete faith in me, but I hope you know that I will be here for you if you need me," Stan said.

"Thank you. Is there anything else or can I get back to my paperwork?"

"For now, that's all," Stan replied, watching Marshall go back to his desk. He wasn't sure what to think about all of this. The only sign of hope he had was Marshall did want to know what a future would be if he trained Charlie.

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Mary waited for Seth to arrive. She was not looking forward to this conversation. They both had a lot to answer to Marshall for. It was a combination of the years of both of them combined with his brothers that had finally pushed him to his limits.

Stan had just shown to her that he was going to lay the law down if she stepped out of line. There would be no more looking the other way. A part of her had always known that a moment like this would come, but she hadn't thought it would be Marshall that had caused the change to occur.

The doorbell rang and she stood up to let Seth into her home.

Mary felt anxious about this conversation and briefly wondered how many times Seth intimidated Marshall as a child just by his sheer presence and lack of understanding.

"Something to drink?" Mary asked, realizing she had just done this routine earlier.

"A glass of water," Seth replied, trying to figure out how to broach the subject. There was no room for diplomacy and no matter what happened he still had to admit that the problem stemmed from more than anything that happened here.

Mary gave Seth his water before sitting down on her sofa.

"Mary, what happened to Marshall? I thought after the accident we began making progress with him. He seemed okay with Rachel and I coming here. I don't understand how things changed so quickly."

"That would actually be my fault. Marshall was already nervous about your visit. He expects the failure report card from you every time he sees you. It's what he knows. Hell, he left early to try to make sure his house was up to your expectations. Before he left though, he had a conversation with Stan that ended up with me being benched from a job, which I couldn't admit was my fault for not telling Stan the truth about a few things. It would actually require me admitting to certain indiscretions," Mary said, before standing up and pacing before continuing.

She wasn't used to being this honest with anyone, but Marshall. This time, she knew that if their relationship were to be fixed they were all going to have to admit their flaws to one another if they intended to reach Marshall.

"I take it you decided to make my son aware of your anger at the situation," Seth replied, with a sigh.

"Marshall hit close to some truths that I didn't appreciate. I responded in my normal manner by striking back the only way I knew."

Seth pinched the bridge of his nose, before releasing a deep breath. He knew exactly what she said because it would have been the same thing he'd have done under the circumstances. It was strangely eerie the similarities between the two and yet their differences were vast. She accepted Marshall for who he was and depended on him.

"I take it my name came up in that conversation," Seth said, unable to hide is frustrations.

Mary just nodded her head in agreement. "What happened last night? Something did because I've never seen you this worried before. I know we've only met a few times, but you have a lot of the same mannerisms and facial expressions as Marshall." Seth pinched the bridge of his nose, before releasing a deep breath. He knew exactly what she said because it would have been the same thing he'd have done under the circumstances. The similarities between the two of them were oddly eerie and yet, their differences were vast. She accepted Marshall for who he was and depended on him.

"I take it, my name came up in that conversation," Seth said, unable to hide is frustration.

Mary nodded her head in agreement. "What happened last night? Something did because I've never seen you this worried before. I know we've only met a few times, but you have a lot of the same mannerisms and facial expressions as Marshall."

"I tried to talk to Marshall last night about what happened on Christmas Eve, but I could see him looking to escape. I changed the subject and he snapped. Not that the words he said were untrue because they were. Rachel came out to try and calm Marshall down and that's when he questioned her. Marshall is slipping away from us and it has a lot to do with the way that you and I interact with him. We're both a lot alike and don't do this touchy-feely stuff at all. Marshall is going to need us to, if we are going to have any chance at keeping him from locking himself away from us. I need to know how far you're willing to go to help Marshall. If you can't do what needs to be done in order to get him to give us another try, then I need you to walk away from him."

"No way in hell, am I giving up on Marshall. You aren't going to bully me into it either. Anything you throw my way, I guarantee that I can take it and fling it back twice as hard. I'm doing my part by working on my issues. I know that I can't help him until I help myself. Can you? Are you willing to admit your flaws when it comes to Marshall? Will you actually admit that you isolated your son because he wasn't like you, but yet has managed to succeed in a world you deemed him unfit for? Can you intervene and deal with the sons you do understand, holding them accountable for the way they continually harass him? Marshall needs us all to stop teasing and picking on him for the things that make him the special person he is. I'm willing to fight to get him back. Are you?" Mary asked heatedly.

"I have no intention of letting my son slip completely away from me. I realize that there are changes needed to be made by all of us where Marshall is concerned. Yes, Gavin and Kyler are easier to understand. Trying to change Marshall from who he was, turned out to be a really bad decision on my part. I did it because I wanted to protect him, but in the end, I hurt him more than I ever thought possible. You're going to need to curb your temper when talking to Marshall. It may be part of who you are, but he cannot handle it right now. He needs someone he can trust, and after last night, I'm beginning to think that person is Stan."

"Stan's accepted Marshall for who he is. He had always let Marshall tell him the trivia none of us had the patience for and an open door policy for coming to talk to him whenever he needed it. You and I have a tendency not to do that for him. We've both taken him for granted and that would have to stop. We need Marshall to be willing to give us time to change. We're not going to overnight."

Seth couldn't help but smirk a little at that. "Stan's been more of a father to Marshall then I have."

"Look, I'm probably going to step over normal boundaries here, but since nothing is normal any more I'm doing it. Marshall needs you to accept him for who he is, which you already know. You actually need to learn to talk to him and not at him. Don't judge him by your standards and, for once, try and understand him and show interest in what he likes, instead of criticizing it because it's not up to your standards."

"Are you going to figure out how you feel about my son? You know how he feels about you and yet, you choose to look the other way. If you can't be what he needs then let him know so he can move on. Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. You admitted it, the second you said you broke his heart. Are you trying to protect him or yourself? I may not know what your past is, but it's obvious from your behavior that someone has hurt you deeply and you build up walls to protect yourself. I'm guessing that you care about my son more than even you've realized or admitted to yourself. He's not the person who hurt you and would he ever be. Marshall is loyal to a fault. You did something to break his trust and somehow I doubt it was an accident. We both have hard truths to face about ourselves and how our behavior affects Marshall. Don't hurt him anymore than you already have," Seth said, getting up from the couch.

They both had a lot of thinking to do about everything that has been said.

Mary watched Seth as he walked to the door. He didn't look like the man she met during Operation Falcon. She knew it had to have been tough on Marshall, growing up in a home where failure really was an expectation and measuring up to Seth's standards for Marshall would have been impossible, but the one thing Mary realize about Seth was that he loved his son. He just didn't know how to show it. It was the biggest similarity they shared.

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Marshall arrived home from work to see the rental car gone. Walking into the house he could smell the food in the oven and someone puttering in the kitchen. Knowing full well that his Dad wouldn't be cooking that meant his Mom was home and his Dad off somewhere.

"Mom?"

Rachel had heard the front door open and could tell by the steps it was Marshall. After last night, she really didn't have a clue on how to deal with her son. The fact that he was having doubts about her had scared her and she'd slept horribly last night.

"In the kitchen," Rachel called out.

"Where's Dad?" Marshall asked, walking into the kitchen.

"He ran out for a little while. How was work?"

"Boring, working catching up on paperwork. Still haven't been cleared for the field yet," Marshall replied.

"Can we please go out to the other room and talk about last night? The food is cooking and won't be done for another hour."

"Let me change first, and I'll meet you there."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Rachel watched as Marshall headed down the hallway. She just hoped that he would hear what she was saying and not just the words spoken. They needed to get his barriers lowered in order for them to have a chance at restoring their relationship. They would need to finish their conversation before Seth got back. If Marshall felt the need to raise his voice to be heard, then so be it. If her husband was here, she didn't trust him not to think before responding to whatever their son said. It worried her that it would be the final blow and Marshall would leave them all behind.

Unwilling to let her thoughts travel down that road, she took a seat and waited patiently for Marshall. The sound of his bedroom door opening has her sitting up straight.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall had debated about changing as slowly as possible, but figured it was best to have this conversation before his Dad returned. Marshall was surprised that his father hadn't intervened last night.

Marshall rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease some of the tension, as he sat on the sofa across from his Mom.

"You wanted to talk," Marshall said, softly.

"I need to know why you would think that I could ever be ashamed of you. Have I done something to give you that impression? You were right that something should have been said years ago by both me and your father. It seemed that the words didn't affect you and that you realized that your brothers were teasing you. I'm sorry that I didn't stop it. I should have when it first started. For that I am truly sorry. The last thing I ever want to do was to cause you pain. I love you, Marshall Mann, and I have never been ashamed of you. I'm very proud to call you, son."

"Why didn't you stop it? You always said we weren't supposed to disrespect others and yet, you let Gavin and Kyler do it every day since high school. What am I supposed to think? I just don't get why no matter what I do it's not enough. How come everyone else got what they wanted and I was left out in the cold? I've gone through life following the rules, being the nice guy, trying to be understanding and patient and all I get is dumped on for it. Everyone else breaks or plays by their own rules and end up getting something good. What's wrong with me?" Marshall asked, his voice choking on the last word.

Rachel watched as the tears formed in Marshall's eyes and it broke her heart. Getting up, she moved next to him and pulled him into a hug as he finally released some of the pain that had been bottled up for how long, she wasn't sure.

"If I had any clue how much damage we were doing to you, I would have stopped it. I guess, I thought you would finally tell them to shut up and put an end to it. There is nothing wrong with you, Marshall. One day, you'll get everything that you deserve. Sometimes it takes longer for what we want to fall into place. Please don't give up hope, my sweet boy. Your turn at happiness will come. I promise you. You'll have what you need in time."

Rachel moved so Marshall could spread out on the couch with his head in her lap, like they had done when he was little and hurt. She gently stroked his back while whispering reassurances into his ear, until Marshall finally cried himself to sleep.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth had driven around the city trying to get his head cleared. Mary had some valid points about how he needed to change. He had almost called Stan to see if he could find out how he had become a father figure to Marshall. It had been so easy with Kyler and Gavin. Marshall had always been the sensitive one, and he had never known how to respond to that. His father had taught him that it was a weakness. Seth had learned that it wasn't during Operation Falcon. Marshall's ability to be compassionate and understanding had helped them solve the case. It shed a new light onto his youngest son that for some reason he had overlooked all of these years.

Seth couldn't help but think back to Christmas Eve. Marshall and Mary were both right that he shouldn't have yelled at Marshall for defending himself. He honestly was just trying to stop a blow up before they had upset the children at their family gathering. This whole thing was revealing things about his own shortcomings that didn't feel good. He had let Marshall down time and time again. Hell, he had even joined in on the teasing in years past. What kind of father does that to his own son? Ashamed, that word still haunted him. The only person he was ashamed of was himself and his two eldest sons.

Seth pulled into the driveway. He stared at the house and wondered what he would be walking into tonight. Sensitive was the one thing he didn't do well and he was going to have to learn how and quickly. All the things he had been taught by his own father were to be pushed aside. He was going to start from scratch and make sure he found a way to relate to Marshall. A father should know his son. The fact that he didn't was his greatest failure.

Sighing, Seth finally got out of the car and entered the house. Seeing Rachel on the couch with Marshall's head in her lap, had him concerned. He knew it was the way she had comforted him when he was little and hurting. Their bond had always amazed him.

"Is Marshall okay?" Seth asked softly, not wanting to wake Marshall up.

"No. I'm not sure that we're the right people for him to be talking to either. An outsider who isn't emotionally involved might be his best bet. He opened up a little, but I don't know how to help him boost his self esteem. It's like he's giving up on all his hopes and dreams. He finally hit his limit and doesn't know where to start to pick up the pieces of his heart that we all shattered."

"What do you suggest besides talking to a professional?"

"I suggest that we all learn to listen to him. Be open and honest and try to make him realize that we do love him and always have. We all need to stop attacking him personally on the things that matter to him. We need to be much better to him than we have been. The only thing we can't do for him is find a way to get him to stop burying everything inside. It's not healthy."

Seth nodded and looked at his wife closely for the first time. "Are you okay?"

"No, I won't be okay until his eyes shine with that spark for life he always had. I want to take away his pain and make it all better. It's not like when he was little and I could kiss all his troubles away. I don't know how to heal this heartache. I despise the fact that we hurt him this badly. Things need to change in our family and they need to start changing _now_."

"They will," Seth said, walking over to Rachel and Marshall. He laid a hand lovingly on Marshall's head. "They'll change. Whatever is necessary will be done."

Rachel's tear filled eyes looked up at her husband. "You never touch him, when he's awake. You need to show him that you care. The two of you have become so distant. You're going to have to make the first move."

"I will," Seth said, before kissing Rachel's forehead.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary began pacing her living room floor after Seth left. His words, her actions and a whole lot of memories played in her mind. Her own realization was also messing with her head. She loved Marshall, but she still didn't want to admit it. She knew if she did that, then her heart would be torn to shreds if he left. That kind of pain she couldn't handle. To lose the only person that she'd ever let into her heart enough to know her would be like losing her father all over again. Yet, somehow, she had a feeling this time it would be even worse. There wouldn't be any question as to why Marshall left.

It was in that instant, Mary finally realized that the pain she was trying to protect herself from was the same pain she had inflicted on Marshall. All the times she discussed her one night stands, Raph, Faber or, hell, even Eps, she had torn a bigger whole in Marshall's heart. In the beginning years of their partnership, before she had met Raph, Marshall had prevented the police from called when her choice for the evening wanted more then a quickie in the backroom and didn't want to take no for an answer. Somehow, her partner appeared to defuse the situation and convince the bar owner not to press charges. She had a feeling he paid for the damage that had been done. He was always protecting her and losing another piece of himself along the way. She had been blind to his loyalty, compassion, friendship and feelings.

She couldn't lie to herself anymore. The speech after her engagement was the one and only time Marshall had actually said the words, but she knew full well how he felt. What the hell kind of person did that make her? It was no wonder he didn't want anything to do with her. If he had done that to her she would've been destroyed. As it is, she couldn't stand to share him with another woman. She had always been jealous any time one had shown interest in him. Faber was his final straw, and justifiably so. Mary knew that Marshall didn't trust the man, but she played with Faber anyways. Things were never the same after that and how could they be? Marshall laid his heart out for her and she stomped all over it without a single thought. Everything was supposed to go back to the way it was before she left on her vacation. It never did and now she might not be able to salvage the friendship she had cherished above all other things.

Mary finally sat on the sofa, dropped her head into her hands and sobbed for hurting Marshall, for all the things she had ever said or done to him. When she finally calmed down she prayed for one more chance to get things right.

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Marshall woke up to find himself in a position he hadn't been in since he was nine and had broken his arm. A huge part of him was embarrassed by the fact he had fallen asleep with his head in his mother's lap after breaking down, but there was also a sense of peace he hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe they had been right and he needed to stop bottling things up so much. A few seconds later, he remembered his father was there and tried to sit up quickly.

"Marshall, take it slowly. You just woke up and no one here cares that you were sleeping," Rachel tried to reassure him.

"I'm an adult, Mom. Not a little kid who should be sleeping with his head in your lap," Marshall replied, firmly.

"You needed the rest and the release of emotions. You felt safe with your mother as you should. Are you hungry?" Seth asked, not wanting to dwell on the situation not knowing how Marshall would react.

"I could eat," Marshall replied, surprised his Dad didn't tell him he was overreacting.

"I'll get the meal out," Seth said, wanting to give Marshall a few more minutes with Rachel.

Marshall watched as his Dad headed back into the kitchen before turning to his Mom.

"Sorry about crying. You shouldn't have to deal with that."

"Don't ever be sorry for having feelings, Marshall. They are a part of you. Being able to let them out or share them with others is a wonderful thing. Don't ever change who you are because you think it's what we want. We love you the way you are. Sometimes we just need to realize that it should be shown more often," Rachel said, before hugging her son.

Marshall closed his eyes and relished the feeling of safety and security he had always felt when wrapped in his mother's arms. He felt bad for doubting her, but he needed the confirmation. This whole thing had him off balance. A part of him already knew he would need to see Shelley about the accident, but he was going to need to talk to her about a whole lot more before he would even trust himself to keep his head clear out in the field.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan was going to pack it in for the night, when he realized he still needed to talk to Mary about whatever had happened in the past that had Marshall concerned for Charlie's safety. He needed to know that before he found another partner for Mary. He had a feeling that it would have to be off the record and to stay that way, but he also was going to make sure that if any of it was as bad as his gut was telling him, that Mary would have to know she had to tow the line or there would be consequences.

Deep down, Stan had faith that Mary could do what needed to be done and regain Marshall's confidence. It would take time and a lot of effort, but Mary would do it for him. He meant the world to her. Stan's fear was that it would be too little too late, as far as Marshall was concerned.

There was hope on that end as Marshall had been concerned about Mary's well being also. The problem was getting them past the pain. The two needed to have a brutally honest conversation before they could move forward. Marshall wasn't up for that yet. Stan knew right now Marshall wouldn't even pass a psych evaluation. His emotions were too caught up in all the drama. Stan needed Marshall to talk to Shelley no matter how much he didn't like it.

Packing up his things, he left the building and turned his car towards Mary's house.

/\\\

Mary woke up when she heard the knocking on her door. She knew it wasn't anyone from her family or they would've just let themselves in. When she opened the door she was surprised to see Stan on the other side.

"Stan, what are you doing here?"

"We only had a partial conversation earlier and I need information from you before picking out a new partner. I wanted to do it when I was off the clock because I have a feeling it needs to be done this way. This is a one shot deal. I won't mention what you tell me again, but you will need to be honest with me about everything. After this discussion happens whatever it is that was done in the past will not repeat itself or there will be consequences for you. Do you understand?" Stan asked.

"Yes," Mary replied hesitantly. She wasn't prepared for this and knew that Stan would be infuriated with her once he knew the truth. As much as she wanted to lie about it, the only way to make things better was to be honest. This was still about gaining Marshall's trust for both her and Stan.

Stan entered as Mary stepped aside. He could tell she didn't want to talk about this by the way she was biting her bottom lip. His instinct was to tell her that it wasn't a big deal and to just forget about it. A brief image of Marshall drunk and angry at the hotel in Vegas flashed in his mind and he knew he couldn't resort to old habits. It wouldn't end well.

"Do you want some coffee, beer, soda or water? I'm not trying to play hostess, but this could take awhile."

"I'm fine. I'd rather get this over with."

Mary could tell Stan wasn't relishing this conversation anymore than she was. It still had to happen so she sat across from her boss and started with the couple of times Marshall bailed her out after a hook up gone wrong.

Stan stared in shock as she relayed the story and how Marshall calmed the bar owner. He figured she was right about her partner paying retribution for the damage done. He felt the tension grow in his shoulder because if this is where she started he was honestly scared to find out where it ended.

Mary saw the look on Stan's face and knew he figured out things were going to get worse.

"How many times, Mary? How many times did you needlessly endanger yourself and Marshall at a bar after a case? You realize if your partner hadn't been able to calm them down that it could've turned into a bar fight. You could have lost your job. Just because you wear a badge it doesn't give you an excuse to ignore the laws and not get penalized for it. Please tell me that somewhere you gained some common sense and haven't repeated this process," Stan said angrily.

"No, I don't do it anymore. I stopped when I started hooking up with Raph on the side."

"Why did you stop and be honest about it?"

"I knew that I could blow off steam with Raph when I got home."

"Did you give Marshall the details on your little get together with Raph?"

"Stan, you're crossing a very personal line there," Mary warned.

"I don't give a damn. I need to know how many years you hurt Marshall. Intentional or not you're a huge factor in this mess and you trampling over his heart year after year adds fuel to the fire. I really don't enjoy having to get into your personal life, but right now we need to in order to help Marshall. You're not dumb or blind so a part of you knew what you were doing and continued to do so anyways, pretending you didn't see what was staring you right in the face."

"I swear I didn't know at first. So yes, I gave him details. Partners talk about things."

"How many relationships has Marshall had over the years?" Stan asked to make a point.

"His old college professor's aide, a coffee date with Shelley and whoever he had a date with the night of my shooting," Mary replied confidently.

"Who else?"

"Those were the only people he saw."

"That you know of. There were others, but he never shared that with you or the intimate details. Why? It's out of respect. How would you have handled it if Marshall flaunted every person he ever saw or had sex with?"

Mary looked at Stan and felt like he'd stabbed her with a knife. The idea of Marshall seeing anyone never sat well with her to begin with, but to hear about their encounters would have bothered her more than she cared to admit.

"Marshall doesn't do casual sex, Stan. The person has to mean something to him before he would get that involved. The only time I ever knew of details is when I grabbed his cell phone," Mary recalled how embarrassed he'd been when she caught him making out with the professor. It also reminded her of the fact that it had really bothered her even though she covered it up. Hell she went to Raph's afterwards to hook up to make sure that uneasiness feeling vanished from her mind along with the images of what the two were going to do and what they had done according to her message on Marshall's cell phone.

"That's the difference between the two of you. Marshall thinks of the consequences and leaves parts of his personal life private. Yet, he still had to listen to you flaunt flings in front of him. I'm assuming there were other bad choices before Raph came along."

Mary nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Do any of these choices affect your job again?"

"Off the record?" Mary asked, just to be sure.

"Yes, we're still off the record and will be until I leave here tonight. You need to face some harsh truths about how your life affects Marshall's. You need to open your eyes if the two of you even have a chance to make it out of this in one piece."

"I slept with Eps and I told Raph about the job," Mary spilled out, not knowing if she could say the words again.

"You did _**what**_?" Stan said, heatedly. Eps he could overlook because he'd made that mistake once although he was at least in love with her, but the other half of the sentence was a huge piece of the puzzle.

"Stan, you heard correctly. It's why Marshall and I were fighting when you were at the conference. He was pissed and rightfully so."

"You realize if this were on the record that you'd be fired? What were you thinking?"

"Raph was pushing about the job. He didn't understand why I couldn't tell him anything. I wanted a chance to have a normal life so I told him and gave him a WITSEC book to help him. It made things worse before the shooting. He was mad and Marshall was mad. I blew off Marshall like usual and justified it by what I needed in my life. Trust me I get the fact that I've given Marshall every reason in the world to walk away from me."

"So you take Faber to Mexico to rub salt into the wound and don't tell me at that point you didn't know what Marshall felt. He told you at the engagement party."

"I know, Stan. I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt and in doing so I hurt Marshall. I know that he's stood by my side through everything and I treated him like dirt. I'm like Seth: both of us love him, but don't know how to show him. I figured that out on my end. Please spare me the lecture about how badly I screwed up. I've seen the pain in his eyes that I helped put there. I damaged Marshall. I admit that I did it. I can't make it right until I can fix me. Do you think there would be any other person that I would go talk to Shelley for? You know how I feel about talking to her, but if it would fix my relationship with Marshall, then I'm willing to bite that bullet."

"At this point, I'm not sure that it will be enough. There are no more second chances here Mary. You need to start following the rules no matter how much you dislike them. I will expect your new partner to report you if you break the rules. You risked your career by sleeping with a witness to scratch an itch. That in itself is bad enough, but risking the security of the job, witnesses and your partner in inexcusable. Your needs do not come above the job. It's time you realized that. Take the rest of the week off and I'll see you on Monday."

"I was only supposed to have one more day of suspension," Mary complained.

"You need the other days off to think about the consequences of all of the things you've done. Do you realize how lucky you are that Raph never said anything? Or what if you were in trouble and someone wanted information in exchange for you? How fast would Raph sell out Marshall for you? Take a long hard look at your past decisions because you will _not_ be making them again. Are we clear?"

"Yes," Mary whispered, she wasn't used to being on Stan's bad side. It wasn't as bad as being on Marshall's, but it came in a close second.


	10. Chapter 10

After dinner, Marshall and his parents sat around, watching a movie. Once it was over, his Mom headed to his guest room, leaving him alone with his Father. He was actually still feeling better since the emotional outburst, but the thought of having a conversation with hid Dad didn't appeal to him. He didn't want the little bit of normal he'd found to disappear.

Seth watched Marshall and knew he was going to have to ask him to stay. His son had been comfortable enough with Rachel in the room, but he could tell Marshall was insecure around him still. Seeing Marshall about to get up, he did the only thing he could think of.

"Marshall, please stay. You and I need to talk. We'll… actually I need to talk and I would appreciate it if you would listen to what I need to say to you."

Marshall didn't want to stay, but he knew that they had to talk and the fact that his father wasn't trying to force him to stay made him a little more at ease. How long that would last he wasn't sure.

"Alright," Marshall replied, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

"I know that you are aware of the fact that I'm not very good at this, but I need to clear the air between us. This conversation is way overdue and for that I'm sorry. Son, I know that I don't tell you that I love you or that I'm damn proud of you. I never meant to give you the impression that I was ashamed of who you are. I was scared for you. What I said during Operation Falcon to you was the truth. All I could think of was that you'd be eaten alive by the cruelties of life if you weren't toughened up. I was wrong that you needed to be. You're a very strong and resilient man. It took me a long time to see that. When you need to, you can be a badass lawman from what I've been told, but it's your ability to empathize to others that makes you who you are. That part of you also makes you a damn fine WITSEC inspector."

"What are you trying to say?" Marshall asked, not sure how to handle all of this information.

"Christmas Eve was a mistake on my part. I wasn't trying to side with Gavin and Kyler. I just didn't want the holiday ruined by a family feud; it was ruined the minute you left. That wasn't your fault either. So please don't think that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is our behaviors made you leave, ruining the holiday. The blame lies with your brothers and me. I've been overbearing, judgmental and unfair to you for a very long time. Right now I'm promising you that I will work on changing my ways and try and become the father you so richly deserve. I'm sorry for all the times that I've hurt you and while I know that I can never make up for the past, I'm hoping that in the future you will one day be able to look at me and not expect a failure report card. The only one who deserves that is me. Despite what you must think, I do love you very much and I'm proud to call you my son."

Marshall stared dumbfounded at his father. He knew that the words that he'd just heard were true, but he still needed answers.

"If you're so proud of me then why did you continually pick on me with Kyler and Gavin? Why didn't you ever try to know me? You spent your time with the cherished sons and walked away from me. I was always your last choice. Why? Why wasn't I good enough for you?"

"The teasing was meant to be in jest and not taken seriously. You seemed to take it in stride and I honestly thought that it wasn't bothering you. It's a lousy reason and it wasn't one of my best moments. It should have been stopped when it started. I'm sorry, Marshall. I know that you don't trust me or my words and that the only thing that I can do is try and show you that I mean it. I know it won't make up for my mistakes in the past, but I hope it can be a step in the right direction for trying to make amends and maybe somewhere in the future being a man that you would want to call Dad."

"Why was I your last choice?"

"My inability to relate to you and your interests and my desire to pull you out to spend time with me and your brothers and I led me to do more with them. It was my hope that you would come out from your books, science fiction and hobbies to hang out with your brothers and I. As you grew up and kept learning knew things we began to drift further and further apart. The distance grew because I refused to learn to understand you and the things you liked. I wanted you to like the exact things that your brothers and I did. Instead of accepting you for who you were I tried to turn you into what I thought you should be. It was wrong, but my concern was that you wouldn't make it in a rough world. It wasn't that I preferred them over you. I just had an easier time relating to them because we had more in common. I was worried encouraging your interest would make life even harder for you. Turning back time to redo all my mistakes would be the only way to fix how I hurt you and since we know I can't do that, I'd like for you and I to get to know each other and to be able to talk to each other about more than your mother's latest knitting projects. You're going to have reasons to doubt my sincerity due to the past and I understand that. What I'm asking and hoping for is a chance to try and close some of the distance between us. Things won't ever be prefect and I'll make mistakes along the way, but, hopefully, we can work through them together instead of letting them fester up inside of you."

Marshall knew this was the longest discussion the two of them had since he was a child. From the look on his father's face he could tell the words were sincere.

"How do I know that you won't resort back to your old habits in time?"

"You don't. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith in life. If I start to stray back to bad habits then you need to tell me so that I can get back on track. I'm not perfect, Marshall, and I won't ever be. It's not something achievable. As humans, we stumble, falter and occasionally fall down in life. We can take the lesson from those times and hope to not repeat the same mistakes again."

"What if you don't like what you see?"

"I already like what I see. Some of your interest in hobbies I don't get, but they require more patience than I can muster. It doesn't mean I like you less because of them. I'm not the blind fool that you've known most of your life. Somewhere along the way, I finally realized that you're fine the way you are and I don't want to change you because of a perceived notion on my part. Operation Falcon was a real eye opener for me. Hell, even your partner defended you to me before I figured it out. My biggest regret in life was the way I pushed you aside instead of trying to accept and understand you. Life doesn't offer guarantees Marshall, but it does present opportunities. I'm hoping this is ours to get to know each other better. You need to think it through and I understand that. Take the time you need and see me when you have the answers. I won't push you into something you're not ready for. Goodnight, Marshall."

"Goodnight, Dad," Marshall replied, thinking over his Dad's words as he watched him head down the hall.

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Mary had tried to go to sleep after Stan left, but bits and pieces of their conversation had continued to plague her mind. Her boss wasn't going to let her get away with her usual antics and was pissed about her telling Raph about the job. Not that she blamed him, but his questions plagued her.

Raph could have divulged information accidentally or to protect her. He wouldn't have understood the ramifications of doing so. This brought her to Marshall's statement about everything being about her. He was right that she didn't talk to him because she knew full well Marshall would've convinced her not to tell Raph. It was done on the spur of the moment and as a way to appease Raph. There was no other reason.

That thought led her to Marshall's shooting and the abandoned gas station. She was distracted and angry about the job offer she'd found. Jumping to conclusions, she didn't give any thought to asking Marshall about it. Once again, it was about her feelings and the rest of the world be damned. These thoughts took her on a trip down memory lane of so many other times that she'd done things without thinking them through.

Then there was her personal life that she had continually drug under Marshall's nose. She hadn't lied about not knowing at first. It didn't occur to her that he might have feelings for her. How many times did she flaunt her and Raph's sex life in front of him after she did realize that the feelings were there? The better question was why. She wasn't stupid, although her decisions suggested otherwise. How many times did she kick Marshall when he was already down? Why did she continually hurt him? Was there more to it then just trying to protect herself? She thought that she'd figured it out earlier, but now she wasn't so sure there wasn't more to it.

Punching the pillow, she closed her eyes and was haunted by nightmares all night long.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall dropped his parents off at the airport Monday morning. He felt a lot better after talking with them. There might actually be some hope for him and his family. He had an appointment this morning with Shelley to talk about the accident and his downward spiral.

Marshall had decided to take his Dad up on his offer and since their heart to heart; they made small steps towards getting to know one another. Their talks had been awkward and filled with uncertainty the first few days. They were both afraid to say something that would either hurt the other or set them back.

Marshall really wasn't sure how many times he could start over. His mother had stepped in to help the communication flow after day one and then stepped back to let them continue. She couldn't fix what was wrong between them, but a little bit of direction had helped out immensely. It was strange to know that while you had been a son to your Dad you didn't know the man as well as you thought you had. His Dad had brought up the time when he was sick and all he had wanted was his mother. She had been out of town and his Dad was doing his best to comfort him.

Marshall had completely forgotten about that. He'd tried to go to school and refused to admit he was miserable fearing that his Dad would say he wasn't tough enough. His Dad called into work after taking one look at Marshall's face when he had walked into the kitchen, threw up all over the floor and almost passed out. Marshall had kept requesting to talk to his Mom as he didn't know what to expect from his Dad. He awoke to find his father sitting in a chair, watching over him with a pile of books that he read to him between his naps.

It was strange how the mind blocked out the good times. It was probably the last time he had spent any significant amount of time together with his Dad. Marshall always thought it was because his Dad was mad that he had to take off from work. Marshall's mind flashed back to that conversation.

"_Why would you remember that day so fondly? I was insistent on wanting Mom and forced you to miss work," Marshall asked. _

"_It was the first time in years that you and I spent the day together without starting an argument. You were so miserable and I didn't know what to do to help you feel better, so I finally called your mother to ask what she did when you were sick. You loved your stories so I grabbed the books you Mom suggested and brought them up to your room. Every time that you woke up, your eyes would light up with a sparkle as the story wove through the various adventures that I was reading. Your mother came up that night when she returned home. After she made sure you were okay and left the two of us together again you looked at me said thank you and started falling asleep. Just before I walked out the door, you told me you loved me. It was the last time I ever heard those words from you. I whispered them back, but you were already out," Seth replied. _

Marshall remembered the sick feeling he had in his gut when his Dad said that. He recalled the words not returned, but hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep before his Dad left the room. It was then he realized that some of his theories about their relationship were based on miscommunication and missed opportunities.

He parked the truck and headed up to Shelly's office, taking the seat as her receptionist told him she was just finishing up with another client.

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Mary was getting frustrated with Shelley. She wanted the damn woman to just tell her how to fix things.

"Look, I already told you I have abandonment issues. What more could you possibly need to know?"

"That's not how this works, Mary, and you know that. I'm here to listen to you and give you direction, but you won't heal unless you deal with your past. That doesn't happen by telling me what your issue is. You need to face what caused it, how you've dealt with it in the past and why you're having so much trouble with it now. You said that you needed to fix yourself so you could become a better person. Only you can make the choice to do this. I can't force you to talk about your past or present. What is the reason you came here? You called me when no one forced you to do that."

"Like you don't know that there are issues going on with Marshall and part of them revolve around me."

Sometimes, Shelley thought that Stan and Marshall had the patience of saints in dealing with Mary. She often found herself frustrated with the woman, sitting across from her.

"What I do or don't know is irrelevant. What matters is whether you really want to change in order to deal with your problems or your coming here is just a show for Stan and Marshall to make them think that you truly want to resolve your issues," Shelley replied, deliberately landing a cheap shot to remind Mary what she had to lose.

"I wouldn't do that to Marshall. It wouldn't fix what is wrong with our relationship. It would only put it on the backburner until it exploded and nothing was left," Mary snapped.

"Then come back in tomorrow and be prepared to talk about your past, Marshall, and anything else that you feel needs to be resolved in order to fix things," Shelley replied, realizing that they were over their time.

Mary looked puzzled that she was being let go with a come back tomorrow until she noticed the time. Sighing in relief, she stood up as she walked towards the door she noticed Shelley following her.

"What if I can't do this?" Mary asked curiously.

"Then you need to be prepared to lose Marshall. According to what you've told me, he's had enough and to get to that point things had to reach a boiling point. There's only so much any one person can take. Everyone has a breaking point, Mary. Even you," Shelley replied, continuing to walk with Mary to the door. She wanted to see the reactions of the partners to see just how bad things had become.

Stan had asked her if there was hope in salvaging the relationship and at this point, Shelley didn't have an answer.

Mary noted that Shelley followed her, but shrugged it off until she opened the door to see Marshall sitting in the waiting room. He looked up as she walked out and the look of surprise on his face told her more than words could.

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Marshall had been sifting through old magazines when the door to Shelly's office opened. To his surprise, Mary and Shelley walked out. There was no good reason for Mary to be here. Stan couldn't force her to come unless she'd done something to warrant an evaluation or had been in an incident at work. He knew neither of those applied since she was suspended.

"Mary," Marshall nodded in acknowledgment when she looked at him.

"Hi, Marshall," Mary said softly. She didn't know how to deal with the man standing in front of her anymore. Not after what she'd done. "I guess I'll see you Monday."

Marshall just nodded in agreement as he watched Mary quickly leave the room.

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Shelley felt the tension between the two and watched as Mary's attention was drawn straight to Marshall. She saw Marshall's shoulders stiffen in tension and Mary's shoulders seemed to slouch in dejection at his response to her presence. Stan had called her because he needed to know if they could still work together even if they weren't partners.

Watching the two interact she understood where his concern stemmed from. She had never seen the pair look that uncomfortable around the other. Yes, they had been through a lot, but this wound was deep for Marshall and it was scarring Mary.

"Marshall, what do you want to start with, the accident or your personal issues?"

"I'm assuming you want to talk about the Christmas escapade and what's happened since then personally, in order to determine if we should start the evaluation to determine if I can go back out in the field," Marshall replied.

"Both incidents will decide on if you're actually fit for field duty."

"So where do you want to start?" Marshall asked.

"Let's start with what happened with your family." Shelley said.

Marshall and Shelley discussed the events that led up to his breakdown over Christmas, the progress he had been making with his father and touched on the accident before time ran out.

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Stan was working on paperwork when his phone rang.

"McQueen."

"Hi Stan, this is Shelley."

"How much do I have to worry about?"

"Depends on what you're looking for. Marshall and I still need to talk about the accident. He seems to be getting his confidence back. He and Mary have issues that will take awhile to work through, but they still care for one another. There is hope for them; if Mary can come to terms with her issues, then I think they can work things out. It won't happen overnight. And I'm not sure how long it will take. There's a lot that had built up over the years."

"Thank you, Shelley."

"Don't thank me yet. A lot of this depends on how willing Mary is to do something she's neither comfortable nor capable of dealing with. But she wants Marshall back and it's the only way to get there," Shelley warned.

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Mary walked into her house to find both Jinx and Brandi sitting in her living room. She knew she should've asked for the keys back. It had already been a long day and this was going to make it longer.

"Is there a reason that you two are sitting in my house instead of one of yours?"

"We were just going over some of the wedding magazines for Peter and Brandi's nuptials," Jinx said in delight.

"What are you doing home?" Brandi asked curiously.

"I'm off for the rest of the week," Mary replied, not wanting to discuss her job with them.

"You actually took vacation time again?" Jinx said, surprised.

"Is your FBI boyfriend coming over?" Brandi asked with a wink.

"No, he wasn't a boyfriend. That man is never setting foot in my life again. He shouldn't have been in the first place," Mary replied heatedly.

"Honey, I'm sure if you had a fight that you can work it out. If not, why don't you ask Marshall to put in a good word for you. Brandi and I could talk to Marshall if you don't want to ask him. I'm sure we can hint at it subtly," Jinx said.

Mary felt fear fill her body at those words. If Jinx and Brandi brought it up, Marshall would get the wrong idea once again.

"It wasn't a fight. He was nothing more then an easy lay. You do not under any circumstances bring his name up to Marshall. As a matter of fact, you leave Marshall alone. Don't talk to him, don't ask for help or drop by to visit."

"Why? I thought Marshall liked us," Brandi asked, hurt.

"Brandi, right now Marshall doesn't like me, his family or himself all that much. I don't want anyone going near him while he's trying to put his life together. He doesn't need more trouble and that is what we bring when we interfere. Do you both understand me? Marshall is off limits."

Jinx was about to go drama queen and Brandi could tell that Mary was upset. Things had to be bad if Marshall didn't like Mary.

"Mom, why don't you run out for those two other magazines, and then meet me at my house?"

Jinx left without a fight. Brandi knew it was because she was thrilled for her and Peter. Once Jinx had left, Brandi decided it was time to focus on the problem at hand or at least try.

"Mary, why does Marshall not like you? The two of you are best friends."

Mary rolled her eyes when she realized Brandi wasn't going to just leave.

"No he was my best friend and I walked all over him. I finally managed to help break him. Please, just don't go near Marshall. He needs time to work through his own issues right now."

"How bad is this?" Brandi asked, figuring it was just a fight that got out of hand and would blow over shortly.

"I'm getting a new partner. Hopefully it will only be temporary, but I can't be sure. Right now Marshall doesn't think too much of me and he has every right to feel that way. I screwed up royally and it's not going to just go away without a lot of work. I don't want any more outside intrusions on the problem. Marshall doesn't need to think that I put any of you up to something. Even if I had, I doubt he would help us right now."

"Mary, that doesn't sound like Marshall. Are you sure that you're not overreacting to something?"

"He's barely spoken to me since Christmas. No, I don't think I'm over exaggerating anything."

"What did you do to him? Or is this the same problem from before? I thought things were getting better. Did you hurt him on purpose? Did he figure it out?" Brandi asked.

"Let it go, Squish. Go meet Mom," Mary replied, heading towards her room.

Brandi watched her sister walk down the hall and realized it's the first time that she'd ever seen Mary look defeated. She wanted to help her sister and once she could formulate a plan she'd do it.

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Marshall had just finished up his paperwork and was getting ready to leave when Stan came out of his office.

"Inspector, a word please."

Marshall nodded and followed Stan into his office.

"I got off the phone with Shelley and she mentioned your next appointment was Friday. If you pass the evaluation, I'll have you working with Charlie on Monday. I want you to take him out to witness checks so he can see how they're done. We can come up with a training schedule Friday, once you're cleared."

"Sounds like a plan."

"One more thing, Marshall. Since you have seniority here, do you want to move your desk or should Mary move hers?"

Marshall stared blankly at Stan at first. It hadn't even dawned on him that they would need to move desks to keep the new partners closer to them.

"I've kind of gotten used to my desk. If it's not a big deal, I'd like to stay there."

"Alright, I'll let Mary know she needs to move her things on Monday."

Stan watched as Marshall left the office. He noticed him looking at Mary's desk for a few seconds and was glad that the thought of her moving bothered him some. There was hope yet for his favorite team.

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Brandi had called her Mom to reschedule getting together. She wanted to talk to Marshall. She just needed to remember where he lived. She had been there only once when Mary needed to drop something off. Now all she needed to do was recall where.

After driving up and down the blocks, she finally spotted the familiar house. Marshall's truck was in the driveway. Parking the car on the street, she walked up to the house and rang the doorbell, waiting a few minutes before Marshall opened the door.

"Hi Marshall, can I talk to you for a few minutes, please?" Brandi asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

Marshall wanted to say no and shut the door to finish his pizza and movie, but he wasn't mad at Brandi so he let her in.

"What do you need, Brandi?"

"I was hoping that you could tell me what's going on with you and Mary?"

"Then I strongly suggest you get Mary to tell you."

"She won't talk about it. You know how she is. Why aren't you talking to her anymore?"

"If you don't know what's going on then how do you know that I'm not talking to her?"

"She mentioned that you two haven't talked since Christmas time."

"Brandi, what's going on between Mary and I is between the two of us. I appreciate your gesture of trying to help, but it's not going to happen. Mary won't change anything about herself including the things she needs to. I'm done being on a one way street with her. You can tell her to enjoy her new partner and hopefully she knows to treat them better. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to finish my supper while it's still warm," Marshall said, trying to make sure he didn't snap at Brandi. It wasn't her fault Mary sent her here.

"I'm sorry I interrupted. Don't give up on her Marshall. You're the only one who hasn't."

"It's too late. I already have," Marshall replied, after he closed the door behind Brandi.

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Mary was eating her supper when her cell phone went off. Her heart raced when she saw that it was Marshall.

"Shannon."

"If you have something to say to me then I would appreciate it if you did it in person and not through a messenger," Marshall said skipping any pleasantries.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mary snapped. She didn't need any more puzzles to figure out.

"The little visitor I just had that left. Why did you send your sister over here?"

"Brandi was there?" Mary asked, angrily.

Marshall could tell by the tone of her voice that she didn't know that Brandi was coming over.

"You didn't send her."

"Of course not. I told her and Jinx to stay the hell away from you. The last thing either of us needs is those two sticking their noses into our lives. I'll talk to her again and make sure she understands to leave you alone. She shouldn't have bothered you."

"I'd appreciate that."

"It won't happen again," Mary replied, trying to figure out how to keep him talking to her.

"Thank you. See you around," Marshall said, hanging up.

Mary couldn't believe how desperately she wanted to say something, anything, just to be able to have a conversation with him. It hurt to know that she caused this. It brought her thoughts to what Shelley said. If she was going to work things out with Marshall, then it was time to deal with her past.

Mary walked down the hall and into her bedroom closet. Reaching for the top shelf, she grabbed the box of letters down before sitting on the bed. Tonight, she'd reread them and tomorrow they would come with her to her appointment with Shelley. She couldn't keep clinging to the past or she would lose what mattered most to her now.

She knew there was one thing she had to do before reading the letters. Grabbing her cell phone she hit speed dial four. The minute she heard the greeting she started.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking? I told you to stay away from Marshall. That doesn't mean driving to his house and running the risk of ruining any chance that I may have at fixing the two of us," Mary yelled into the phone.

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Shelley had been waiting patiently for Mary to come in today. She had hoped that she had gotten through to the inspector. There was a possibility to fix what had been damaged with the two partners, but it had to start with Mary. Marshall had no confidence in her willing to change. The world accepted her for who she was or should just get out of her way. It amazed Shelley it had taken Marshall this long to break. Most would have been done in years ago. Her thoughts were interrupted by her receptionist opening the door for Mary.

Shelley observed the way Mary shielded the box she had with her. It meant a lot to her and yet, hopefully, was ready to share it with Shelley. This was the first step that was so desperately needed for a woman that had to learn how to lower her defenses to those who cared about her.

"Hi Mary, are you ready to talk about what I said yesterday?"

Mary bit her lower lips in anxiety before thinking of Marshall being drunk and alone on Christmas and sinking lower when he heard Faber's voice. She hated that she hurt him the way her father had hurt her.

"Yes, but I don't know how much I can do at once," Mary replied honestly.

"What's in the box?" Shelley asked curiously.

"When I was little my Dad left us two days before my birthday. There was no explanation or anything. Over the years, he had sent letters to me with no postmark or anything that would tell where he was. Just the letters that I've clung to in hopes that he'd come home. You wanted to know where my abandonment issues came from. Well, it came from that moment and these."

Shelley listened as Mary began to tell her bits and pieces of her childhood. She had a feeling the worse moments weren't going to be shared, but some of that was. The only way to get her to talk about the hardest parts would be to her to confide in someone she trusted implicitly and the only person that came to mind was Marshall.

"Emotionally, how did you handle it when your father left?" Shelley asked.

"I became strong so I could protect Brandi and Jinx. Someone had to be able to keep things running."

"Did you cry?"

"I didn't have time to," Mary shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

"Why do you think you have such a hard time opening up to most people?"

Mary stopped and realized what Shelley was getting at.

"You think because I didn't cry that I bottled everything up and used it as a shield to protect myself."

"That's an interesting choice of words. Where did you get them from?"

Mary hated Shelley at the moment. The woman knew full well who spouted that out. Mary had a feeling she was trying to make a connection. Mary already knew what it was.

"If you're trying to get me to admit that the reason I hurt Marshall was to protect myself. I already figured that one out. The problem is that I don't know how to fix the damage that I've done."

"What would you say to your father if you saw him now and what would you have said if he came back for you when you were little? Think about that and tell me tomorrow. I do have another question for you. Marshall and you are going to need to talk about the way you both handle your emotions. I think he can help the process and if he's willing to, will you allow him to be in here? I won't force either of you, but you have always been more comfortable opening up to him. We're making progress, but I think you need someone you trust to take the greater leaps of faith.

I don't need an answer yet. We have plenty left to discuss, but at some time the two of you are going to need to talk about what happened. I can schedule a back to back session where you both can sit in on the others ending minutes and beginning parts to try and talk through your differences. I had a cancellation tomorrow so we could extend your session if you'd like."

Mary didn't want to, but she kept thinking about her end goal. If this was how she had to do it then she'd suck it up.


	11. Chapter 11

Marshall had an early appointment with Shelley today. He actually felt better about himself, as had been talking to his parents and brothers a little more openly then before his parents came to visit. The biggest challenges he faced were trying not to bottle everything up inside and deciding what to do about his relationship with Mary. The latter he knew would take longer to deal with.

In all honesty, he missed his best friend and wasn't sure what that made him. The thought of missing the person who hurt you the most seemed rather masochistic. He was torn about working things out with her. How long before the old patterns started to emerge and how much more could his heart take if she continued breaking it.

Working with Charlie was the break he needed, which would allow him to see if the grass was greener on the other side or only appeared that way.

"Inspector Mann, Dr, Finkle is ready to see you."

"Thank you," Marshall replied, before entering the office.

Shelley watched Marshall, as he entered into the room. His stride was more confident then she'd seen in the last two weeks and his smile seemed genuine when he greeted her.

"Let's start with the accident," Shelley suggested, while Marshall stood in front of the couch before he began pacing as he told her what he could remember of the accident.

"The next few questions are going to be a little more personal. If you were in the field, when Mary and her new partner arrived on the scene, do you think you'd be able to do your job fairly? Or would Mary's presence there cause you undue stress?"

"Mary has never affected my job performance. The safety of the witness comes first. Always has. Whether Mary arrives on the scene or not, it's business as usual. I don't have to like everyone we work with, to maintain my work ethic."

"Do you feel the two of you can be civil to each other in and outside the work environment?"

"I'm not the one with issues of being civil to people. Your biggest concern should be whether Mary can be civil. You're digging to figure out how the two of us would interact or if I'd protect Mary when the situation came up. The answer is that while we may not be friends any longer I would protect her, her partner, the witness or anyone as the regs mandate. Not only is this my job, but I enjoy protecting people. It's what I do best and a big part of who I am. I enjoy my job."

"All right, you said you enjoy helping protect others. In that statement you've included your former partner. Would you be willing to help Mary when we get to that point in her sessions?"

"What kind of help?" Marshall asked, uneasy about this request.

"Once Mary gets to a point in her sessions, she's going to have to deal with what she's done to you and why. In order to do that she'll need to have a conversation with you. Obviously, I can't force you to talk to her, but since the two of you have been friends for a long time, hearing about how everything has affected you will be good for her. Whatever happens, the two of you need to face the issues in order to find the peace you're looking for. You can't keep things bottled up inside or they'll keep eating you up. Eventually, it'll come back to haunt you and you will end up in the same place that you were at Christmas."

"I'll need to think about it. Maybe later it would be easier, but right now I'm not sure how I feel about this," Marshall replied reluctantly.

"Is there anything else that you would like to discuss?"

"Are you going to recommend that I return to field duty?"

"Yes, I will be telling Stan that you're ready. Call me if you feel troubled or need to talk. We can set up an appointment anytime."

"I'll keep that in mind," Marshall replied, heading out the door.

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Stan walked into his office early on Monday, expecting Mary's new partner Hudson Emmett Reed to arrive before her and hoping that their meeting would go smoothly. The last thing he needed was more problems in the office.

Marshall and Charlie would be in before Hudson and Mary arrived. They would spend the better part of the day out with the witnesses, which would allow Mary and Hudson to get acquainted. He really hoped this went well. He needed to bide time for Mary and Marshall to work things out. Shelley was under the impression they both wanted the friendship, but Mary had to make it a two way street or nothing would change, making Marshall leave.

Stan's thoughts were interrupted as Mary came through the door unexpectedly.

"What are you doing here so early?"

"You kept me away for four days of touchy feely crap with Shelley. I wanted to get back to work," Mary said, walking towards her desk, only to notice her things weren't on it. "Where the hell is all my stuff?"

"On your desk," Stan replied, pointing to the new location. "Charlie will be sitting next to Marshall now. You and your partner will be sitting over there. Change the desks anyway you like except moving yours to its old location."

"I happened to like my old seat. Why did you move it?" Mary asked irritated.

"Marshall has seniority, so he was able to choose where he and Charlie sat. In order to work together effectively, partners sit near each other. Since Marshall is no longer your partner so you'll be sitting over there with Hudson," Stan replied, firmly.

"Hudson? When do I get the pleasure?" Mary asked sarcastically.

"You will treat your new partner with respect unless he does something legitimately wrong. He's been in WITSEC for five years and has an impressive record. No more passing paperwork off unless it's okay with him. You need to make this an equal partnership. Get him comfortable with the area and the way you work."

Mary glared at Stan, refusing to answer before moving over to her new desk. She felt like she was stuck in the middle of nowhere with this arrangement. Complaining wouldn't help and if she wanted to get Marshall back as a partner, she'd have to learn to play by the rules.

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Marshall entered the building with trepidation, knowing that Mary's new partner was starting today. He saw her car and hoped things could just go smoothly. Charlie and he had a lot of work to do and wouldn't be at the office for very long.

Curiosity had him asking Stan if the new guy was a rookie or a veteran, relieved to hear that he had been with WITSEC for five years. It would help him in working with Mary. Once they got used to each other everything would be fine. His train of thought was interrupted by Stan walking out of his office, carrying his coffee mug.

"Morning, Stan."

"Marshall, are you ready for your first day of training Charlie?" Stan asked.

"Yes. Once he gets in, I'll take him to see several families. I figured I'd mix the stops to some of the well adjusted witnesses along with a few of the troubled ones. It should give him a good feel for signs to watch and realize that some are easier to deal with then others.

"Sounds good," Stan replied, looking nervously to see where Mary was.

"Not happy about the desk change."

Stan noticed that it was a statement and not a question. The other thing he realized after they moved Mary's desk is that neither would have a clear view of the other. Charlie would be able to see Mary, but Marshall wouldn't. He didn't know if it was on purpose or not. Mary would've made sure she could see Marshall.

"She'll adjust. Just a little bit of a shock. Your protégé had arrived," Stan inclined his head to where Charlie was coming in with Hudson.

"That the new guy?" Marshall asked.

"That is Inspector Reed."

Marshall nodded as the two walked over towards him and Stan.

"Sir," Hudson greeted Stan.

"Please just call me Stan. Everyone else does. Inspector Hudson Reed this is Inspector Marshall Mann."

"A pleasure to meet you," Hudson said, reaching out to shake Marshall's hand.

"Likewise," Marshall said, returning the handshake.

"Alright, let me introduce you to your partner," Stan said, starting to turn.

"Charlie and I are heading out to do witness checks. We'll be gone the rest of the day. Call me if you need us for anything, Stan."

Stan watched them leave and then indicated with an incline of his head for Hudson to follow him. They stopped in front of Mary's desk.

"Mary, this is your partner Hudson Reed."

Mary looked up and nodded while sizing him up.

"I'll let the two of you get acquainted. Mary, catch him up on your witnesses as he'll be shadowing you for a few days to get used to how you work. Hudson, after that, I'll start giving you some of your own witnesses.

"Thanks again, Stan," Hudson said watching the retreating form of his new boss before turning back towards his partner. "Nice to meet you, Mary."

"Sure, grab your things and let's go," Mary ordered.

"Where are we headed?" Hudson asked.

"Shooting range. If you're going to be my partner then I had better damn well know that I can trust you to shoot a target and not me," Mary replied, grabbing her coat, gun and keys before heading towards the elevator.

"Where are you going?" Stan asked seeing the two headed out. He had anticipated them spending more time here.

"Shooting range," Mary said, stepping into the elevator.

Stan rolled his eyes. He should've known. Mary needed to learn to trust someone other then Marshall with her back. She would have to start from scratch, which meant the shooting range. The most important thing for her was knowing that her partner could hit the targets.

Sending up a quick prayer, Stan wished for things to get back to normal quickly. He wasn't sure the office would survive without Mary and Marshall being partners for a long period of time.

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A week passed. Mary stepped out of her office to see Marshall and Charlie sharing coffee and doughnuts while working on paperwork. It left a pit in her stomach. Marshall used to do that with her when they were working together. Hudson had the techniques, smarts and skills to be a great marshal, but there was something about him that nagged at her.

Mary looked at Marshall as she walked towards her desk. Maybe she was just uneasy because he wasn't _'her'_ Marshall anymore and she kept trying to compare Hudson to him. It was hard to compete when she had already had the perfect partner.

She was still seeing Shelley, forcing herself to talk about her father and the feelings she had after he walked out on her. The sense of loss had always been overwhelming and she had never thought she'd feel that way again. When Marshall asked for another partner that feeling had returned. It was strange he was still here and yet wasn't. Shelley and she hadn't even begun to talk about Marshall. It would take awhile to get through her past.

Trying to ignore the hurt she was feeling Mary sat at her desk and kept glancing up at Marshall and Charlie. Her attention was distracted when Hudson came in and plopped down in his seat.

"So what's on the agenda today?" he asked.

"We're going to do some rounds and then when we're done we come back and fill out our paperwork."

"So what's the story between you and your old partner?"

"None of your business. Get the list of your witnesses that you need to check on and we'll head out."

"You're awfully sensitive about the subject. I have a right to know especially if it can interfere with a situation out in the field."

"You have nothing to worry about," Mary said heatedly.

"Funny thing about that, partner, word around here is that you couldn't keep your personal and professional life separate, and finally pushed away the one person who could deal with you. I've been around the block a few times, been burned by people I trust and don't intimidate easily. You might want to keep that in mind. I'm going to go check on my witnesses. I'll call if I need help," Hudson replied, grabbing his stuff and walking away from Mary.

Mary noticed Stan in his office and decided they needed to have a talk.

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Marshall had been well aware of Mary's glances in his direction. They weren't making any progress really, but he had found himself coming to terms with what people had been telling him for years about putting himself first and not bottling things inside.

He continued going over the files with Charlie when he noticed Mary walking toward Stan's office. He could see the tension in her shoulders and her stride indicated a purpose.

Ignoring what was going on with Mary, he and Charlie worked through their data. They had a witness transfer coming up which would test Charlie's skills as an inspector. Marshall wanted to make sure that they had all the information down and Charlie knew what he was supposed to do. It would be his first real transfer, and the witness was wanted by some gun runners. These men obviously had the ammunition and resources to send a lot of people after them. In case that happened Marshall wanted to be sure that Charlie memorized all areas of coverage and protection.

A part of Marshall missed working with Mary, especially with this transfer coming up. Charlie was a quick learner, but didn't have the advanced skill set. Marshall was still getting used to how Charlie would respond in a situation and they weren't going to have enough time to hone in on that before the transfer in a few days.

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Mary knocked before entering Stan's office. She noticed the surprised look on his face at the knock, but ignored it.

"What exactly do you know about my new partner?" Mary demanded.

Stan looked up and could see something was bothering her. "Why?"

"Something about him is off. He has the skill set, but I can't help getting a hinky feeling about him. I don't mean just because he's not Marshall. I thought that was it at first, but it's been two weeks and I haven't been able to shake it."

"His file was exemplary. I can ask his former boss more questions, but he gave him a high recommendation."

"What about his other partners? Can you see what they have to say?" Mary asked.

"You're that bothered by it?"

Mary just nodded her head in confirmation.

"I'll do some sideline digging. Let me know if you see any signs of something strange," Stan replied.

"Let me know what you find out," Mary said, before heading back towards her desk deciding to do a little of her own investigating.

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Marshall sat in Shelley's office, knowing the elephant in the room was not being discussed. It was the one topic that they hadn't touched on. Shelley had tried, but Marshall had a unique way of turning the question into something else or about someone else. His thoughts about Mary were still a big mess.

"You can't avoid this subject forever Marshall. It may not interfere with you doing your job, but it's interfering with your life. We've discussed your family, parts of your job, but not a word about Mary or Stan. They both figure into the equation of what happened to get you over the tipping point. Stan and Mary figure into the problems you were having with your family."

Marshall stood up and started pacing. He needed to think before speaking. He still wasn't ready to deal with Mary, but even his problem with Stan was related to the comments he made about her.

"Stan has always been my biggest dilemma and source of confusion."

Shelley almost sighed out loud, but knew that he needed to talk about Stan also. She was going to have to be more direct with Marshall if he didn't start opening up about Mary. The fact was that the two were more alike than even they realized. She hadn't been able to get either of them to talk about the other one, but it was what they needed to move forward.

"Why?" Shelley asked, as Marshall stood with his back to her.

"Stan was always interested or at least seemed to be in who I am. In some ways he was more of a father to me than my own. He took me under his wing when I first started and taught me how to excel in this job. He never criticized my style and offered me pointers on how to use it to my advantage."

"You looked up to him," Shelley said, summarizing Marshall's thoughts. "Did that change after Mary arrived?"

"Stan thought I was nuts to tell him to snap her up. Hell, maybe I was. I don't really know anymore. She was typical Mary, but underneath the brassy, sarcastic and with her against the world attitude was the one who had the compassion to help someone in a difficult situation. I was shocked to hear that she helped my witness make his decision."

Shelley listened to the nostalgia in Marshall's voice. The good news was that he was talking about Mary. She was hoping this would keep him on that path. It's the biggest part that Marshall needed to work out.

Marshall realized that he wandered down the Mary path, but in some ways he knew he would have to. They were linked in some aspects. Taking a breath, he tried to refocus.

"Stan watched the partnership grow and develop. He started ignoring Mary's disregard for rules and covering for her. As the years continued on his covering up for her and comments started to make me wonder if everything he taught me was changing to Mary's ways. He wasn't completely to blame in that. I had a part in it too. We were both trying to be someone that Mary could learn to trust and help with an obvious rough life."

"Did you talk to Stan about it?"

"No, things were still pretty good at that point. Mary and I worked well together. She accepted me for who I was. Teased me some, but I know it was just her way."

"When and why did it get to you?" Shelly asked trying to get to the crust of the problem. She had a feeling the problems were about to combine.

"It really wasn't Stan's fault. It was my own. I never told him about a lot of the things I covered up for Mary. She was careless with things she did while out of town. It never happened on the job as she wouldn't risk our witnesses, at least not at that time. They were always things that occurred off the clock, but could have cost her what she valued the most… her job."

"What changed?" Shelley pushed a little. Marshall needed to get it out in the open.

"The rest of us followed the rules as was expected while Mary got away with doing whatever she wanted. Stan started calling her his best inspector and the resentment started to build. It was like my family all over again. I play by the rules and do my job to the best of my ability and Stan continues to boost Mary's ego, knowing she wasn't following the rules. He didn't know everything of course, but he knew enough. When someone else broke a rule then they'd get dressed down by him. I wasn't the only one who didn't care for it. Stan's a good boss to work for, but he turned a blind eye to Mary's antics. I think he was trying to be the father Mary never had."

"Was he replacing you with her?"

"What?" Marshall asked, caught of guard.

"Marshall, Stan by your words was more of a father to you then your own. Mary comes along and he becomes a father figure to her. How did that make you feel?"

Marshall stared at her in shock.

"I didn't feel anything about that. I never even gave it a thought. Mary needs people in her life that she can trust or respect. She never had a lot of that."

"So you weren't threatened by their relationship?"

"Why would I feel threatened by it?"

"I don't know. Why would you?" Shelley asked, wanting Marshall to answer the question himself.

Marshall stopped pacing and sat down on the couch thinking about the question. Was it his Dad all over? Was that what bothered him? Was he pushed aside for someone who met the ideal fit of what a Marshal stood for? The person who enjoyed the sound of cuffs being slapped on a prisoner as much as his father had. Was he second best again?

"Marshall?" Shelley asked concerned. "Marshall!"

Shelley's sharper tone caused Marshall to look up.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Shelley didn't miss the hurt in his voice and was concerned they just took a step backward after her question.

"I was just trying to get your attention. Where did you go?"

Marshall looked at his watch, noticing with relief that their time was up.

"Our times up. I need to get to work," Marshall said, getting up.

"We can take a few more minutes. Marshall, I really think we need to finish this discussion," Shelley replied.

"We can next week. I really have to go," Marshall insisted.

"Can we bring Stan into your session? The two of you need to talk about this."

"I'd like to think about that and get back to you. I know that you have to report this information to Stan. You can tell him what we discussed, but I need to think about what we talked about."

"Think about it and let me know. Marshall, just remember it's a question about what your subconscious might have been thinking. Don't let it interfere with the progress you've made."

Marshall nodded in acknowledgment.

Shelley sat back at her desk and grabbed her phone, knowing she needed to contact Stan about what happened. Marshall at least gave her permission to do so.

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Stan was at his desk when his phone rang. "McQueen."

"Stan, this is Shelley Finkle."

"What's wrong?" Stan asked, picking up on the worry in her voice.

"We may have a problem with Marshall."

Stan sat up straight. "What kind of a problem? Is he fit for duty?"

"Yes, he can still do his job. But there might be an issue with the two of you," Shelley replied, explaining what happened.

"I'm going to need to talk to him," Stan said.

"Let him come to you or ask if he wants to discuss it. Don't push him, Stan. I'm worried how he's going to process this."

Stan rubbed his hand over his head. "So sit back and let him come to me or talk to him in private and hope this doesn't blow up in my face."

"Stan he needs to work everything out. I'm worried I took him back a few steps, but in order to fix what sent him running from everyone, you're going to have to deal with all the issues that have built up over the years."

"I understand, but I don't have to like it."

"No, but you're also going to have to deal with the reality of it. Is it Marshall's imagination or did you push him to the side when Mary came along? Were you busy trying to fix her that you ignored him and put her first? Stan, all of you played a part in this and some of it may require the rest of you taking a long hard look at your actions and how they got all of you to this point."

"Thanks, Shelley." Stan said, hanging up and putting his head in his hands.

Stan had to think about what Shelley said. The way she had stated what happened and the conversation reminded Stan of what had happened between Marshall and Seth. Did he do the same thing to him? Marshall wasn't the only one who had to think about what had transpired over the years.

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"Hey Stan, the D.O.J wants us to…" Mary stopped when she saw the look on Stan's face.

"What's wrong?"

"Huh?" Stan asked looking up confused.

"What's going on with you?"

"Just something I need to think about. What were you saying?"

"The D.O.J. wants extra protection on our witness exchange."

"Take Marshall and Charlie with you," Stan replied.

Mary froze at that order. "Are we sure that this is a good idea?"

"They are the only two available and you're going to have to work together at some time. I need to know that the two of you can function with your new partners. Get ready to go. I'll let Marshall and Charlie know as soon as Marshall arrives."

"Did something happen to Marshall is that why you're acting strange?" Mary asked curiously.

"Marshall is fine. Get the information ready so Marshall and Charlie can be prepared for the transfer."

"I will. What is going on with you?" Mary asked

"Nothing that concerns you. Back to work, inspector."

"Stan with everything that is going on, don't lie to me. I know full well that you're worried about something and more than likely that something is my former partner."

"Then it would be between your former partner and me. Back to work, Mary."

Mary knew it was more than nothing, but Stan wasn't telling her what was wrong. She couldn't even ask Marshall. This whole situation irritated her. The only two people that she trusted to talk to about this were the ones she couldn't. Mary rolled her eyes knowing that it meant another conversation with Shelley.

Just then Marshall walked in and sat down at his desk. Mary noticed the way he would periodically look at Stan's office. He was confused and she could tell it from the look on his face. She was going to have to talk to Marshall about the case. Grabbing the file on her desk, she walked over to Marshall's desk.

"Marshall, we need you and Charlie to help with the witness transfer. The D.O.J. wants to have extra protection since they've has some concerns about possible threats coming after them."

"I take it we are your backup. Is the threat assessment done?"

Mary handed him the file she had.

"All the information that we have, including the threat assessment is in the folder. I'll let you and Charlie go over everything and then the four of us can meet up in the conference room to finalize plans."

"Charlie should be here in a few minutes. I'll go over it with him. We'll meet in two hours in the conference room."

"Okay, that will give Hudson time to finish his witness visit and come in."

"Sounds good," Marshall replied, trying to ignore the awkwardness between them.

"I know we're not on speaking terms per say, but are you okay? You seem a little distracted," Mary said, hoping to break the ice.

"I can do the job," Marshall replied, defensively.

"That is something I already know. I was just trying to say you look upset with something."

Marshall studied her face and could tell she was actually concerned.

"Just something that I need to work out on my own. Thanks for asking."

"You know, I realize that we have troubles and that I haven't been the greatest friend, listener or supporter, but if you would like to talk I'm still here," Mary said shrugging. "Never mind that was probably not the best idea I've ever had. I'll see you in the conference room."

Marshall watched as Mary walked back to her desk. It was probably the first time he recalled that she'd offer to listen to him. He wasn't ready for sharing his feelings with her yet, but hoped that maybe her offer was a step in the right direction. His missed having a friend, but he needed one that put his needs first every once in a while.

Mary took a quick look at Marshall before finishing her path to her desk. He was lost in thought and Mary just hoped those thoughts were good ones that would not send them backwards. He seemed to be more like himself albeit without their relationship, but she was glad he wasn't the person who came back from Las Vegas. Seeing him hurting and thinking so little of himself scared the hell out of her. Knowing she was part of what brought him to that point was the only reason why she was still seeing Shelley. Whatever it took at this point to make sure Marshall was okay was her priority, even if it made her work on her problems along the way.


	12. Chapter 12

Stan let Mary and Marshall have their conversation. Waiting for a few minutes, he called Marshall into the office, needing to find out what kind of damage had been done after the session with Shelley.

"Marshall, do you have a moment?"

Marshall knew this was coming since he left Shelley's office. Getting up, he walked into Stan's office.

"Please shut the door and then take a seat."

Nodding, Marshall closed the door, before sitting.

"Are you alright?" Stan asked, once Marshall sat down.

"Shelley called?"

"Yes, she was concerned that you and I were going to have some issues. I don't want us moving backward and I'm concerned that might happen."

"Stan, right now I don't know what to think and need time to process everything. I' not saying that I blame you or anyone else for all that matters. Not sure if this is all me or what. And right now I need to get prepped for helping to back up Mary and Hudson."

"I'm not going to push, but I do want you to talk to me if there is anything you have questions about. I'd like to be able for us to keep talking so we don't have things fester up inside for you. I'm not trying to be critical Marshall; I'm just worried about that happening again. I would like to think we can work through any problems that may come up."

"I know that we need to talk about this and I promise we will."

"All right, be careful."

"We will be," Marshall replied, getting up and heading back to his desk.

Stan was relieved that Marshall was willing to talk to him about his discussion with Shelley. It was a step in the right direction. Now he needed to figure out his part in this process.

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Marshall and Charlie were in the second SUV following Mary and Hudson's SUV on the way to the airport. Charlie was a little tense and to Marshall that was a good thing. Everyone was a little tense before a transfer and especially his first one. In some ways he was glad for this because it gave Charlie a little more experience before they had their transfer.

Marshall was starting to get an uneasy feeling that something wasn't right as they approached the airport.

"Keep your eyes open Charlie."

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked, noticing Marshall's jaw was tense.

"Just a feeling. Keep searching for anything suspicious," Marshall replied, before Marshall radioed Mary's car. "Anything on the radar?"

"Not that we're seeing. Gut?" Mary asked knowingly.

"Yeah, proceed with caution."

"Will do," Mary replied.

"Gut?" Charlie asked.

"Instinct. When you feel that there is something wrong, trust your instinct and keep looking for something wrong. Your gut is something you trust. It may not always be right, but more times than not it is."

Charlie nodded in understanding and kept his eyes searching as they entered the airport.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/

"Gut?" Hudson asked.

"Marshall has a feeling that something is off and he's are usually right on the money. Stay alert, we might be getting company."

"Seriously? You're going with his instincts? There's no sign of trouble, yet Marshall calls and you listen to him?" Hudson asked in disbelief.

"You don't know him like I do. Don't underestimate his instincts. If he thinks we might be getting company then we stay alert."

"I know what I'm doing. This isn't exactly my first time."

"Can the attitude, jackass. I'm telling you to focus.," Mary spat.

Mary was not happy with Hudson and was hoping Stan's information came in earlier rather than later. She hadn't been able to shake the feeling that something was wrong with her new partner. He spent a lot of time taking care of his witnesses alone and out of the office. The only time they've spent together was on two transfers. This was only the third one.

"Grace, get on the floorboards. We're not seeing any trouble, but I'd rather be sure before we get you on the plane," Mary said, as Hudson put the SUV in park.

They stayed in the SUV as Marshall and Charlie got out of theirs and moved to check the plane. She watched as they came out and Marshall signaled that it was clear, heading toward their SUV after Charlie. Mary left the SUV and went to open the back door for Grace when she heard Marshall's loud voice.

"Take cover," Marshall shouted, just as bullets began to spray.

Mary shoved Grace back onto the floorboards and took position behind the opened SUV door as she heard Marshall and Charlie returning gun fire. She looked quickly for her partner and noticed him leaning over the hood of the car. The problem was it looked as if he was aiming towards Marshall and Charlie. It was then Mary saw the movement on the rooftop of the hangar.

"Hudson, hangar top," Mary yelled out.

Marshall saw the movement and took the shot, managing to hit the shooter. Charlie and Mary got the other two assailants.

"Hudson, get Grace on the plane," Mary called out, moving to cover them with Marshall and Charlie.

They managed to get them all on board the plane and take off without further incident. Mary informed Stan what happened and decided that once Grace was done with the trial she'd be relocated again. The bigger problem was how the information was leaked. Mary also wanted time to think about what happened at the airport. She couldn't shake the feeling that Hudson was aiming at either Marshall or Charlie when he was at the truck. Her distrust in her new partner was growing stronger.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary waited until they Hudson and Charlie had left for the night. She was about to pour herself a cup of coffee when she decided to run her theory by Marshall. She trusted his opinion and even if they were arguing she knew that he would tell her what he thought.

"Marshall, can we go out on the deck and talk for a minute? I need your opinion on something."

"Sure," Marshall replied, knowing full well that something had been bothering her since the shootout at the airport two days ago.

The two went outside and walked over to look at the city skyline.

"What's the question?" Marshall asked.

"Did you think Hudson's behavior was odd during the shootout? Did you feel as if someone was targeting you or Charlie from behind?"

Marshall's eyebrow rose at the question. "You think Hudson is dirty?"

"Something is off with him. Stan's checking into it."

"Why are you asking about the airport?" Marshall knew there was more to the question.

"Because I felt like he was aiming at you or Charlie, until I pointed out the hangar rooftop. I'm not sure if he was positioning himself and looking for the shooter or if he was aiming at one of you."

"Any other odd behavior?"

"Since the first few days, he's been secretive, not taking me along with him anywhere, coming in at odd hours and isolating himself. I know that I'm a pain to deal with, but he's made no effort at being partners and if I ask him about how things are going he just says that everything is under control. Even at my worst with you, I didn't shut you out completely. This is like he's hiding something. I can't put my finger on what though."

Marshall thought about what Mary said. He knew she had a concern or she wouldn't have asked to talk to him about it. They were still struggling with their issues, but he also didn't know enough about Hudson to make an opinion. He had noticed the man wasn't at the office much when the rest of them were. Hudson was usually out in the field.

"Do you know anything about his previous jobs? Maybe he had trouble with a partner or someone trying to mess with his career? I'm not saying that you shouldn't be cautious; because I do find it odd that he doesn't want to work with you, but that being said without having anything to go on we'd be jumping to conclusions without proof. Watch your back and try to get more information on him."

Mary let Marshall's words sink in. She had watched his face when he mentioned problems with a partner, but there was nothing suggesting he was hinting at what transpired between them. Now she looked at him while he stared at the mountains in the distance and wondered what he was thinking.

"Are you okay? I know something happened before we left with Grace."

"Mary, I appreciate the fact that you're trying here, but I'm not ready to trust you with my personal life yet. We've still got a long way to go; if we can even get there."

"You used to call me Mare. I miss you, Marshall. I know that I'm working with Shelley on my issues and that you're working on yours. At some point we're going to have to talk about all of this. I know Shelley mentioned it to you too. What I don't know is if you're going to consider giving me a chance to prove that I can be a better person and friend to you."

"Mare is a nickname for a friend. We're not friends right now and a part of me isn't sure we ever were. The only thing I'm sure of is that I need to know that this isn't a temporary change with you. I won't go back to the same routine that we were doing before this."

"You think less of me," Mary said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I do. Not sure when or if that will change. I can't predict the future any more than you can. I just know that I have to work things out about my feelings towards you and what I want if anything from you anymore."

"I understand," Mary said, before Marshall turned and headed inside.

She stayed on the balcony and tried to fight the pain those words held. It wasn't that she didn't deserve them. She knew she did, but that didn't mean they hurt any less. Marshall wasn't sure about them, but the one thing she knew is that he would always be her best friend. There was no one that was capable of replacing that spot in her life.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan had watched his two best inspectors as they stood outside. While they looked comfortable enough around the other; it was obvious things were still awkward. Well, obvious to him. He missed their antics. He missed the smile that used to appear more frequently on Marshall's face. The laughter he had taken for granted now seemed to be a distant memory.

They were talking, but he had a feeling it didn't get personal until the end. They weren't shouting, but the fact that Marshall left Mary alone and the way she stared off into the distance told him they weren't okay. Marshall more than likely answered something Mary asked and it wasn't what she hoped to hear.

Stan watched Marshall pack his gear up and head toward the elevator. He thought back to the words Shelley had said. Did he really put Mary ahead of Marshall? In his gut, he knew that he did and his heart ached for Marshall. They were family and Stan had done the same thing to Marshall that his own father had done. What the hell kind of person did that make him?

Stan hadn't told either of them, but he scheduled his own appointment with Shelley while they were gone. He needed to talk to her about Mary and Marshall. The appointment was also longer than needed to discuss his relationship with Marshall and how to balance his time between the two better. He shouldn't have taken for granted that Marshall would've realized the way Stan saw things. He hadn't meant to lean so far in one direction that he lost sight of the middle path to walk between the two. They both had family issues and while Mary's were probably harder in one way it didn't mean Marshall had it easy. The thought made him wish even more that he paid closer attention to Marshall. He abandoned him in some ways like Mary's father abandoned her. The question that plagued him the most was just how much that mistake would cost them all.

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Marshall sat in his dark living room thinking over his conversation with Shelley. Had he been jealous of the fact that Stan paid more attention to Mary then him? Did he get left behind once again because he wasn't tough enough in Stan's eyes? Was it his sole purpose in life to be pushed to the side so others could grow into what everyone called their ideal image? Was he always going to finish last? Maybe he was the one who needed to change.

Shelley had really thrown him for a loop with that comment. He had never compared Stan to his father. In some ways they were total opposites, but maybe they weren't as different as he had thought. His musings were interrupted by the sound of his doorbell.

Opening his front door, he was surprised to see his boss.

"Stan?"

"May I come in?" Stan asked. He couldn't let this fester or he feared it would take Marshall away from them.

"Sure," Marshall replied, seeing the determined look on Stan's face.

"We really need to talk about what was said in Shelley's office the other day."

"Is it true? Did you cast me to the side for Mary? Was it really what you had told me earlier about the different ways that you see our futures or were you just trying to placate me?"

"If I pushed you to the side it wasn't on purpose and it wasn't because I think less of you. What I was trying to do was give Mary a sense of belonging. I wanted her to feel like a family wasn't always a ticking bomb waiting to go off."

"Why didn't you divide your time between the two of us? Why did you isolate me and make it seem like Mary was everything you needed in an inspector and person?"

"It was never my intention to isolate you or make you think that you weren't wanted. You've always been the one more at ease and with a deeper sense of family then Mary had ever known. I took for granted that you would realize that I was trying to be something for Mary that she never had, but by doing that I took away from you something that you never had."

Marshall watched Stan as he tried to explain all of this to him. In one sense he understood, but in another he felt cheated.

"Then why do I feel like I'll always finish last? It doesn't matter if it's you, Mary or my own family. Maybe I'm the one that's wrong; the one that needs to change. Is that what it is Stan?"

"Marshall, the one thing in the world I don't want you to do is change the person that you are. If I had to point out one thing to change about you it would be to put your needs before everyone else instead of letting the hurt build up inside of you. I know your Dad told you he was worried that you weren't tough enough for this job, but you are. The fact that you don't use that side of you unless it's necessary speaks volumes about the man that you are. I'm very proud of all that you've accomplished."

"Then why don't you ever say anything?"

"I thought you knew. You were always so comfortable with who you were on the outside that I never questioned what was going on inside. I was wrong, and I hope I never do it again. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I never meant to hurt you. I needed you to know that and also I'm very proud of who you are. Don't change because you think it's what we want. It's not. I'd hate to see you change to try and be someone that isn't you. You have a talent and a desire to help others. You want to try and improve their lives and see them succeed. It's a unique gift that you have. Don't throw that away because of a misunderstanding on my part."

"I don't hate you if that's what you're thinking. I just not really sure where I fit in anymore," Marshall admitted.

"You and Mary are equals. Your skills play well off of each other. If you can't do that anymore then I'd have you and Charlie stay partners. You belong in this office and your place is where it has always been, here. I will do my best to make sure that I don't forget to tell you that. If you leave, our little family would be missing a significant piece. We work well together becomes of the bonds we have formed. It maybe a weird makeshift family, but it is who we are and you're a significant part of that. Don't ever doubt that you belong with us or that we care. While not necessarily being the greatest at showing it; we do care about you a lot."

Marshall rubbed his hand across his neck at the tension that had formed there.

"What else is bothering you, Marshall? I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," Stan said softly.

"I told Mary the truth and I know it hurt her. I may not be friends with her, but I never did like hurting people Stan."

"Sometimes we need to hear the truth in order to fix what it broken."

"What if the thing that is broken can't be fixed? I just don't know if I can think of Mary the way I used to. She pointed out the fact I don't call her Mare anymore. It's not something I feel she's entitled to. That's a nickname given to a friend. The truth is my opinion of her has dropped significantly. I know that we can work together and we've proven that. I can also talk to her about work, but every attempt she makes at being a friend to me again I block. It's not something that I can trust her with at the moment. For all I know, she'll resort back to her old ways as soon as I get comfortable again. I'm looking for guarantees that don't exist."

"I know that you've taken a lot of chances with Mary over the years and it's backfired. This is the first time I've actually seen her put any effort into making things better. She's insecure and will probably slip up once and awhile. The question is can you accept that or do you even want that anymore? Only you can tell if it's worth taking a chance on her again. If you want my opinion then yes, she's trying to change and not as a temporary solution. She knows that it would make things worse in the long run. You're the only true friend she has and it scares her that she could lose you because of her own actions. From what I understand she's finally stopped beating around the bush and started actually talking to Shelley about her issues."

"So give it time and see what happens."

"It's the only thing you can do. Just don't sacrifice your own happiness along the way. If you can't fix things with Mary, then find something that does make you happy. You deserve that much"

"Thanks, Stan."

"Don't thank me, Marshall. I should have behaved differently along time ago. That was not only unfair to you, but it wasn't fair to anyone else in the office. Just remember that you can come to me and I'll listen. I may not have all the answers, but I'm willing to help. On that note, I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Marshall."

"Good night, Stan." Marshall replied, closing the door after Stan left. Emotionally exhausted, he climbed into his bed and drifted to sleep /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  
>Mary continued to do her own research on Hudson. Marshall had a point that it could be he did have trouble with someone before. It would explain the secrecy. The problem was she was worried about what would happen if it wasn't that. Mary used a few contacts she had and requested information on her new partner.<p>

She had thought about asking Marshall and Charlie for help, but they were transporting a witness to trial and since it was going to be just the two of them, she didn't want to interrupt Marshall training Charlie. Old partner or not, she didn't want anything happening to her best friend.

Marshall's transfer with Charlie had brought back the nightmares from the time Marshall had gotten injured in the desert. It wasn't that she didn't trust Charlie because he'd done a good job when helping relocate Grace. She had always covered Marshall's back and the thought of not being there to do it this time bothered her. She didn't know if it was because of Charlie's inexperience or her need to know all things Marshall. She felt better when he was in her sights and she could guarantee that he was safe when the case was over.

Casting a glimpse at Charlie's desk, Mary noticed Marshall pointing things out. She knew that he would ask Charlie a question, listen to his response and explain what he may have overlooked or given him other things to consider. A part of her couldn't help but think Marshall would have been one hell of an asset at the academy.

Mary looked at the time and realized that lunch was in order. Looking at the two partners she decided to make a gesture of good faith.

"I'm headed out to lunch. Do you two want me to bring you something back?"

Charlie looked hopeful and Mary noticed the way he looked to Marshall for the okay. She knew Charlie was aware something happened to cause her and Marshall to break up their partnership and he was making sure not to step on any toes.

"Where are you going?"

"Lumpy's Burgers."

"Sounds good," Marshall said.

"The usual?" Mary asked Marshall who nodded.

Charlie gave Mary his request while Marshall began to reach for his wallet.

"I got it. I still owe you from last time," Mary said, noting the look on Marshall's face.

How many times had she taken his generosity for granted? This time it was her turn to make a small gesture. She stopped by Stan's office before heading out.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Marshall, Charlie, my office," Stan called out.

The two got up and headed into Stan's office sidestepping Hudson as he came strolling in.

Hudson went to his desk and sat down. Looking around to see where Mary was, he got up as he heard Stan's door close. Moving towards the filing cabinet near Charlie's desk he noticed that Stan's blinds were closed.

Looking around the room to make sure no one was around, he moved to Charlie's desk and began flipping through the paperwork on the witness transfer they were getting ready to do. He scanned the layout, threat assessment and backup plans that were on the desk.

Hearing the sound of moving chairs coming from Stan's office, he went back to his desk and pulled out his cell phone. Sending a quick message he sat down and began filling out his paperwork.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary came back into the office around midnight. She had just finished bailing one of her witnesses out of trouble and needed to fill out the paperwork. At the moment, she was trying to figure out who she was more pissed at; her damn witness for getting in trouble with the local police department or Hudson for not showing up to help diffuse the situation.

Mary had wanted to call Marshall for backup when she couldn't get Hudson on the phone. Knowing that Charlie and Marshall's transfer was taking place sometime in the wee hours of the morning, she had decided against it. Luckily, she managed to get the situation under control and not make any more enemies in the police department.

Reaching for her cell phone she started to scroll through her unheard messages. There was a call from Faber which she deleted without listening to, three calls from Brandi, one call from Jinx and none from Hudson. Hitting speed dial number five she waited to see if her partner bothered to pick up this time.

Anger boiled through her veins as the call went straight into voice mail. She couldn't work with someone who couldn't be bothered to help her out. There was a reason that they're called partners. Mary punched speed dial two and waited.

"McQueen."

"Can you tell me if you sent my so-called partner off somewhere without my knowledge?" Mary asked angrily.

"Do you know what time it is Mary? If he's a sane person he'd be in bed sleeping."

"If he was a sane person he would've picked up his phone when I called him for backup to get Jeremy Wallis out of trouble once again. As a matter of fact, my so-called partner still isn't answering his phone. So I ask again, is he off on assignment or something?"

"Mary, he's not out doing anything I asked him to. You know that I wouldn't send him out without telling you. Is everything under control? Did you call Marshall for backup?"

"Everything is under control and I managed to not irritate the LEO's. I didn't call Marshall because I know they're heading out sometime soon."

"I'm on my way in. I'll make a detour and see if Hudson is home. Since he's not answering his phone, call Marshall and give him a warning that we have a missing inspector. I want him extra alert in case someone has Hudson. Luckily your partner doesn't know anything about the transfer, but I don't like one of our own missing before a major player is moved."

"I'll see if I can find any information on his desk on his possible whereabouts."

"If you need to, call IT and have them get you into his computer system. I'll tell them to give you access. I'll call if I hear anything and I expect the same in return."

Mary hung up and hit speed dial one.

"Mann."

"Marshall, this is Mary. Hudson is missing and we don't know what has happened to him. He hasn't returned my calls and Stan is on his way over to his home. Stan wanted me to give you a heads up that there might be a problem. Do you need me to back the two of you up at the airport?"

"No, I think we're good. We'll keep our eyes open for any signs of trouble. You keep looking for your partner."

"Call me if you need backup," Mary urged. Something in her gut was telling her she didn't want Marshall to leave. "Be careful, Marshall."

"You too. See you when we get back."

Mary hung up, sat at Hudson's desk and booted his computer while trying to open his drawers. Finding them locked she went to retrieve her pick set.


	13. Chapter 13

Marshall hung up and looked at Charlie.

"Hudson's missing. We're going to need to keep our eyes open. We move Pastelli into the plane as fast as we can. I don't want a repeat performance of Grace's extraction."

Charlie nodded as they pulled up to Vince Pastelli's temporary apartment. The witness would be relocated after the trial. There were three choices and the decision would be made once the plane was in the air. The D.O.J. wanted every possible precaution to be taken with their witness.

The only problem with moving someone at night was that it made it more difficult to see the threats. The advantage was that most people were in bed, not paying attention to those moving about at night. They were hoping to arrive in Philadelphia in the wee hours of the morning and head straight to the courthouse. The plan was to get Vince on the stand first thing and then out of there without him needing to testify the next day.

"Are you ready?" Marshall asked Charlie.

'Let's go," Charlie responded before they both left the SUV.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary finally picked the locks on Hudson's desk as she was on the phone with I/T to gain access into his computer. The first two drawers turned up empty and she was about to open the third drawer when she noticed that she got the access.

Mary hung up with I/T and checked his calendar first. She came up with nothing in his email or his schedule for the day. There was also no information of any trouble he might have been having with a witness or anything else of interest.

She then turned her attention back to the last desk drawer. Briefly noting the time, she knew Marshall would be on his way to the airport. Stan had given her the transfer schedule in case they had an emergency. Frustration was beginning to build as she wasn't finding anything and the pit in her stomach was growing bigger by the second.

Mary pulled open the drawer, trying to stay focused on finding her own partner. It was a priority and she had to ignore her worries for now. Reaching into the drawer, she pulled out the three folders he had in there. Opening the first one it was a file on Grace and her activities.

"Son of a bitch," Mary said as she looked at the other two folders. Quickly grabbing her gun, badge and keys she headed to the elevator while putting on her vest and dialing Marshall. Not getting an answer, she called Stan.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan was just finishing his check of Hudson's house when his cell went off.

"McQueen."

"Stan, meet me at the airport. Hudson is our leak. I found copied files of the information Marshall and Charlie have on their case. It includes Marshall's backup plans and threat assessments. They're walking into a trap and I can't get Marshall or Charlie to answer their phones."

"Mary, we don't know that any information was leaked on Pastelli," Stan reminded her on his way to his car.

"Grace's information was sealed locked in with two other cases. I could see him having a copy of my case, since he was supposed to be my back up, but why the other two? Marshall and Charlie were keeping Pastelli's information between them. I didn't even know they were leaving tonight until you told me to call them."

"Where are you?"

"I'm five minutes out."

"I'm about a minute behind you. Proceed with caution, we don't have any proof that Hudson is involved. Don't convict him without knowing for sure. I'll keep trying to get a hold of Marshall."

Mary acknowledged what Stan had said, but pushed harder on the gas pedal. She wasn't about to leave Marshall and Charlie to defend themselves. The plan had been to keep a low profile with no extra backup to draw attention; she had wanted to argue about it though she didn't feel it was her place.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan dialed Marshall's number - not getting a response - he tried Charlie's. With neither of his inspectors answering their phones he floored the gas.

In the back of his mind, his thoughts turned to Hudson. Was he the leak that put Grace in jeopardy? If he had been aiming at Marshall or Charlie then he could easily shoot them in the back if he showed up. Stan's phone beeped letting him know he had a message.

Quickly pulling the message up, he saw a 911 code from Charlie. Marshall would have taken point and had Charlie protecting the witness while he did the best to find a way for them to get out of there.

He was two minutes away from the airport which felt like an eternity at the moment.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall emptied another magazine and loaded his Glock again. He heard his phone ringing and assumed it was Stan or Mary. Throwing the phone at Charlie who had their witness secured behind the SUV; he let Charlie inform Stan of the situation.

Marshall was still trying to plan an escape. All of their current modes of transportation were out. He figured there were at least three shooters that he could identify and that didn't include the two men he'd already taken out. Someone had definitely leaked the information, but Marshall didn't know who. They had kept their plans away from everyone else, but Stan.

The shooters have been waiting for their arrival. The two Marshal had taken out were disguised as the pilot and co-pilot on the plane. The others had shot out the wheels of the plane and the tires on the SUV. So far, the only vehicle that he had seen was a gas truck and there was no way they were getting into that. It was an open invitation to blow them up.

A few minutes later, he heard the sound of sirens approaching. A slight sense of relief flowed through his body that they were now getting backup. A truck pulled up to the left of them and Hudson got out.

"Hudson," Marshall called out.

Hudson looked over at Marshall as another barrage of bullets was aimed at them. Marshall signaled to him that there were three shooters and the location he could best guess they were at.

At the arrival of Hudson, the bullets seemed to intensify. Marshall and Hudson returned fire the best they could. Marshall felt like they'd been at this for hours. It was after the second round of gunfire exchange that Marshall realized he no longer heard gunfire from Hudson's location.

Quickly looking over to where he had last seen Hudson, he couldn't see him anywhere. Before he could think more about it, more bullets pierced the SUV and Marshall had to take cover. Reloading his weapon, he heard the sound of sirens coming and was grateful that more reinforcements were on the way. Getting up, he managed to hit one of the shooters on the hangar.

"Charlie, get ready to move the witness. You're going to get in Hudson's car and drive him out of here, while I cover. You get out of here and don't stop until you get him to the Sunshine building. We need to come up with a new plan. Someone leaked the information," Marshall said, as a quick flash of fear crossed Charlie's face.

"What about you?" Charlie asked.

"The witness comes first, besides, the cavalry is almost here. Are you ready to move?"

"Yes," Charlie said, moving Pastelli into a position where he could shield him.

"When I give the signal you move him with me. Get him on the floorboards and you slide into the car. If the key is not there then I need you to hotwire the vehicle. Do you know how?" Marshall asked.

"Yes, I do."

"Good, let's go."

Charlie nodded and took a protective stance in front of Pastelli as Marshall led them over to the car while firing in the location of the shooters. Finally, reaching Hudson's car Marshall opened the front door. Charlie slid in and then Marshall moved Pastelli to the passenger side of the car.

"Hit the floorboards. Charlie, you're going to move the car past ours and then out of here. I'll follow you to the cover of our car and keep you protected. Then you floor it out of here and stop for no one. Call Stan and let him know what's going on."

"Got it," Charlie started up the car and Marshall started firing.

Once they made it back to the SUV, Charlie peeled out of the airport. Marshall ducked from a barrage of bullets as the shooters seemed to be moving around. The sirens were getting closer. It was then that Marshall registered, that when they moved Hudson's car there was no sign of the man.

His attention was drawn to the sound of cars tires squealing as they entered the premises followed by the slam of breaks.

"Marshall!" Mary called looking for him, searching around for any sign of Hudson.

"Shooters are spaced out on the hanger tops. I think they're moving. Charlie's moving the witness back to the office. Hudson showed up, but I don't know where he went" Marshall said, before more shots started.

Mary saw the head pop up and shot the person who had just fired.

"Mary, take cover," Marshall yelled, as another shooter appeared. Aiming he shot after a bullet hit Mary's car.

Mary could hear the sound of Stan's car as they scanned for the last shooter. Not seeing one she started to move towards Marshall's car. As she moved toward the car Hudson jumped out and took aim at Marshall.

"Get down," Mary screamed, running towards Marshall and tackling him to the ground.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan finally reached the airport and was pulling up between Mary and Marshall's vehicles when Mary raced toward Marshall. Stan bolted from the car, but not before hearing the retort of two shots.

Aiming his Glock at the shooter, he squeezed the trigger and watched as the man fell, before turning his gaze back to where Mary and Marshall were both on the ground. Running towards them, he pulled his cell phone out and requested an ambulance to the scene.

"Marshall! Mary!" Stan called out. When he didn't get an answer from either of them his concern escalated.

Reaching Mary's side first he knelt down so he could check her and then check Marshall. He was feeling rattled by seeing them both down. One was bad enough, but both of them was something he had never had to experience.

"Marshall?" Mary said, wincing in pain when she moved her arm.

"Where are you hit and how bad?" Stan asked urgently. He needed to find out who was hurt the worst.

"Arm and it stings like a mother. Check on Marshall. Stan, check on Marshall," Mary said, trying to push him towards Marshall, knowing something was wrong since he hadn't said anything.

Stan could tell Mary would be okay so he turned his attention to Marshall. He noticed Marshall's eyes were closed and he reached his trembling hand to feel for a pulse.

"Come on Marshall. Stay with us, son," Stan whispered softly, so only Marshall could hear. At first he didn't feel anything, but taking a few calming breaths he tried again and was rewarded with a pulse.

"Stan?" Mary asked, forcing herself into a sitting position, before making her way toward Marshall's other side.

Stan ignored Mary as the first rays of light lit up the morning sky and he could see the blood. Removing his jacket he bunched it up in a ball. Undoing Marshall's vest he found the wound and pressed his jacked down on it, relieved to hear the sirens getting closer from the distance.

"Help is on the way, Marshall. Hang in there. Just keep fighting."

Mary had seen the wound briefly. She leaned down and whispered in Marshall's ear.

"I know that you're mad at me and things aren't okay right now, but you made me a promise to not die on me and it doesn't matter if you're mad at me. You still have to keep that promise. If you don't, then there is no hope for me in ever believing that people can keep a promise. Don't leave me Marshall. I need you. We all need you."

The ambulance finally showed up and the paramedics rushed over to Marshall. Mary refused to allow them to touch her until they had Marshall ready to go. As he was loaded into the ambulance, she climbed in and finally let the paramedic look over her arm.

"I'll meet you at the hospital. I need to check the person I killed," Stan said, after the EMT confirmed the suspect was killed.

Mary nodded and the ambulance sped out of the airport. Stan watched them leave before heading over to the person he shot. Kneeling down and turning the body over he closed his eyes as he saw Hudson lying on the ground.

Stan waited until everything was cleared up with the police and headed towards the hospital.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan paced the floor of the waiting room. Mary hadn't returned from getting checked over and Marshall was still in surgery. Mary was the least of his concerns since he knew she would be fine. Marshall is the one who scared him. He was unconscious the entire time at the scene.

Stan made several phone calls while he waited. The first of course, was to Charlie to find out the status of the witness. Once getting the information he arranged for a couple of the other marshals to escort Pastelli to another airport.

The second call had been one he dreaded making. Dialing the number, he waited for an answer.

"Mann residence."

"May I speak with Seth?" Stan asked, not recognizing the voice.

"Grandpa, some guy wants to talk to you," a young voice said.

Stan couldn't help but smile at the child's voice. Must be one of Marshall's nieces.

"This is Seth."

"Seth, it's Stan."

"How bad?" Seth asked, hearing the concern in Stan's voice.

"They've taken him into surgery. The bullet got through the vest. He was unconscious when I was with him, but I don't know if he ever came to. I won't know more until we get an update."

"I'm getting us on the first flight out. What hospital?"

"Presbyterian. I'll have someone pick you up at the airport. Let me know what time you get in."

"I will. Make sure he knows we love him and are on our way."

"I will relay the message," Stan said, hoping he'd get the opportunity.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth walked into the living room where the rest of is family was sitting and talking.

"Alright, why don't you kids go try out the new game Grandma bought you," Seth said, wanting the children out of the room before talking to the others.

Rachel waited impatiently for the children to leave. Then looked to Seth. "What's going on?"

"We need to fly to Albuquerque. Marshall was shot. They've taken him into surgery."

"How bad?" Aaron asked.

"The bullet went through the vest and he wasn't conscious on the scene. Stan doesn't know anything else at the moment. He'll let us know once he knows. Rachel, can you pack us some things while I find us a flight?"

Rachel just nodded, trying not to think of Marshall on an operating table, fighting for his life. Things were just starting to get better. Seth and he were making baby steps in the right direction. Why couldn't her baby boy catch a break?"

Shane and Aaron both made quick calls after talking to Jory and Tess. Once getting approval to take time off, Aaron went to find his Dad. They were family and it was way past time to show Marshall that he was important to them and that they cared about him.

Aaron refused to believe that Marshall wouldn't be okay. He had to be. It would devastate them if they were to lose him. There were so many things they still needed to discuss. He owed Marshall more apologies then he cared to admit. The fact that this would be the first time that they had ever been to Marshall's spoke volumes. Mary was right that when it came to his brother, he and Shane hadn't put an effort.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary rushed into the waiting room and saw Stan pacing.

"What's the news on Marshall?"

"No word yet. He's still in surgery. What did the doctor say about you?"

"It's just a flesh wound. Did you ever find out what happened to Hudson?"

Stan explained what he had found at the scene.

"Damn it Stan, I saw Hudson aiming at Marshall and tried to get to him on time, but I couldn't reach him."

"This wasn't your fault. You had your suspicions about Hudson and we were looking into them. There just wasn't enough time to find out what he was up to or why. We can look into that as soon as Marshall is okay."

"We need to call his family."

"Already done. The whole group is flying out tonight and should arrive early tomorrow morning. Pastelli has also been taken care of so we are set to wait here."

"Where's Charlie?"

"I have him at the office filling out the paperwork on what happened while it's still fresh in his mind. Plus, I think he was a little shaken up about having to leave Marshall at the airport. Until he hears it from Marshall, I don't think he's going to realize that this isn't his fault."

"Mary, after we hear about Marshall, I want you to go to Hudson's place and tear it apart until you find me an answer to who hired him. I'm going to find out if anyone had a clue, but no proof so they kept moving him. Someone had to know he was dirty and I want to know why they didn't report it."

Mary nodded in understanding before sitting in one of the waiting chairs. It didn't take long before that position wasn't comfortable and she began pacing back and forth. Her mind going over the events of what happened tonight and then moving back to the shooting at the airport, when Grace was being moved.

"Stan, remember when I said that I thought Hudson was aiming at Charlie or Marshall. What if I was right?"

"If he would have taken Marshall or Charlie out of the picture he would have been assigned to move Pastelli. If that was the case, Marshall was more than likely the target then. It would be easier to botch up an assignment with a rookie instead of someone with Marshall's reputation."

"Grace was a distraction to get what he wanted. So we need to find out what the connection is with Hudson and the Copland family. If he could get rid of Pastelli then Copland would walk."

Stan nodded and called Charlie. He wanted him digging through the information. Just as he hung up, he noticed the door open and Marshall's doctor enter and stood up at the same time as Mary.

"Family of Marshall Mann?"

"His family is on their way. I'm his boss and am listed as his emergency contact plus next of kin. "

"Mr. Mann suffered a collapsed lung from the bullet that penetrated his side. We were able to remove the bullet and repair his lung. We've put in a chest tube to evacuate air and any residual blood or body fluids from the chest cavity, which helps keep the lung inflated. Once the lung heals and can stay inflated on its own, the tube will be pulled out. Depending how the healing goes well it could take a couple of days or up to a week. He's on a ventilator right now, but we're hoping it will only be overnight. We'll keep him on it longer if needed. He'll be on antibiotics to prevent infection. Baring any complications, he should make a full recovery."

"How long will his recovery be?" Stan asked.

"Most patients recover quickly without complications and go home in a week, rest there for a couple of weeks, return to part time work for a few weeks and be full speed by 3 to 4 months," the doctor replied.

"When can we see him?" Mary asked.

"I'll send a nurse in to get you once he's settled into a room."

"Thank you, Doctor." Stan said.

Mary watched as he left before falling back into the seat and dropped her head into her hands. If she had only been a few minutes earlier then maybe Marshall wouldn't be here. His lung would be fine and it wouldn't bee three to four months before he was up to full speed. She knew that she should be grateful that he was going to be okay. All she could think about was that if she had only gotten there sooner or insisted on going as backup maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Stan noticed Mary and sat down next to her placing a hand on her back.

"Marshall is going to be fine. You heard he doctor."

"Barring no complications, he'll be fine. I should have been there, Stan. We should have sent some backup in order to provide more protection. I could've insisted on backing them up after warning Marshall about Hudson. If I had run faster then I could've tackled him before the shot."

"Mary life isn't based on 'what ifs'. The only thing it does is to create a feeling of guilt where there should be none. We didn't send more people because of the leak that happened with Grace. A person looking for a high profile witness would have a heavy escort. That is why we didn't provide one. This is part of the job. Marshall knew the risks, just like the rest of us. You know he wouldn't want us feeling guilty about it."

Mary nodded in understanding, but before she could say anything they heard the door open. She looked up worried that it was the doctor. Instead she saw the Manns enter the room.

"How's my son?" Rachel demanded, looking at Stan and Mary.

"How did you get here so early?" Stan asked surprised by their early arrival.

"We managed to find seats on an earlier flight." Seth replied. "How's Marshall?"

Stan filled them in on what the doctor said.

"What happened?" Jory asked.

"He was working," Stan replied.

Seth knew that his daughters-in-law didn't know what Marshall did for a living and wouldn't understand why there weren't any more details to what happened. Before Jory could ask anything else Shane ran interference and had her sit down.


	14. Chapter 14

Mary and Stan stayed at the hospital long enough to sit by Marshall for a little while and to place a security detail outside his room as precaution. Right now they needed answers to what happened with Hudson. Seth had promised to call him if anything changed.

Mary and Stan parked in front of Hudson's apartment and were met by the apartment manager. After they served her the warrant, she let them into the apartment. The two thanked the manager and then began a room to room search. They didn't know if any of their identities were compromised or if Hudson only leaked information on the witness. Mary's theory on Pastelli was a good one. They just needed proof.

Mary moved to the room that was set up as an office. She turned on the computer and, while it booted up, began to go through the drawers. In the first drawer she found his bills and tore open the credit card and bank statements. Some of the purchases on the credit card statement didn't make sense.

"Stan," Mary called out.

"Find something?" Stan asked as he walked into the room.

"Hudson is single right?"

"Yes."

"Why would he be buying baby and maternity things?"

Stan grabbed the credit card statement and noted the , Babies "R" Us and .

"There is nothing in his file about a wife or a girlfriend. His sister is his next of kin on the paperwork. When I call her, I can ask. Let's keep digging there has to be more here."

They both looked up, when the computer came to life. Mary clicked on the screen and was surprised to see it wasn't password protected.

"Paperwork or computer?" Mary asked Stan.

"I'll take the computer. I know how you feel about them when they don't do what you want them to do."

Mary grabbed all the files out of Hudson's desk and then pulled out a chair, while Stan scoped through the computer. Going through his bank statements Mary noticed dates with large cash deposits that went out almost as quickly as they came.

"Stan, he's been depositing large sums of cash for almost a year, but they go to a hospital in Louisville, Kentucky, almost as soon as they come in."

"So you're thinking he was selling information to pay for hospital bills?"

"Several of them. The money has been going in and out for about the same time on the bank statements."

"Here's the information on the transfer from tonight. He didn't even try to encrypt it. There is no mention of Marshall or Charlie by name. Just that there would be two inspectors involved in the transfer. Let's get this stuff back to the office and have I/T go through it. They can do a more thorough look. I'll call Hudson's next of kin, we can track who the hospital bill is for in Kentucky. We need to know how much information he sold and to whom. With any luck it's somewhere on the computer. I'll leave the detail on Marshall for now. Let's get back to the office."

"Stan…"

"Mary, I know that you would rather be at the hospital with Marshall. He'll probably be out for the rest of the night. I'll call Seth and tell him to phone us the second Marshall stirs. He'll need reassurances that everyone is alright and we're the ones who can tell him that. Right now, we can find answers to what and why this happened. We both know that Marshall will want to know where we are in the investigation, what happened and why. He's not the only one."

"Fine, but I'm going to the hospital the first chance I get. If he moves I don't care what's going on in the investigation. My ass will be on the fast track to the hospital. Are we clear?" Mary asked, threateningly.

"I wouldn't dream of stopping you, but I'll be driving so you both don't end up there," Stan knew no form of logic would get through Mary's brain until she actually saw Marshall awake.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Aaron and Shane were sitting in the room with Marshall while their parents went to get something to eat. The two brothers had every intention of spending the night in the room so their parents could get some sleep. They were tired from the flight.

"Listen Marshall, I don't know if you can hear me, but you really need to stop scaring the crap out of us. These two hospital trips are one too many in a year. We need you to wake up and be okay. I know we're still working through things, but Aaron and I need you around so that we can be the older brothers we should've been to you years ago. I'm hoping better late then never applies," Shane said, hoping to get a response from Marshall.

Watching his baby brother lie still for so long was scary. Marshall was never idle, always moving in some way.

"I can't believe he was injured again. How much crap did we give him about his job? Never again will I say another word about it. I'm surprised Mary's not here," Aaron said to Shane.

"Dad got a call from Stan. They're investigating what happened. Mary threatened bodily harm if she's not informed the second Marshall wakes up."

"That sounds about right. I wonder how Mary and Marshall are progressing with fixing things."

"I have a feeling theirs is going about as slow as ours. I think Dad is the only one who seems to be making any ground. We need to do some serious brother bonding time after he's healed."

"I have a feeling Marshall would like that. You'll need to build up more trust before he's completely comfortable, but it's time you two acted like his brothers," Rachel said, entering the room.

"Trust me, when I say, we know. I wish it hadn't taken the incident at Christmas and the accident for us to start getting it. Baby brother will be opening those blue eyes and giving us crap before you know it. He's tougher then he looks," Shane replied.

"He was always tough. The three of you just never realized it because Marshall doesn't show it unless he has to," Rachel said.

"What we viewed as his weakness has turned out to be his greatest strength. I'm glad he's willing to give us another chance to try and mend the fences. The three of us don't deserve the kind of forgiveness he has shown. I took his nature for granted and lost the son who once adored me. Now I can only hope to become a man that he can respect."

Aaron and Shane stared at their Dad in shock. They had never heard anything remotely emotional from their father when it came to Marshall and that was as close to sentiment as they had ever seen from him.

"Don't look at me like that. I know I don't tell you, boys, often enough that I love you. Somehow, it started to seem inappropriate as you got older. Now it just seems foolish that I didn't. Look how much damage it did to your brother," Seth said, while unconsciously reaching down to squeeze Marshall's hand.

Shane looked at Aaron and wasn't sure if he should say the next words, but Aaron already started.

"Dad, we know that you love us. Even Marshall knows that. It's just you spent more time with us because you couldn't relate to him as well as us. Not saying whether it's right or wrong, but that's just the way it was."

"You took my example and made it harder on your brother and I did nothing to stop it. There really isn't a good enough excuse for those years we've wasted. We can't turn back time, but we can learn and not repeat the mistakes we've already made. I'm glad you are planning on it. He deserves that and much more."

"I think we've all learned from the past. But, from now on we move forward as a family. Let's just focus on Marshall waking up. He's in for a long recovery," Rachel said, trying to steer the conversation to the future. She knew that her husband and sons were well aware of what they needed to change. Marshall didn't need to hear this conversation continue.

"Shane and I will sit with him through the night. Honestly, the two of you look exhausted and should rest up tonight. We can handle it from here."

Seth looked at Rachel and could tell Shane was right.

"After you two grab something to eat, we'll head to Marshall's house and be back first thing in the morning. Make sure he knows that we're here," Seth said.

Rachel wanted to argue, but she could tell she was drained both emotionally and physically. It didn't matter how many times someone told you that your child would be okay; you needed to see it for yourself to believe. Since Marshall was going to be on the ventilator until the morning, odds were that he wouldn't wake up before they could get back. Seth also looked tired; rest would do the both of them a world of good.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary found herself wandering down the hospital corridor on her way to Marshall's room. She had to use her badge to get in, since it was well past visiting hours, but she didn't care. She and Stan had been looking into Hudson for most of the night. Stan was going to stop by and see Marshall later that morning if she wanted to be technical about time.

Mary couldn't wait that long. She needed to hear the sound of the monitors to reassure her that he was fine. It didn't matter if he wasn't awake, just the monitor and ventilator would do for now. If she went home she would be plagued with nightmares of him dying and that she couldn't take. She needed reassurance to feel like her world was still balanced. Well as balanced as it had been for the two of them lately. She didn't want to think about that.

Entering the room she saw Aaron and Shane asleep in two of the plastic chairs. Mary shook her head, grabbing another and pulling it up to the bed.

"Hi Marshall, I hope you don't mind me here. I needed to see you. Your brothers are sleeping on the job. They're probably tired from their flight in," Mary said softly, while rubbing her neck trying to ease the tension. "I'm sorry that I didn't get to you faster. If we had put the pieces together sooner, then maybe you wouldn't be lying here. Keep fighting, we need you."

Mary took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. It seemed that she always was nervous around Marshall these days. Her greatest fear was to say the wrong thing and send them back to square one.

"What do you mean that you were too late?" Shane asked.

Mary startled at the voice.

"We thought he might be in trouble and when I put the pieces together I got to the airport and saw the shooter, but was unable to reach him soon enough. I got grazed. But if we had figured it out sooner, then he wouldn't be here."

"You tried to protect him. The job is what it is. Dad was right when he told us that we all knew the risks when we signed up. Let it go, Mary. Marshall and you may not be on the best of terms, but he wouldn't blame you for what happened."

"When did you get so smart?"

Shane looked at his brother hooked up to the machines.

"Shortly after Christmas. I've been ignorant for a long time where Marshall is concerned. I regret it, but we've been given a second chance to try fixing things and I have every intention of doing so. I'm guessing you are too," Share replied.

Mary nodded. She didn't want to mention that she had to fix herself before Marshall and she could rebuild their relationship. It wasn't any of his business. She was making progress with Shelley oddly enough, but she was still avoiding the question that Brandi had asked her. Did she hurt Marshall on purpose? The more she thought about it the more she pushed it out of her mind. Deep down she had a bad feeling she knew the true answer and wasn't ready to deal with it yet.

"Did the doctor say anything?" Mary asked, changing the topic.

"Marshall is getting stronger and if he continues at this pace through the morning they're going to remove the tube and see if he can manage without it. He's a fighter."

"You have no idea."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth and Rachel walked in early the following morning to see Mary asleep with her head on Marshall's bed and her hand intertwined with his. Shane and Aaron were both sound asleep in the plastic chairs.

Smiling the two moved closer to their sons each lightly shaking their shoulders. Both jumped at the contact and relaxed when they saw their parents.

"How late is it?" Aaron asked, rubbing his eyes.

"It's early. We wanted to come back and be here if Marshall woke up. The two of you need to get some sleep in a real bed," Rachel said softly.

"When did Mary arrive?" Seth asked as the two stood up and stretched.

"Late last night. Stan's supposed to stop by this morning before they go to work," Shane replied.

"I'm already here. Has Mary been here all night?" Stan asked, entering the room.

"Yes, she has," Aaron replied.

Stan moved over towards Mary to wake her up. He moved back after shaking her as she snapped.

"Marshall? What's wrong? What's happening?" Mary asked confused.

Before anyone could answer the doctor and a nurse walked in to check on Marshall. They moved out into the hallway to give the medical staff some room, and waited impatiently to find out what the doctor had to say.

The doctor came out and moved over to the group.

"How's my son?" Rachel asked.

"He made it through the night as well as I've expected, so I want to try taking him off the ventilator today. We'll start to wean him off and test to ensure he can breathe on his own."

"When are you going to do this?" Mary asked.

"He needs to be easily awoken to do the test on him. As soon as that happens then we'll start," the doctor replied, before walking away.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

They were all turning to go back into Marshall's room when Stan stopped Mary.

"Mary, I need you to go home, shower and change, and then meet me back at the office. I'll visit with Marshall for a little while before heading in."

"We have some more information?"

"Hudson's sister is going to call us today."

"So, do you think she knows anything?"

"I'm thinking it's related to his family. Hudson's sister Noelle lives in Emminence, Kentucky."

"Alright, let me say goodbye to Marshall and then I'll head home and meet you at the office," Mary said. After seeing Stan's nod, she went in before heading home.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth and Rachel sat, watching Marshall after everyone left. They both knew that their sons would be back sooner then they should. With all the problems with Marshall this year, they seemed afraid to not be here. It was as if the lack of the presence would tell their brother they didn't care enough to come.

Rachel knew the three of them had a lot to work out and had made baby steps, but not enough. She had a feeling that was about to change. She wondered how all of the changes would affect Marshall. He needed them, but would be leery for awhile. She had already pulled Aaron and Shane to the side to make them aware of how careful they had to tread. She doubted if this happened again months down the road that Marshall would even consider giving them a chance. They had a lot to prove and a lot of work ahead of them to keep it going.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Rachel?" Seth asked.

"I'm worried about what happens if they fix things and then Aaron and Shane go back to their normal routine. I don't think Marshall has it in him at this point to give them another chance. They've picked on him since he was in his teens. Part of that is our fault for not stepping in, but I don't want another Christmas without our family together. I don't ever want to see one person's presents under the tree because we made them leave. I know things are being mended, but I'm worried about old habits starting up again later. If I'm worried about it, what do you think Marshall's thinking?"

"I think Marshall is keeping his expectations low and waiting for things to return to the way they were before. I'm not going to make that mistake again, and I hardly doubt his brothers will either. Marshall won't expect perfection, just respect. No one wants a repeat of Christmas Eve. Mary and Stan both want to change their relationship with Marshall. Everyone wants this to work out."

"Mary and Marshall may not be able to resolve their differences," Rachel said.

"They both care about the other deeply. Mary is scared to death of losing Marshall and I think our son misses her. Their issues are deeper in some ways then the rest of our and will take longer to fix; but I don't believe they won't be able to overcome this. I'm not sure Marshall will view Mary in the same way, but I think he's hoping at the least to be friends again."

"I hope you're right, Seth. For both their sakes, I really hope so," Rachel replied moving her hand to grasp Marshall's. She was about to say something, but felt a light squeeze. Looking down she saw Marshall's fingers trying to wrap around her hand.

"Seth, get the doctor," Rachel said urgently.

"What's wrong?" Seth asked concerned, getting up from the chair.

"He's trying to squeeze my hand," Rachel replied, unable to stop the tears that streaked down her face.

Seth quickly left the room to get the doctor and Rachel turned her attention back to her son.

"That's my boy. You can do this, Marshall. Open those beautiful blue eyes for me. Come back to us. We need you. I'm here, Dad and your brothers are here, and Mary, and Stan will be back as soon as we call them. You've had us all worried. We love you, Marshall."

A few minutes later, Rachel was rewarded with the sight of his blues eyes, before she saw a flash panic from the tube in his throat. Rachel quickly grabbed his hands as he tried reaching for the tube..

"Marshall, look at me, son. Look at me, that's it. The tube is helping you with your breathing. The doctor want to try and take it out, but they need to make sure you can be easily woken up before they can run the test to make sure you can breath on your own. Please stay calm. I'll be right here for you."

Rachel watched as the information slowly settled into Marshall's brain. She knew with the drugs his mind would be fuzzy and would take longer than they were used to for him to comprehend what was happening to him. The look that just formed on his face told her the words registered. It was just in time as the doctor and Seth entered to see Marshall awake.

The doctor explained to Marshall pretty much what his Mom had just told him before letting him go to sleep again. They were going to try waking him up and see what would happen before starting the test. After the doctor left, Marshall fell back asleep.

Seth looked over to Rachel and smiled.

"He's so much tougher than I ever realized. I'm going to call Stan and Mary. They'll want to know what is happening. They may not be able to make it right away, but at some point they'll stop by."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary was beyond irritated with her latest witness. The idiot had the nerve to get in trouble as she was going to head to the hospital. They had been able to take Marshall off the ventilator and if all went well either tonight or tomorrow they wanted to have him sitting in a chair. Something about it helping to prevent complications. She didn't really care why as long as it meant he would be okay.

She pulled into the police station and parked the car. She swore Travis had better have a damn good explanation for the kind of trouble that got him hauled in by the police or he was going to get a lecture like he had never heard before. There was absolutely no excuse for this behavior.

In reality, she knew that she was overreacting to current events, but it didn't matter. Travis wouldn't step out of line again after this.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan, Rachel, and Seth were waiting impatiently to be allowed back into Marshall's room. The doctor was taking him off the ventilator and wanted to check the wound. It seemed like an eternity passed, but finally the medical team emerged and let them back into the room.

Rachel's eyes filled up with tears when she saw Marshall sitting on his bed, with his eyes wide open. She could tell from the look in his eyes he had questions.

"Marshall, my sweet boy, you have got to stop scarring us like this," Rachel said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Sorry, scarred you," Marshall's eyes drifted towards Stan.

"Rachel, I think Marshall and Stan need a few minutes to talk. We'll be right outside. Let us know when we can return," Seth said, gently taking Rachel's arm.

"What happened?" Marshall asked as soon as his parents were out of the room.

"What do you remember?"

"We were ambushed at the airport. Somehow they knew we were coming. Hudson showed up, but then disappeared. I had Charlie drive Pastelli out of there. I don't remember what happened after that. Are Charlie and Pastelli okay?"

"Charlie was a little rattled afterwards, but he's fine. Pastelli is out of our custody and relocated."

"Where was I shot? I had my vest on?"

"The bullet got through the side and hit your lung. They repaired it, but you'll be out of the field for awhile," Stan said.

"What else don't I remember?"

"You know enough for now, Marshall. Give yourself some time to heal. We'll talk about the rest later. You just woke up and I don't want to keep your family from seeing you to long. Jory and Tess haven't had a chance to stop by yet and your brothers should be returning soon."

"Why's everyone here?" Marshall asked, confused.

"Because you scared the crap out of us and we weren't sure what was going to happen. You really need to stop doing that. I'm getting too old for this. Let me get your folks. I have to get back to the office, but I'll return later on. Do what the doctor says and don't give him any grief."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Stan stepped out into the hallway and stopped by Rachel and Seth. Jory and Tess went in sensing Stan wanted to talk to their in-laws.

"Is Marshall alright?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, he remembers part of what happened, but not all of it. I didn't fill in the gaps because honestly I don't want to upset him. I figure in time he will remember it all. By then, Mary should be here to see him so he won't worry about her."

"Why would he be worried about Mary?" Rachel asked.

"Marshall wasn't the only one injured. Mary's wasn't that bad. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you more than that."

"We understand," Seth replied.

"I'll stop back later tonight. I've got some work that needs to be finished."

Seth nodded and wondered what the rest of the story was. He knew that he wouldn't get the whole story because of the job that they did, but it made him worry about what they didn't know.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall had fallen asleep several times talking to the various members of his family. None of them would let him apologize for it. He felt bad they had come all the way out here just to watch him sleep.

"How are you doing, Jory?" Marshall asked indicating his future niece or nephew.

"This one is going to be a kicker. The baby likes to make sure I know it's in there," Jory replied, knowing Marshall was trying to get the attention off of him. By the way his eyes were fluttering she had a feeling he'd fall asleep soon.

"Soccer player. I promised Lizzie I'd wish for a girl for her. She doesn't want a brother."

"Of course you did. She has Uncle Marshall wrapped around her finger," Tess said teasingly.

"Luckily, they take after you and Jory," Marshall said softly before drifting off to sleep.

"We shouldn't have him talking so much. It's hard for him," Tess observed.

"The doctor is going to start his deep breathing exercises today. They want to help the lung stay inflated," Seth replied. "Jory, you look tired, why don't you get some rest? We can stay with Marshall."

Tess could tell Shane and Aaron wanted to stay. "I'll take Jory back to the hotel. We can relax for awhile. Let us know if anything changes. Rachel and Seth, you both need to eat."

"I thought we were the parents," Rachel teased slightly. She knew the girls were trying to make sure they didn't forget to take care of themselves. It was hard to leave Marshall.

"We will," Seth reassured.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Marshall had slept for a couple of hours, before he started having a nightmare. Seth noticed the twitching start and whispered words meant to reassure, but they didn't seem to be helping.

Rachel had stepped up next to try easing her son's mind, but nothing seemed to help. His eyes shot open and he began to frantically scan the room.

"Son, what are you looking for?" Seth asked.

"Where is she? How bad was she hurt? Is she dead? Where is she?" Marshall's voice rose with each question.

"Marshall, where's who?" Aaron asked.

"Mary! What happened to Mary? She tried to push me out of the way. Where is she? Mom, is she dead? Is that why she isn't here?" Marshall asked, getting more agitated.

Seth stepped out of the room with his cell phone as the remainder of his family tried to calm Marshall down. There was only one thing his son needed to relax and he was damn well going to get her here.


	15. Chapter 15

Stan and Mary were working in the office, waiting for a fax from Hudson's sister Beverly with the bank and routing number information that would help them trace the money back to whoever paid off Hudson.

Mary's cell began to buzz.

"Shannon."

"Mary, this is Seth. I need you to come to the hospital right away. Marshall is getting really worked up, thinking you're dead. We can't convince him otherwise."

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in no more than ten minutes. Give him your phone and let me talk to him. It might help," Mary replied, while grabbing her gear.

"What's wrong?" Stan asked. Mary quickly explained. "I'll drive. You just talk to him. I don't want him hurting himself."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Seth entered the room. Marshall was more agitated then before he had stepped out. None of the words he was hearing were helping. Instead it seemed that they were making things worse.

"Marshall, take the phone. Talk to Mary," Seth ordered.

"Mare?"

"Hey Doofus, I heard you're getting worked up. You need to calm down. I'm perfectly fine. You're the one that got hurt. I don't want you messing up the doctor's handy work."

"But you…"

"Didn't get to you fast enough. I'm so sorry that I didn't get there sooner."

"Where are you?"

"We're almost at the hospital. Papa Stan can drive pretty fast when he's inspired. We're pulling up to the parking structure. Just stay calm and I'll be there in a few minutes. Promise me you'll stay calm."

"Hurry Mare. I promise, but you need to hurry," Marshall replied, trying not to recall the images from his nightmare.

"I'm hurrying. Almost there, just a few more minutes. I have to disconnect or the security guard is going to get pissed at me."

"Don't hang up," Marshall begged.

"I really wish I could promise you that, but if I don't, they aren't going to let me see you. It won't be for long that I can promise you."

"Okay, just please get here."

"I'm almost there," Mary said again, before hanging up, and trying not to cry. She had never heard Marshall that scared before. It bothered her that she upset him so much. She broke into run down the corridor and skidded to a stop in front of Marshall's room.

She ignored that his family was staring at her, when she came rushing in. Moving forward she came up to Marshall's side and saw that he was still clutching the cell phone. The tear that slid down his cheek spoke volumes and in some ways it was the first time since they'd grown apart that she felt a slimmer of hope that they could work things out eventually.

"Hey, what's with all the fussing? We just got them to take you off the ventilator and don't want you hurting yourself," Mary said softly, gently wiping the tear off his cheek.

Marshall looked to his Dad, who then ushered the rest of the family out of the room. They couldn't say what they needed to with an audience. It was a good thing they had all been accustomed to living with the marshals.

"Are you okay? I remembered you calling out and running towards me. The shots rang out, but I couldn't tell if you were hurt. You weren't here so…"

"So you thought I might have died or was in another room healing," Mary finished for him.

Marshall nodded in agreement.

"I have extra motivation to stick around these days. You and I have a lot of things to work out. You can't get rid of me that easy. I'm in this for the long haul. Don't ever give up on me, Marshall. I'm damaged goods, but I'm starting to heal with Shelley's help. I haven't given up so please, don't give up on me. I know, it's not fair of me to ask that, but you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. It may not show often, but you are. In time, I'm hoping that I'll be able to explain why I've treated you the way I have. The other part I need to figure out is what I want for me and us. You also need to figure out what you want from me. We're healing Marshall, but at a snail's pace."

"Stay for a little while?" Marshall asked.

"I was planning on it. Stan and I were just finishing up a few things in the office."

"Stay."

Mary reached out and squeezed Marshall's hand. When he didn't pull it away from her, she felt a huge sense of relief. They were making progress. She just wished it hadn't taken both of them being shot to get there.

"I'm staying. I promise," Mary replied.

"Good," Marshall whispered, before falling asleep.

Mary refused to let go of his hand while he was sleeping. It was the first time since this whole mess started that she felt connected to him again. She wasn't ignorant enough to think that this would fix everything, but finally there was something to hope for.

Stan walked over toward Mary and squeezed her shoulder. He had a pretty good idea what she was thinking. It was the biggest stride they had made in repairing the damage. Somehow with this Stan was sure the two would find their way back to each other.

Mary looked up at Stan and smiled. She realized it was the first real smile she had in a long time.

"What caused the memory?" Mary asked, remembering Marshall's family when she heard the footsteps coming into the room.

"Not really sure. He was sleeping and woke up confused and looking for someone," Seth said, and then relayed the rest of what had happened before he called Mary.

"It might have been our conversation about what happened that triggered it," Stan replied.

"You went over the case with him shortly after he woke up? What were you thinking, Stan?" Mary chastised.

"I didn't give him specifics. He asked what happened and I had him tell me what he recalled."

"Has the doctor said anything more about his health?" Mary asked.

"No, but they started his deep breathing exercises earlier. He's still sleeping a lot, but that's expected," Rachel replied.

Mary took a good look at Marshall's Mother and Father. The two looked worn out.

"Why don't all of you get some sleep? Stan and I can stay for awhile and keep Marshall company. You look exhausted," Mary said, looking at Stan who nodded in agreement.

"Call us if anything happens," Seth said, before leaving.

"We will," Stan promised.

Mary reached over and pushed a stray strand of hair off of Marshall's forehead.

Stan waited, knowing Mary wanted to talk, but had to determine what she was comfortable sharing with him. She was getting better at opening up, but the one person she always talked to was the one she couldn't turn to. That fact had her turning to Stan with the things she felt capable of sharing.

"He was worried about me."

"Mary, Marshall may be confused on how he feels about you right now, but it doesn't mean that he ever stopped caring. It was probably another part of the issue."

"He deserved so much better than what I gave him. Why would he stay?"

"Marshall sees things that most people don't. You show your tough exterior to the world, but he managed to see beyond that. Something you did that first time you worked together showed him that underneath the sarcastic front was a person with a genuine heart who needed someone to trust. I thought he was nuts when he told me to snap you up. As usual, Marshall was right. The problem is, along the way, we started to take him for granted and you can only keep doing that to someone for so. Hopefully we've all learned our lesson and won't repeat it."

"He saved me from myself and I hurt him in return."

"Marshall is a very forgiving person if he cares about you. Just give him time. Things will get better."

"They will, but they may never be what they were before."

"In some ways they can't be. You can't fall back into the same routine as before. You can be friends again, but you have to put your fair share of time in."

"He's worth the effort. I still wonder sometimes how I got so lucky to have him in my life and how carelessly I almost threw it away. Fixing this relationship is top priority in my book. Patience isn't my strongest suit, though. I'm scared of making a mess of it."

"That means you won't. You might stumble along the way, but you've finally realized how empty your world is without him in it. It's a lesson that both of us should never forget."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary found herself walking down the hospital corridor six days later. Marshall was going to be released on the following day. He was to rest for two more weeks before being able to return to work part time.

Mary's daily routine included a brief stop at before going home. Seth and Rachel were still in town. Seth was going to have to leave the day after Marshall was released. Jory, Tess, Aaron and Shane had all gone home already. They had wanted to stay, but work called them back in.

Things between her and Marshall were better than before. Still not what she hoped for, but they were definitely past the fear of speaking at all stage. She was cautious about what they talked about. They kept to mutual topics and avoided any subjects that could be considered touchy. So far the subject of what happened had been barely discussed. They went over the shooting, but hadn't told Marshall about the pieces they had put together and since he hadn't asked yet, they didn't bring it up. Mary knew it was just a matter of time. The marshal in him would want answers soon.

Turning into the room she saw Marshall sitting on the bed, watching TV with his mother nowhere in sight.

"I come bearing gifts," Mary said, carrying a piece of pie.

"What kind?" Marshall asked, immediately curious.

"Razzleberry pie. I know you wanted to try it and I wasn't really sure if you had. Where's your Mom?"

"I sent her home for a decent nights sleep."

"Is she okay?"

Marshall couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face. Usually Mary wouldn't think of asking. Normally she'd shrug and just start talking. He knew that she was working on her problems, but it was nice to see her show concern for someone important to him.

"Thanks for the pie. I still hadn't gotten around to trying it," Marshall said in between bites.

"Well your appetite is definitely back. I bet your Mom is going to make you a homemade meal for your return."

Marshall nodded since his mouth was full at the moment. Swallowing, finally he looked at Mary and decided to ask what he wanted to know.

"Did you find out who Hudson sold out to and why?"

"I wondered how long that would take for you to ask. We found out why and are closing in on the suspect currently. Hudson's sister is six months pregnant and her husband walked out on her while their first child was in the hospital for Cystic Fibrosis. She couldn't keep paying the hospital bills and was forced to sell all their baby things after her first child. Hudson sold out some of the witnesses' locations in order to pay for the hospital bills and what she needed for the baby."

"Why didn't he try legal means?"

"He apparently did, at first. He sold his house and used that money and later tried for a loan, but didn't have collateral and his income to debt ratio was too high to get a loan. Hudson was putting her bills on his credit cards. He never told her that he was struggling financially. He turned to the only way he knew to raise money and stay afloat quickly."

"I'm assuming Grace was either a decoy or he sold her out too."

"Decoy to see how we operate; trying to get you or Charlie out of the way so he could get in on the Pastelli case."

"I understand the need to protect your family, but there are better ways of doing it."

"Agreed. The money he was paid has bounced around from location to location, so tracking it has been fun. With a little help from an old friend we're almost there. Hudson's sister is also sending something that she found to Stan. Hudson told her if anything happened to him to forward it to his boss."

"I wonder if he decided to do the right thing if something happened to him. How's his sister going to take care of her and the kids?"

"A group of marshals from where Hudson first worked are going to try raising some money for her. What happened wasn't her fault and, apparently, until all this happened, he was an outstanding marshal."

"How are my witnesses?"

"Charlie is taking good care of them and I'm helping him out as much as possible. Stan fills in, when he can. He took your shooting hard, but partners usually do," Mary replied, trying not to remember the gas station or the airport. Marshall would always be her partner in her eyes.

"That they do," Marshall said, recalling Mary on the stretcher, being wheeled into the E.R.

Mary chewed on her lower lip. This is where she usually got up and left, but she really needed to ask.

"What are we, Marshall?"

"I'm not really sure. I obviously still care about you, but I don't know if it's as your former partner or former best friend, or if there is hope for friendship or partnership again. Mary, right now my feelings about you are still mixed up. I can't say what we're going to be in the future. We have a lot to talk about and probably even more to work out. Until I can wrap my head around everything, I just don't know."

"You'll give us a chance though to work things out, right?"

"I'm willing to talk things over and see where it leads. Things still need to change. I know that you're working on your issues with Shelley. I've got issues to deal with too, and while we're both making progress we're not there yet. We're better, we can talk and…"

When Marshall stopped Mary knew that he was trying not to say something that could potentially hurt her feelings.

"Marshall, say what it is that is on your mind. If we're going to make this work, then we have to be honest with one another. It may hurt, but I need to hear it. We won't get anywhere if you can't tell me things that I need to hear. And what, Marshall?"

"I don't think any less of you now, than I once did. I'm not sure that my opinion of you will ever return to where it once was, but it's better than before," Marshall replied, looking away.

"There were plenty of reasons for you not to think much of me. I hurt you several times over. Not sure really why yet or maybe I am and still can't face the truth. Look, it's late and before we make this more personal then we're ready for, I should go."

Mary got up and headed towards the door. When she reached it she stopped and turned around.

"Would it be okay if I stopped in and check on you over the next couple of weeks? I'll call first, so that way you can let me know if you want me there."

"I think that would be okay."

Mary gave a small smirk before heading out of the room. Marshall was right, they still had a long way to go, but he seemed to be willing to try now. Maybe she hadn't permanently destroyed them. The fact that he was going to let her come to his house in itself surprised her. She hadn't been back, since she confronted him that day he'd been listening to his answering machine.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Rachel watched Marshall as he lay on his couch, watching the History channel. She could tell something was on his mind by the way he stared at the screen, but wasn't seeing anything.

Walking over to him she sat on the coffee table, blocking his view of the screen.

"Mom?"

"What's going on in that head of yours? I'm assuming it has something to do with Mary since you asked her to give you a few days to settle in before coming over. Talk to me, Marshall."

Marshall moved to sit up, before beginning. He knew it would take a few seconds and was hoping to gather his thoughts.

"I don't know what to think about Mary anymore. I still feel betrayed by her for running off with Faber and still seeing him afterward. I don't think it would have bothered me so much if I hadn't laid out my feeling in front of her, before she left. She could pretend until she's blue in the face that she didn't know what I was saying, but she's not that stupid."

"I loved her, Mom, and she didn't want me. Once again, I wasn't the person that someone could love. I kept thinking, over the years through little gestures that we were getting beyond that point and there might be hope. I felt like a fool."

"You are not a fool. Mary cares about you deeply, but it's obvious, someone hurt her in a way that makes her feel damaged enough to build up walls to protect those she cares about. I honestly think she believes that it protects that person."

"Faber is a sleaze, Mom. When she went to touch me, after she returned I pulled away feeling like she was now dirty, somehow. In the hospital, it was the first time that feeling wasn't there. I don't know what I want anymore. I'm not sure if there is any love left or if I believe that she can be a friend in the true meaning of the word."

"So keep taking it slow, but keep moving forward. You obviously still care about her or your reaction at the hospital wouldn't have been so severe when you didn't see her. Second chances are about discovering if a person can become better and not make the mistakes they had in the past. I think Mary's learned exactly what she could lose by continuing on the same way. It's no different then your father and brothers. They're changing because if they don't, they'll lose you. We all want you in our lives, including Mary. Maybe you can't love her again like you did, but that doesn't mean you can't be friends."

"If they cared so much then why did I have to hit rock bottom before they became concerned? I don't get why it took that. Am I supposed to just forget the past and everything that's happened? I'm so damn confused about what I'm supposed to think and feel. I'm tired of trying to put the pieces together, but I know I need to in order to figure out what I want. How pathetic is it that I know what I don't want, but I don't have a clue what I want anymore? I know that I don't hate anyone involved in all of this, but I have so many insecurities about how long these changes will last that I go from giving and feeling hope that things will work out to fearing that I'm going to get hurt and wanting to pull away to protect myself. Sometimes I'm still not sure if working things out is worth the risk."

"Oh Marshall, I know that you're confused. I get that. You're trying to solve all of this at one time. It will take time to regain your trust and the others know that. The question is, can you forgive the past and start from scratch? If you can't do that then there is no point in even attempting to work things out. Are you willing to try? Do you want your father, brothers, Mary and Stan in your life or do you want to isolate yourself from all of us and build walls to push people out? Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?"

"No, but I don't want to spend it, waiting for something to happen that never will or to keep being used as a doormat so others can feel good about themselves."

"Do you believe that people can change?"

"Yes."

"If you believe that others can change, why can't you believe that your family and friends can change for the better? What are you afraid of?"

"That I'll lose my heart and myself if things go back to the way they were before. I can't go through that again. The only thing that I do know is that if it happens, I'll leave and won't come back."

Rachel gasped at that statement. This was an all or nothing situation.

"What happens if they stumble along the way?"

"Mom, I don't expect perfection. What I do expect is an acknowledgment of the error and that it won't become a habit. I feel like I'm the one with everything to lose."

"Everyone loses if this doesn't work out. No one wants to lose because the stakes are the highest they've ever been. Maybe what you need to do is step away from this and stop trying to force yourself to fix things immediately. You're telling Mary that you need to go slow and take time and you're right you do. The problem is, when you're away from her you're doing the exact opposite. I think that you need to stop over thinking. Figure out what your heart wants. Deep down, you know the answer, but are scared to get hurt again. It's understandable, Marshall. While I want you to give them a second try, I know that you need to do what's best for you. I don't think isolating yourself from the world will achieve that. Listen to your heart and instincts. They've always been your best guides."

Marshall didn't say anything, so Rachel got up and went into the kitchen to make lunch. She knew he needed to think over the words she said and then figure out where to go from there. She just hoped he followed his heart and not his fear. Things wouldn't go well if he let his worries take over. She had meant what she said about them being justified, but unlike Marshall, she saw both sides and knew how much the others wanted to make things work.

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Marshall sat on his patio two days later, looking at the sky and running things over in his mind. Maybe his Mom was right. He thought back to the look on Mary's face as he asked if it would be okay to see him at his house. Did he not want to ever see that smirk again, to be her friend? Faber still turned his stomach, but as much as he had cared and tried to tell her he loved her before she left, the truth was he had no claim on her. Her judgment in men was horrid and he hated to watch the train wreck that was coming.

They would need ground rules about not telling him about her dates and her not making fun of his. He needed to figure out how to get Mary out of his heart as anything more than a fantasy and move on. If he could figure out how to do that, then maybe they could be friends again.

This time, he'd keep his guard up before letting himself get in too deep. His Dad and he were making progress. It was slow and hard, but it was the first time in his life that his father had made any kind of effort to get to know him without passing judgment. Yes, occasionally they said something to each other that sounded like old times, but they managed to talk through it instead of around it.

The final part in the equation was his brothers. The three of them were fumbling through things, but it was like walking on egg shells. Part of it was his fault. Shane and Aaron were so scared to say the wrong thing that they kept to neutral topics. It was nice to not be belittled, but he wished they could talk about more then the weather, baseball or current events. He needed to explain himself better. They would tease each other the way brothers do and he was okay with that, but not okay with the ganging up and making it into a personal attack. He wanted to be someone they could talk to and respect while be treated the same in return. Now he just needed to figure out how to do that.

If he could just talk to each one of them, explaining what his expectation were and that he didn't need them to stop being who they were, then maybe things would work out better. Maybe, it was what they were waiting for or trying to get him to say in a casual conversation that none of them seemed to be able to muster just yet. He didn't like that they were afraid to have a conversation with him. That's not what he wanted, as it would be asking them to change completely who they were. It wasn't fair to ask his brother's to do that.


	16. Chapter 16

Mary called Shelley to schedule an extra appointment. She knew sooner or later she would have to talk to Marshall about Faber and she needed a little direction as to why she hurt him. The reason was buried within her and even though she had an inkling of what it was, she needed someone to push her to admit it. Shelley was at least good for that. That woman would wait you out until she received the answer she was digging for.

Mary sat in the waiting room, fighting the urge to run. A part of her wanted to turn back time to when things were okay between her and Marshall. It was longer than she cared to remember. Before she could think more about that she was shown into Shelley's office.

"Mary, I have to admit I was a little shocked to see you want another session already," Shelley said, as Mary sat down in the chair.

"Probably not as much as I was to make one. I need to be able to talk to Marshall and something tells me that the dreaded conversation is coming sooner than I'd like."

"Why?"

Mary hated this part. Shelley knew the answer, but would still make her say it. That was the reason she was here, but it didn't make it easier to say the words. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and knew it was time to admit the truth.

"I'm scared of how much things have changed between us. I don't know that he'll ever be able to think of me the same way again. I'm going to have to hear how little he thinks of me. It's going to hurt to hear those words."

"Don't you need to hear this in order to make things better?"

"Duh."

"Mary," Shelley cautioned. They had discussed her sarcasm as a defense mechanism already.

"I know."

"You're scared to have this conversation with Marshall."

Mary stood up and began to pace. It helped her when she was discussing topics she didn't like.

"Brandi asked me once what I did to Marshall. I told her I helped break him. She asked if I hurt him on purpose. I didn't have the answer to that. The problem is now I think I do and I'm worried what that revelation says about me."

"So why did you hurt Marshall on purpose?"

"To protect my heart, but instead I broke his for the second time. He told me he loved me twice in his own way and I pretended not to understand. The first time was at the engagement party at the office. He actually said the words, but I pretended he just meant he loved me as a best friend. The second time was before I ran off to Mexico. He told me that maybe messy was what I really needed. The whole speech was his way of telling me how he felt and I went to Mexico with Faber for some cheap sex and then continued to use him for it afterwards. The relationship Marshall and I had was strained after the engagement, but Faber was the final straw. Why would I run off with a loser when I could have the best thing possible?"

"Why did you especially if you knew that?"

"Marshall could give me everything a woman could want. I could reach the sun and the moon. The last person to offer me that was my father. He abandoned me two days before my seventh birthday. I couldn't set myself up for that kind of heartache. I don't even know if I can make that kind of commitment. To try and fail would shatter both of us. So I did the one thing that I knew would change things for the worse. I just didn't mean to make things so bad that he recoiled at my touch." Mary replied, turning away from Shelley and swiping away the tear from the memory of how much that moment had hurt her. "I blew any chance that we could've had if I was willing to try. I know I love Marshall, but I don't know if I'm in love with him. He's the person I care about most in this world. I doubt it matters anymore. Marshall will probably never be able to love me even if I wanted to try."

"The possibility of either option is still there."

"It may or may not be. The one thing I do know is I want to at least be his best friend again. I can settle for just a friend for now, but I need to be the person he can come to when he's hurting. He's done that for me on so many occasions that I want to be able to do that for him. Marshall doesn't deserve to be alone in this life. He needs a friend and I will fight for that position until my dying day."

"Start with that. Tell him what you told me. You need to be honest with him. Marshall, of all people, will not share your secrets. That's what you said in out last session."

"He would never betray my confidence. Thank you, Shelley." Mary replied, realizing that this is what she had needed to do before seeing Marshall.

"Mary, Marshall isn't the only one who deserves to be happy," Shelly said, as Mary opened the door to leave.

Mary nodded, before walking out the door.

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Seth walked down the hallway, heading towards Marshall's bedroom. Shane and Aaron had arrived and he knew Marshall wanted to talk to them before they flew home tomorrow. He already knew what the conversation was about and reassured Marshall that what he had to say was important and would prove to be useful for the two older siblings. They needed to hear how they had made him feel and what needed to change in order for them to make things work. He had a similar conversation with his son a few nights ago, when he returned. None of it surprised Seth, but he knew it helped Marshall to get it out.

Everything his son had told him was true and he was ashamed of his behavior and how he'd been perceived over the years by his youngest. It amazed him that Marshall hadn't had enough years ago. At least they both admitted things were better and he had done his best to ease Marshall's fears that he had no intention of ever making him feel unwanted again.

Quietly entering the room, he saw Marshall asleep on the bed. Walking over to his son Seth gently reached out to touch his forehead to make sure that he didn't have a fever. This injury had scared him more than he'd ever thought possible. Seeing Marshall hooked up to the ventilator had put a lot of things into perspective for him. It shouldn't have taken that, but it did. Now he always felt the need to make sure he wasn't running a fever to show the wound was infected. It was ridiculous because Marshall was healing, but the worry just wouldn't leave so he continued to check on him.

"I'm not sick, Dad." Marshall whispered, slightly amused by the over protectiveness his Dad had been displaying lately.

"Sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to check on you."

"I heard the door open, but wasn't ready to get up yet. Are Aaron and Shane here?"

"Yes, do you want me to have them step out to the patio for you?"

"That would be good," Marshall replied, moving to sit up and wincing when the stitches pulled.

"Are you sure that you're alright?"

"Dad, I'm fine. It just hurts when I move sometimes."

Seth nodded and for some reason unbeknownst to him reached out and ruffled Marshall's hair like he had done when he was a kid.

"Mom and I will be in the kitchen if you need us."

Marshall watched his Dad as he left the room. It still amazed him sometimes at the difference in their relationship already. His Mom had already told him that his father had nightmares about him dying without them having a chance to fix things. His Dad had confirmed it when they talked. Both knew that it was told to make sure he realized that things weren't always as they seemed. His Dad would always have a hard time showing affection, but he was trying. For that Marshall would always be grateful.

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Aaron watched as Shane fidgeted nervously in his chair.

"Would you stop that? It's Marshall; he's not going to shoot us. All he wants to do is talk to us to set some ground rules and give us some guidance about what he wants from us. It's not like he doesn't deserve to be heard out. We owe him that and more," Aaron said.

"You're not worried about what he's going to tell us?" Shane asked.

"I expect we're not going to like what we hear. Think about all the crap we've done to him over the years. We have a lot of flaws and more so when it comes to him. It's about time we manned up to it. No pun intended."

"Well we're about to find out how awful we are. Here he comes," Shane said, as the patio door opened.

"Marshall is the table alright or is the lounge chair easier?" Aaron asked.

"Table is fine. Would you two at least look a little more relaxed? It's not like you're facing a firing squad," Marshall replied, hoping to try keeping things light. He didn't think he was up to an argument. He also knew they wouldn't mouth off with his Dad in the kitchen, watching them.

"Sorry, we were a little nervous when Dad said you wanted to talk to us," Shane admitted.

"Look, I don't want to fight or point out all of the errors that were made on all of our parts in the past. I think we're all very aware of them. I know that the two of you are trying to be better brothers. The problem is you're not comfortable around me because you're worried about everything that you say. I want us to be able to get past that and I thought maybe if we came to an understanding it might make this a little easier."

"Before you continue, what exactly do you think that you did wrong in all of this? We were the ones who acted like jerks," Aaron said.

"I never tried to stop you or let you know it was beginning to be too much. That was my fault. I don't know if it would've changed anything, but speaking up would have made you aware of the issue."

"I hate to say it, but Aaron and I might not have listened anyway. I don't think any one of us believes that your words would have changed anything. You were the smart one and we were trying to stay the cool ones by ignoring your existence in school."

"Yet anytime someone other than the two of you tried to bother me you stood up for me. Never in my presence and not at the school either, but you took a stand when no one else it was looking."

"Shane and I should have done that at the school. You were our baby brother and we should have shown to the others that it wouldn't be tolerated."

"What's past is past. From here on forward though, I expect to be treated with respect from the both of you. I don't mind the Twiggy or other little nicknames you have for me, but I won't tolerate attacks on my personal or professional life. Just because I'm not married or don't have kids yet doesn't make me someone who doesn't date. I just haven't found the person that I want to spend my life with. You two were lucky and found Jory and Tess. I wasn't. Yes, I would like to have that someday, but for now it doesn't seem to be in my future. I'm still hoping to find that special someone and settle down. I just don't need to be constantly reminded that it hasn't happened yet. I would like for us to be the kind of brothers who can talk to each other with respect If we can't do that then let me know and I'll make sure to come around when neither of you are visiting with Mom and Dad."

"We don't want that, Marshall. It's nice to see you at least once a year and, honestly, it should be more often. I promise you that there will be no more attacking your life. I can say we've learned more about you and your job since Christmas and will never compare the two again. I'm sorry we pushed a button with the marriage and children. It was never meant to be an attack. I know that when our wives repeated some of the things we've said to you over the years, it was the first time that either of us realized just how awful those words were. For what it's worth, I'm sorry." Aaron said.

"We're both sorry, Marshall. We were jerks and, honestly, I'm not sure why you'd even give us another chance. It's sad when our children know more about you than we do. We could both have learned a lot from them. I'd like us to be close again, like we were when we were kids. I don't think I realized how much we isolated you as we got older. I do now and don't want it to happen again."

"Good, now let's go eat. I'm sure Mom and Dad have probably strained their ears and necks trying to keep an eye on us."

Shane and Aaron laughed as they got up to follow Marshall back into the house.

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Mary waited a week after talking to Shelley before finally calling Marshall. They were both apparently on the same wave length because she had to leave him a voicemail and, when she was done, she had one from him on her phone wanting to talk. It made her a little nervous, even though she finally was able to say the words she couldn't out loud.

Mary dialed Marshall's number again.

"Mann."

"Hi Marshall."

"Hi Mary, can you stop by tomorrow? I think it's time that we talked about everything."

"Tomorrow would be good," Mary replied, she never realized how used to him calling her 'Mare" she had gotten until it stopped. It stopped the day they stopped being friends. The slip of the nickname in the hospital had been because of the nightmare. She hadn't heard it since.

"I can order Chinese or Pizza if you'd like."

"Whatever you want is fine."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," Mary said, hanging up and walking out into her backyard.

Mary closed her eyes, when she saw the first star in the sky. Inside her mind she whispered the words of an old nursery rhyme long ago buried with memories of her father.

_Star Light Star bright,_

_The first star I see tonight,_

_I wish I may, I wish I might,_

_Have the wish I wish tonight_.

"I wish that Marshall and I can become best friends again," Mary whispered softly into the night.

Opening her eyes, she wondered if it was foolish, but couldn't stop herself from hoping for just this one wish of hers to come true. Turning around, she headed back inside and with one last longing look at the bright star, headed off to bed.

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Stan watched Mary fidget all day at the office. He would've been concerned about her, but Marshall had called him earlier and asked him to stop by tomorrow morning. Stan needed a decision from him, whether he would be Mary's partner or if she would needed another. Technically, he still needed to partner Charlie with someone, but he wanted Marshall to decide what he wanted first. Right now, Charlie and Mary were working fairly well together.

Marshall had mentioned that he and Mary would be talking tonight and he'd have his answer by the morning. Stan knew everything was contingent on how well their talk went. Stan was sure the two of them wanted to work things out, but there was a lot of crap that happened between them. He just hoped Mary could keep her anger in check. The last thing Marshall needed was a blow up between the two of them again.

Looking at the clock, he saw that it was already four thirty. Stepping out of his office he walked over to Mary's desk, indicating with a nod of his head for Charlie to take a walk.

"Why don't you head out? You have plenty of time in this week and your mind isn't here right now. I'll finish showing Charlie the rest of the report. Between you and Marshall, I'm sure he probably has them down pat."

"You know that I'm going to Marshall's tonight."

"Yes, I do."

"Did you call Marshall or did Marshall call you?"

"Marshall called me to tell me that he'd give me my answer tomorrow morning."

"Geez, you didn't even attempt to cover that up."

"Honesty seems to be the best policy. We made enough mistakes by not saying or noticing things in the last several years. I won't do that again. I don't want to be even remotely responsible for helping someone's life spiral out of control again. I've learned my lesson."

"Me too, oddly enough. What if he doesn't like my answers?" Mary asked.

"If you tell him the truth, he'll accept whatever you tell him. The bigger question is can you handle his answers? Don't let pride get in your way or let anger take over. It will cost you what you want."

"Your words or his?"

"Mine, but it's nothing that you don't already know. Marshall is still, well, Marshall. The only thing that has changed is how much he'll put up with. He wants to be treated with respect that he deserves and not to be hurt by those he cares about."

"I don't think he looks at me the same."

"None of us look at ourselves the same way after all of this. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. It'll take time and effort from both of you to get the friendship back. I do believe the opportunity is there for it to return if you're willing to give him friendship in return."

"Thanks, Stan. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Say hi to Marshall for me. Make sure he's not overdoing things."

"Yes, Dad."

Stan smiled as the elevator door closed. He had a feeling that Charlie would need a new partner in another two and a half to three months, when Marshall returned to full service.

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Mary sat in the car a few minutes, staring at Marshall's door. She knew this was it. One way or another, she'd find out if she'd lost her only friend. Getting out of her car, she headed toward the door as Seth and Rachel were coming out.

"Hi Mary," Rachel said.

"Hi. How's Marshall doing?"

"Better than expected. The doctor was impressed with how well he's healing. I think he's readying to get back to work part time. He gets anxious sitting around," Seth replied.

"I remember that feeling. It sucked. You two have a good time."

"We will," Rachel said, giving Mary a hug, so she could whisper in her ear. "Try to relax, everything will be okay. Just answer him honestly. That's what he needs from you."

"I will. Thanks for the advice," Mary replied, before heading to the front door.

Marshall had heard Mary pull up and opened the door before she could knock.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Mary asked, walking into the house after Marshall stepped aside.

"Pretty good for a person who was shot and on a ventilator. If things keep going well, I'll be back on Monday part time. I ordered the pizza; it should be here in half an hour. You're a little earlier than I anticipated."

"Stan kicked me out. He knew I was anxious."

"He knew why also. I told him that you were coming over. My decision about who I want for a partner is due tomorrow."

"That outcome depends on our conversation."

"Mary, there's no pressure here. We need to figure out if we can work together without animosity and if we can be friends and partners."

"We're going to eat first, right? This is going to be a very long conversation," Mary said.

Marshall couldn't help the smirk that had found its way on his face. Some things wouldn't change and food and Mary were not one of them.

"Yes, we can wait."

"Did you talk to your family?"

"Yes, I did. We came to an understanding on how to make things work. It's going well so far, but we'll have to see. They at least seem interested in improving things. Dad and I are good and seem to be getting better. It's just strange to have him so interested in my life."

"That's good. Seth said the doctor mentioned you were doing well. I was glad to hear that."

"Why don't we just talk about my witnesses and how things are going with Charlie until the food arrives?"

Mary agreed and she filled him in on all the happenings in the office, the witnesses and the great job he did training Charlie. By the time they were done, the pizza arrived. Marshall stood up to pay when Mary stopped him.

"I think I'm well over due to pay for the food. You sit and relax."

"Mary, I invited you over."

"To talk about the mistakes that I made that got us to this point. Partners agree to work together in the pursuit of common goals. We worked together, but it should have been as equals. We'll talk about it after pizza."

They ate in silence with the television playing for the background noise. Mary watched him eat and could tell he was still healing because his appetite wasn't back in full force. He stopped at only a couple of slices which was about half of what he normally ate.

"Appetite still not back?" Mary asked making small talk because she couldn't stand the silence.

"Nope, you can have the rest."

"Not why I was asking."

"I know. You're worried. You have that look on your face."

Mary smirked at that. They at least could still read each other. She didn't know why she thought that would change. Maybe it was because lately the breadth of space that had come between them finally sunk in.

Once finished, she started packing up the box and cleaning up their mess. She signaled Marshall to sit while she took care of it. His wound was healing, but that didn't mean it was healed completely or that it didn't hurt if he moved the wrong way.

She took a little extra time in the kitchen trying to get her nerves under control. Everything was riding on the words they were about to share and it scared her to no end.

Marshall rose from the couch and headed into the kitchen. He knew it didn't take this long to put things away and, knowing Mary, she was trying to find a way to relax before they talked. Neither would be possible because they both knew the stakes.

"You okay in here?" Marshall asked, watching Mary jump a little before turning around.

Mary wanted to say yes, but she could tell he was studying her face. The goal of tonight was no lies. Marshall needed to know they could be open with each other. It was her turn to step up to the plate in this friendship and that meant not covering up her fears from him.

"I needed a few minutes before…" Mary let the phrase die off knowing Marshall would understand what she meant.

"Inside or outside?"

"Let's go outside," Mary replied, thinking back to the other day and her first star. She'd wish again for the same thing tonight when she saw it.

Marshall held the door open for her and Mary looked at the patio table with the chairs and at the lounge chairs off to the side.

"Which is more comfortable for you?" Mary asked, wishing she had thought about that before saying 'outside'.

"The table. Lounge chairs are comfortable, but not as easy to get out of."

Mary moved towards the table and felt her stomach tied up in knots. The small talk had been to keep things simple, but from here out they were about to get very personal. She remembered Stan's words and prayed she didn't get defensive during this conversation.

Marshall took a deep breath. He had also been dreading this conversation. It was why he had put it off for so long. Deep down, he knew what he wanted, but wasn't even sure they could get there. He would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that a part of him still had feelings for Mary, but at the moment they were buried under a whole lot of other stuff and he still didn't know if he could ever view Mary as the same person he once did. He hoped this conversation proved they could return to friendship. Anything more than that would take time and a whole lot more analyzing than either of them was ready for.

The silence was killing Mary. She knew he was thinking and wasn't sure about what. The one thing she was sure of was that for this conversation to be appropriate she would need to explain herself. But even now, the explanation sounded not much more than an excuse.

"Marshall, I know you probably would like to start this off, but seeing as I'm the one who made a mess of this I was hoping that I could at the very least attempt to try explaining myself. The reasons aren't the best and honestly I've only just admitted them during one of my sessions. Is it okay if I start this?" Mary asked, knowing she sounded insecure and, hell, she was.

Marshall knew how hard this was for Mary. He didn't pretend that her past didn't play a huge part in this, because it did. It made her strong yet vulnerable to many things. Her asking him instead of just jumping in, showed him some progress had been made in her sessions with Shelley.

"Go ahead. It's probably better that way."

"Thanks. We've been struggling with each other a lot longer than my stupid idea of running off to Mexico with Faber. I know, it was icing on the cake for lack of better expression. After my engagement to Raph, we started drifting apart. That was my fault. I knew you would see through it and call me on it. I wanted so desperately to find 'normal' that I was going to marry a man I didn't love. Since Dad left us, I've lost all sense of what normal was and trusting in people. You came along and somehow found a way to worm yourself into my life and past all my barriers. I thought I protected myself from ever feeling the kind of pain I had when my father left. When I saw that letter on your desk about transferring out it started to come back. You were thinking of leaving me and then you got shot. I could've lost you then too."

Mary stood up and began to pace just like she did in Shelley's office. She knew it was the only way she could get through this conversation.

"You didn't die for me and I buried that insecurity inside, but it was always in the back of my mind. Somewhere along the way you became my rock and I used and abused the kindness every day. Still not really sure why you didn't walk away from me back then."

Marshall looked into Mary's face as she stared at him.

"I knew you were scared," Marshall replied shrugging. "It was the first time you expressed you cared about me."

"I always cared, but in a usual Mary Shannon fashion I laughed it off. I've strayed. At the engagement party, I knew what you were saying that you 'loved me' loved me. I knew I hurt you, but I thought it would protect you. Raph figured out that we weren't right for each other after his aunt visited. We never could have made it three years, hell, if even one much less the forty-five that his aunt and uncle were married for. Then came my biggest mistake, Faber. I knew you didn't like him, but he was easy, fun, and disposable."

"Why him, Mary? You knew what I was telling you before you left and you knew I didn't trust him. What the hell makes him better than me?"

"Faber was never better than you. I hurt you in so I could stop myself from hurting me. Which I know it sounds stupid. You were offering me everything a girl is supposed to want, just like my father did. We both know how well that turned out. I kept telling myself that I was protecting you, but I was really doing the opposite."

"Why continue sleeping with him Mary? Why did you still see him? He was with you when I was in Vegas."

"To keep you away. I wanted you to stop loving me. We'd be okay if you did that. Neither one of us would get hurt. I swear, Marshall, I didn't realize what it was doing to you. At least not at first, when I got back from Mexico and you'd found out about Faber you pulled your hand away from mine in disgust. I thought you wouldn't find out about the Christmas tryst with you being at your parent's house. He came to town and I wanted to blow off steam the usual way."

Marshall still remembered the day he recoiled at her touch. Knowing that she'd touched Faber with that hand made him sick and he felt dirty the second her skin touched his. It was why he pulled away from her so quickly. He'd seen the hurt in her eyes, but it didn't compare to the one in his heart and he realized at that moment that he'd lost all respect for her.

"I lost your respect the day I returned. To see you recoil at the mere contact of our hands spoke the words you didn't have to. After that, we stopped spending time with each other. I pulled away because of your reaction. You pulled away because I disgusted you. Your opinion of me was so low that I knew we entered unchartered territory. It didn't matter if I still saw Faber once and awhile. He scratched an itch and I guess I thought if I kept in on the down low, we'd be okay, but the damage was already done and it escalated at Christmas. It's funny, I threw Faber out after you called and in no uncertain terms told him that you were more important than him. It was the truth. After we became friends, you were always the most important person in my life."

"Then why treat me like a doormat?"

"It kept a barrier between us. If we didn't cross that barrier then things would turn out okay. I would still land on two feel if you went away. None of this is a good enough reason for what I did to you and I'll always regret it, but I can't change the past. I can only attempt to keep working on making myself a better person and friend to you, if you're willing to give me a second chance. I love you, Marshall, but I don't know if I'm in love with you or ever will be. I'm not even sure I know what it means to be in love."

"I'm not here to ask you to be in love with me. I'm not sure that I can feel that way about you ever again. Things are different and yes, you being with Faber played a huge role in that. Raph was probably the best person you dated, but, hell, even he wasn't good enough for you. Probably not a loser like most of the others, but face it, he cheated on you with his therapist and tried to change you into his image of an ideal girlfriend or wife. That's not love, and yet you kept letting him into your bed. You'll never find love, if you think sex is love. Somehow, though I think you already know that."

"What do you want from me?"

"To be treated with respect. For you to treat me as an equal. I want you to stop ridiculing my personal life and the choices I make. Not to be offensive, but you of all people don't have a place to say anything about who is or isn't and appropriate person for me to date. You leave my personal life and your personal life out of work. You need to respect that I'm in charge of my witnesses and if you have a suspicion about one of them you bring it to me instead of deciding to handle it on your own. They're my witnesses not yours. Don't look at me like that; we both know you've done it before."

Mary nodded. She had done that on several occasions.

"So we're back to being partners, but not friends," Mary said, unable to hide the sigh.

"Friendship takes time and trust. We've lost that. It will take time to rebuild. I'm not saying that we can't ever be friends, but we're going to have to start off slowly. I won't make you a promise that I can't keep. Right now I can't promise friendship. The only thing that I can tell you is that, if you're willing to meet me half way, then I'm willing to work toward being friends. I knew that I still had to care about you by my reaction to not knowing if you had been hurt at the airport. Doesn't mean we're okay, but it doesn't mean that we can't be with time. The only warning I will give is that if we start heading back down the same path we were on then, there won't be a friendship or partnership. I won't go back to being treated that way."

"What if I accidentally slip up?"

"Why does everyone think that I expect perfection? Mary, some of this stuff is old habits. I know that you can't change them overnight and I'm not asking for that. I do expect you to acknowledge and actually apologize if it starts up again, but it needs to be dealt with and stopped. I'm not going to keep forgiving it and let you continue doing it because it was forgiven once before."

"How do we start rebuilding the friendship? Will you go with me to lunch every now and then? I won't expect you to pay. From now on we'll do an even split."

Marshall smiled. He could tell she really wanted to work things out.

"Lunch is a good place to start. We'll see what happens from there."

"So you'll be my partner again."

"On a trial basis if Stan agrees."

"I doubt that will be a problem."

"Probably not."

"Marshall, what if somewhere down the line we both decide that there might be more to us then just partners and or friends?"

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes to that."

"Fair enough. Can I ask one thing of you?"

"You can," Marshall said, curiously.

"Will you please tell someone when things are becoming too much for you to handle, instead of running off on your own and getting drunk? You scared the living daylights out of all of us. I just want you to be able to open up to someone so you don't hurt as bad as you did at Christmas."

"I know I keep things bottled up inside and I've already promised my parents that I wouldn't let that happen again. I make the same promise to you."

"Marshall, will you ever call me 'Mare' again?"

"I don't know. It's a nickname and those are for friends. We're not there yet."

"Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about or should I go and leave you to do whatever you have planned?" Mary asked, trying not to feel the sting of those words.

"Do you want to watch a movie before my parents get back?" Marshall offered the only peace offering he could with the way things were at that moment.

"I'd like that. What do you have in mind?"

"The Star Wars trilogy."

Mary almost groaned, but wouldn't turn down the offer to spend time with Marshall.

"Sounds good."

"Right," Marshall chuckled. "Mary, you hate watching the three back to back. You're allowed to have a difference of opinion you know. It won't stop us from becoming friends again."

"Thank you, how about Die Hard instead?"

"Deal."


	17. Chapter 17

Stan was waiting for Marshall to show up. He was originally going to meet him at his house, but apparently someone was getting a little stir crazy, as Seth may have mentioned. Marshall's father was bringing him to the office and the doctor. He was coming in before Mary arrived, so he didn't know how their meeting had gone. The sound of the elevator arriving caught his attention.

Seth and Marshall emerged from the elevator and Seth used Marshall's card to scan them in. Marshall was moving a little slower than normal, but his color was back. Stan walked out of his office.

"Marshall, it's good to see you. You're looking better than the last time I saw you."

"Thanks, Stan. It's good to be back."

"Seth, mind if I borrow your son for a little while?"

"He's all yours. I'll be at your desk."

Stan let Marshall walk in first and closed the door once Marshall was seated.

"Alright, I know that you and Mary talked and I'll be honest, I'm hoping that it went well. While you've been a great asset in teaching Charlie, nothing beats the team of you and Mary. But, if your decision is that you can't work with her, I'll respect that too. The choice is yours."

"Mary and I discussed being partners again and if you're okay with it I'd like to give it a chance. We've laid down some ground rules and expectations as well as what would happen, if things headed back to the way they were before."

"Marshall, I'm going to have to ask what those ground rules are and what will happen if things don't work out."

Marshall knew Stan wasn't trying to pry in his and Mary's conversation. As his boss he had the right to know. Taking a deep breath, Marshall told Stan the information relevant to the job.

"It sounds like we're back to where we were when you returned," Stan said, concerned.

"I'd say we're better off then we were after Christmas. Mary is making an effort to be a better person. She's dealing with the issues that she's had to and we're actually talking. Things aren't perfect, but they haven't been for a long time. I know that you're not as blind to things, as some people in this office believe."

"You always were too observant. What are your expectations of me?"

"Honestly, Stan, you're the one that I've had the least issues with. I just want you to be the boss and treat us all equally. You've had a blind spot for Mary for a long time and seem to be working on that. I want us to be able to talk and have fun like before, but I would like to see that we're all held to the same rules and standards."

"Fair enough. When you come back and are on desk duty part time, I'll have you work with Charlie on the paperwork. Mary will continue to train him out in the field, while I search for a partner for him."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you on Monday."

"Marshall, I need you to tell me, if you're not feeling well enough to be here and I also expect that in the future, if something is bothering you, that we can talk about it before you spiral downhill so far that I have to drive to Vegas to find you hung-over or hammered in a hotel room."

"You have my word. Trust me, I've made that promise to just about everyone. I realize that it was my mistake to let things fester ,. Shelley has helped me with that."

"Alright, but you will have to see her again, before you are cleared for fieldwork."

"I know," Marshall said smiling.

"That's the first genuine smile that I've seen in a long time. I've missed it."

"So have I."

"I'll see you Monday, Marshall. Call if you need anything."

"Will do, Stan. See you later."

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary walked into Two Fool's Tavern and looked around for her partner. It had been a year since he had returned to the office after the shooting. They were spending more time together as the months passed and sticking to their rules.

Mary knew Marshall had been dating someone the last few weeks and even though she was curious she didn't ask about it. A part of her would freely admit that she was jealous and Shelley said that it was a good thing that she could. Mary still couldn't say that she was in love with him, but she cared greatly for him. That's what mattered for now. Only time would tell, if they became something more. At this point, Mary was thrilled to be able to call him her friend.

"Mare," Marshall called out, flagging her over to him.

Mary smiled; she had missed that nickname for such a long time. The first time he called her it brought a huge smile to her face that lasted all day and about gave Stan heartburn, thinking she was up to something, until she finally decided to share with him before leaving the office.

"Sorry, I'm late. Shannon family drama episode just before I left. I thought I could still get here on time, but I ran into traffic."

"No worries, I ordered a pitcher and some Nachos."

"You're in a good mood. What's going on?"

"Jacob Marshall Mann called me Unca Marsh."

"Congrats, how's Lizzie handling not having a sister?"

"She's adjusting. Demanded Shane and Jory give her a baby sister and soon."

Mary laughed. "How'd Jory respond to that?"

"Apparently, she said that it should be up to Tess to give her another female cousin."

"They didn't drag you into the conversation, did they?" Mary asked, concerned.

"No, they know that I'm not seeing anyone seriously."

"That's good. Not that you're not seeing someone seriously, but that they didn't drag you into it."

"Mary, relax. I know what you meant. We've both grown a lot over the last year."

"That we have. I knew things were going to be okay the first time you called me Mare again. I never realized how much that meant."

Marshall reached over and squeezed her hand. "I think I have an idea. You were so scared to call me Doofus that the first time it slipped out I was thrilled."

"I was scared that you would have thought it was an insult. I remember fearing your reaction," Mary said, entwining her fingers with Marshall's.

"We've come along ways from them."

"Marshall, I still don't know…" Mary started, but was cut off by Marshall.

"Neither do I. There are feelings, but we're just not there yet. You're still finding peace with your past and I'm still working on my issues. We're not ready to deal with any other feelings. I can tell you that I care greatly about you. I love you as my best friend and there is probably more to it than that. I admit that strong feelings like that don't just die overnight, but the heart needs time to heal from everything else before we could explore anything beyond friendship."

"But when the heart finds itself then it can be explored if mutually decided that it should be explored?"

"Yes, if mutually beneficial and nothing changes in between it could be examined. In the meantime this heart is going to enjoy a beer and nachos with his best friend for who said heart finds spending time with very enjoyable."

"I like the way that heart thinks. It's got class and sounds a lot like another heart I know."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, this heart enjoys spending time with her best friend and always enjoys a good nacho drowned with a cold glass of beer. Raise your glass, please."

Marshall smiled and picked up his glass of beer.

"To second chances and best friends," Mary said.

"I'll drink to that," Marshall replied clinking glasses with Mary.


End file.
